Saturday, February 09, 2002

I let go

I don't wake up to your face anymore. Your not the last thought to cross my mind before I go to sleep like you used to be. You no longer make me terrified of the way people look at me. You have no power over the way I act, speak, or feel anymore. I never told you this, but I never thought you deserved what you could have had. You didn't deserve the attention. You didn't deserve the frequent denial. You didn't deserve much of anything. You know, for so long I thought that maybe if I avoided you that day, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. But nah, it wasn't my fault. They told me it was yours. I believe it. But as much as I want to hate you, as much as I want retribution for this pain, as much as I feel like taking advantage of the SoL, I forgive you. I want it back, but I'm not gonna pursecute you. You gave me fire. You are the reason I feel the way I do about capital punishment. You helped to put me into criminal justice even before I went to college. But that doesn't make you right. You aren't much of a man, I'll say that, but I forgive you.

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