Monday, August 27, 2001

I feel good today.

I went to bed last night at 2:30am and I woke up at 10. I kinda met one of my roommates; she was here last night when I got here but then she left early this morning. I'm watching 3rd Watch From The Sun patiently awaiting for my soaps do grace the screen. I'm tossin' Goldfish into the air (yummy) and typing at the same time; it's a talent. And I don't mind that I live in a triple with two girls I've never met before, that my RA is my sweet mate, that I can smell the food from the cafe through my window and that I haven't bought any books yet (classes start tomorrow).

Today is a good day.

Wednesday, August 22, 2001

Well, I just got verbally slapped. Of course I certainly deserved it but it still stings.

On a more uplifting note, I am finally able to announce that I will have a change of address in two days. I will be living at Western Michigan University for the next 6 months and I couldn't be more happy. Well, I'd be even happier if Sobe526 was taking the trip with me, but that time will come soon. She'll be back to her old, blissful and jovial self in no time, I can't wait.

My blog today is quite choppy. I guess I'm still sitting in the mud, after being knocked the fuck off my high horse. I don't know, feelings are feelings and you can't deny them I guess. You know, every now and then when I read/hear what people honestly think about an issue/person, sometimes I wish I hadn't. It's difficult to face reality sometimes and even more grueling to face the fact that you are the issue/person.

I have pictures posted finally! Just click HERE and it'll zoom in on my fun picture page!

Tuesday, August 21, 2001



Monday, August 20, 2001


I lost someone today. Possibly the best Euchre player and friend I’ve ever met, I lost. I took this person for granted and was too callous to even notice. And with head in hands, I realize that I was also too much of a child to admit that. God I am miserable. As well I should be, fuck I don’t even deserve to be. Ah god, kill me now.

Thursday, August 16, 2001

Figurative quandary.

A luscious piece of pie lay on the counter. And with it’s wicked delectable and magnetic appeal, it emitted rays of “taste me” in all directions. The small tantalizing cherries, smothered in scarlet syrup, all nestled delicately into the velvety crust; made it tremendously difficult to ignore its wiles. My attempts to dissuade my wayward thoughts were failing and become increasingly weak as time endured. With a tilt of my head and a guilt-ridden stare, I gazed over the plate, reexamining the contents. How could I turn away such a young, mouth-watering piece of cherry pie? All it wants is someone to savor its succulent, heavenly mass of pastry and fruit, why not me?

No. The provokingly splendid smell emanating from the warm slice of pie, I admit, was almost tempting enough to convince me to grab a fork. However, I couldn’t let myself open the drawer to grip one. I have not yet relished in such a delightful tartlet this year, which is slightly surprising, but I had good reason for not indulging. I can’t stand the lingering anguish of the love handles it left behind, not to mention the grimy silverware and dishes. But still the cheese remains in the trap.

What would you do?

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

Holy Shiznit this is funny!! Granted it's written by incredibly vicious, glacial, under pleased and very bitter lesbians, but regardless of what sexual orientation we are, we are freakin hilarious when we're bitches!!!!!

How to Offend a Naked Man
Top things to say to make him squirm.

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahhhh, it's cute.

3. Why don't we just cuddle?

4. You know they have surgery to fix that.

5. Make it dance.

6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?

7. Wow, and your feet are so big.

8. It's OK, we'll work around it.

9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

10. Oh no... a flash headache.

11. (giggle and point)

12. Can I be honest with you?

13. How sweet, you brought incense.

14. This explains your car.

15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

16. Why is God punishing me?

17. At least this won't take long.

18. I never saw one like that before.

19. But it still works, right?

20. It looks so unused.

21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

23. Are you cold?

24. If you get me real drunk first.

25. Is that an optical illusion?

26. What is that?

27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

28. Does it come with an air pump?

29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

YOu kNOw WHaT??? pARkIng aT WEsTerN nOW iS $225!!!! ArE yOU FrEakiN KiDDIng mE?!! i MEaN cOmE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2001

1.Your potted plants stay alive..

2.Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

3.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

5.You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

6.You carry an umbrella.

7.You watch the Weather Channel.

8.Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.

9.You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

10.Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'

11.You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

12.Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

13.You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

14.Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

15.You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.

16.Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

17.You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

18.Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

19.MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.

20.You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

21.A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.

22.You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

23.Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese,diet Pepsi, Ho-ho's

24.'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again

25.Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

26.You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar

Monday, August 13, 2001

When I finally came to the realization that I can be a real jackass, it came to me. Why is it that I can’t be what people want me to be? Why is it that I’m gonna lose the best relationship I’ve ever had because my consuming feelings of inadequacy and meagerness? (That meaning: I don’t feel I’m on the same emotional level or as intense as my significant other) No matter how much I push and motivate, I can’t seem to conquer that much less anything.

As I review my emotional life over the past decade, I’ve come to recognize one major cornerstone to which I’ve built my life upon. As far as I can remember, my greatest ambition was to be autonomous. I guess I’ve always wanted to prove that I am capable of taking care of myself and that I people don’t have to waste their time worrying about me. But truth be told, as I overlooked my past, I found things that I weren’t particular pleasing.

I discovered that my means of achieving independence weren’t and still are not giving me quite the ends I was hoping for. The following are the keys flaws I noted in my review of myself:
1. Sometimes I’d actually prefer solitude to time with close friends.
2. I’ve never had a relationship, with the exception of one, that lasted longer than 2 months. One of my previous blog’s screamed with self-reliance (not to mention overwhelming pessimistic overtones); in comparing love to co-dependency.
3. I’ve always depended on myself financially, physically and emotionally.

I guess this all isn’t as bad as I perceive it to be, reading it on paper. However, it’s just that sometimes my dreams of becoming totally independent interfere with another cornerstone in the foundation of my life, which is the desire to make everyone happy. When this gets in the way, it creates a glitch, which I loathe to the freakin core. This most often takes place in note #2, which is where I end up injuring not only someone who cares a great deal about me, but I end up making myself more psychologically callous in the process. Could it be characterized as a fear of emotional intimacy or just a fanatical dedication to autonomy? I have no freakin clue.

Oh, I think I have a headache.

This is Dr. Jack, signing off.

P.S I warned you that you might get lost. Heed the forewarnings before entering the psyche of Jack! I’m so freakin weird. Who says, “heed”?

Wednesday, August 08, 2001

After inhaling God knows what into my lungs, walking up white-hot stairs into thousand degree rooms, and surveying a highly hazardous roof (including CO and fall risks), I come back to find out that I’ve been pinned between two friends. This is not what I really need right now. I’m still spitting coal and solvents from the back of my throat from this morning, I really don’t need another thing to worry about. If it wasn’t today, if I wasn’t covered in smut and I didn’t smell like SO2 (Sulfur Dioxide), I probably wouldn’t give a shiznit. But, JoFish19 please, please don’t bring me into this; I am not siding with anyone. And I’m not saying anything further about it.

::Sigh:: I can’t talk about anything else. Anything Else is too inconsistent and just odd.

Tuesday, August 07, 2001

I went to an opta-tra-tro-tamitrist (to uninformed people that’s an eye doctor) last week and he asked me the usual; where do you go to school? What’s your major? Etc. etc. So all in one breath, I replied “Western, to be a State Trooper.” He seemed to be taken back a bit by my response at first, but then eased up as he realized that I noticed. An awkward silence draped the room for a moment as he moved the Glaucoma testing apparatus up towards my chin. Then in an effort to relieve the slight discomfiting aura in the room, he asked, in a concerned father type voice, if I had checked the visual standards in order to even be considered by the MSP department. Despite his effort, he had now not only managed to make the exam room feel like an ant trap but also knocked me off my high horse with a freakin wrecking ball.

“What if” questions ran through my head a million times per second. What if I was disqualified just because of a birth defect? What if I never get a chance to pursue my dream because of a minor detail that I seemed to have overlooked? What if I can’t go into anything else involving law enforcement? Oh no…I could literally see my future in a guillotine.

I drove nervously to work the next morning and pulled up the MSP website on the computer. I printed out a copy of the qualifications and handed it to my mom. Moms are no help in reading optree-troma-tra-trist language let me tell you, they don’t know what the hell those eye people are talking about. I mean come on, who doesn’t know the difference between 20/30 and 20/100?

So, I’m waiting to hear back from my opto-moma-tra-trist for some insight on this whole “this is my dream and the only thing I want to do in this world” thing. I’m hoping he can decipher the sweet lingo of optoma-tra-trom-momotry for me and maybe give me some good news. And if he doesn’t, well then maybe, after months of solitude and weeks of self-beatings, I’ll decide to become an opta-trap-otrom-i-trist.

Until then I have to remind myself to breath.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, everything’s gonna be alright.” –Mr. Bob Marley

Opto-matram-a-trop-otrist. Ha I just wanted to say that again.

Monday, August 06, 2001

Sites to check out:

:::shrug:::: Just somethin to keep you busy if your bored. Whatever, I'm goin to bed.
“The best yahoo I ever had was with Yahoo. We did it yahoo yahoo yahoo yahoo yahoo yahoo and it lasted for yahoo. It was great and I remember it vividly.”
-Mike Topp

“Give a lover an expensive diamond ring and that lover will probably lose it in a cocktail lounge when they're getting drunk with their sexy co-worker. But give a lover a lump of coal and they can carry it around all day and squeeze it very tightly in their hand and eventually it might turn into a diamond, although it should still have a nice setting.”
-Mike Topp

3822 Voted America's Favorite PIN Number
NEW YORK-- Narrowly edging out 7135, 3822 is the nation's favorite personal-identification number, according to the August issue of Money. "Random-seeming yet easy to remember, 3822 is the 'PIN that's in' for 2001 and beyond," read a cover story revealing the results of the publication's "2001 Money PIN Poll." "I've never gone wrong punching in 3822," Harrisburg, PA, retiree Nancy Polk said. "Whether I'm withdrawing money for my hip medication or taking out a big chunk of my life savings for a casino trip, 3822 is the number that gets me there."

This site made my jaw drop. Crazyness.

If that link thing didn't work--this is the

Friday, August 03, 2001

Check out my buddy JoFish19---I'm still waiting for his topic for debate.
Things that are good:

1. Mountain Dew at 9:15am.
2. Having a T-Shirt with your name on it.
3. Dancing in a club/bar.
4. Sipping on a French Kiss while watching half-naked men dance in a hot body contest.
5. A shower at 11pm. Sleeping at 11:15pm.
6. Stretching.
7. Foot Massages.
8. Big bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate on top, on a warm couch, watching a good movie.
9. Meijer.
10. Being asked "How are you?"

Wednesday, August 01, 2001

"There we stand about to fly
Peeking down over land
Parachute behind

What was that moment for which we live?
Without a parachute about to dive
I find myself convincing
Blindly falling faster

How easy
Know the place I’m leaving
And the rest just is gone

Oh the adoration
But how much strength does it take
For exploration
For split decision
Or are you stronger to remain

I find myself convincing
Blindly falling faster
How easy
Know the place I’m leaving
And the rest is just gone

It crept up on me
Ignored all my pleas
Begging to leave
No justice to name me
Fell out of the sky
Cease it to be
Without a reply
Gravity fails me
And when I awoke
I knew what was real
Hope to convince you
Lies they all torture me
Opened the door
Knew what was me
I finally realized
Parachute over me"

This is one of my favorite songs as well as favorite bands’. It was soothing my ears as I read and humbly conceded to JoFish19’s powerful refutation to my previous post. His point was well taken, however I choose to remain on the other side of the fence. But his effort wasn’t totally lost; I can see where he’s his stemming from all the more clearer now.

Speaking of JoFish19, he and I went to a Guster concert in Pontiac a while back. It was great; the drummer, I believe his name is Brian, played his percussion set entirely with his hands. With only three in the band, they come up with the most amazing music I’ve ever heard. I would definitely recommend them to anyone looking for a great tune and a phenomenal concert.

Check em out @ or their CD’s; which include, Parachute, Goldfly and Lost and Gone Forever.

Oh and JoFish19, I hope in the duration of our little debate, I didn’t offend you too much. If I did, I apologize.