Tuesday, October 30, 2001

Limp Bizzcottii

It's just one of days, when you don't wanna wake up, everything is fucked, everybody sucks. You don't really know why but you wanna justify rippin someone's head off. No human contact and if you interact, your life is on contract. Your best bet is to stay away MOTHER FUCKER!!

It's just one of those days. It's all about the he said she said bullshit.....I think you better quit lettin shit slip or you'll be leavin with a fat lip...........It's all about the he said she said bullshit..I think you better quit talkin that shit punk.......

It's just one of those days, feelin like a freight train, first one to complain, leaves with the blood stain. Damn right I'm a maniac, you better watch your back cause I'm fuckin up your program. And if your stuck up, next in line to get fucked up..Your best bet is to stay away mother fucker!! .........

I feel like shit, my suggestion is to keep your distance, cause right now I'm dangerous, we've all felt like shit, been treated like shit...all those mother fuckers they wanna step up?! Hope you know I pack a chainsaw, I'll skin your ass raw......and if my day keeps goin this way I just might break something tonight.....I pack a chainsaw, I'll skin your ass raw...and if my day keeps goin this way i just might BREAK YOUR FUCKIN FACE TONIGHT!!!!!! GIVE ME SOMIN TO BREAK!!!!!

Someone is tapping on my last nerve..........I'll give you one guess
HIST 313

Right now, I'd like a nice cup of coffee, biscottii, a pair of warm fleece pants, and huge gynormus sweatshirt. But I must go take notes for an hour and fifteen minutes in HIST 313. My happiness must be put off for another moment.

Monday, October 29, 2001

Note to Sobe526 and Jellybeem:

Thank you for driving my truck to Sandusky when I really didn't have the energy to drive, dragging my ass on the big coasters like Millenium Force and Raptor, and utterly scaring the shit out of me before each and every ride. You guys are awesome. I'm glad we had the balls to go through with it, the 30 degree weather actually wasn't that bad once you got used to the frozen tears, wind burn and that fact that your fingers were ice. YOU BOTH ARE SOO FREAKIN COOL IT MAKES ME JEALOUS!!!

Friday, October 26, 2001

Inhaling another breath of air

Smell the fresh rain while the warmth of the sun kisses your cheek. Feel the chilled wooden planks of the porch on your bare feet. Stretch. The routine floods your brain. Touch the saturated lumber as your hand grazes the rail. The sun bathes you with light as you stride towards the porch opening and down the mellifluous steps to the footway. Grab the sodden newspaper wrapped in a failing plastic bag and stand up sucking another breath of oxygen into your depleted lungs. Your feet, tinged with cement flakes and grass clippings, start back up the veranda steps. The sun's rays welcome your back and in closing your eyes you imagine the silk touch of your mother's hands across your skin. The feeling is splendidly familiar. The moment passes and you grip the icy door handle serenely. Wind rushes outward and you can taste the eggs and bacon in the air. Toss the paper on the floor, dash toward the kitchen and sit comfortably in the aged wooden chair, as a plate is placed in front of you. Eat the smooth, golden, scrambled eggs, topped with a touch of salt and pepper. And the fried, crimson bacon, smothered with grease and minuscule morsels of egg. Your hunger is satisfied and you clasp the phone. You greet your mother with a "Good Morning, I love you" and you can hear her smile through the receiver. Her smile is what makes every morning worth waking up to.

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

Strangely Optimistic

I'm exhausted at times. From time to time, I'm tired of the same ole shit. Sometimes I'm tired of life taking the road less traveled. Every now and then I can't take the beating of my own self-criticism. Sometimes it only takes one bad mark, one bad professor, or one minute late to lecture, that'll massacre my optimism. But more often than not, there's always someone to hold me, love me, and soothe my angst. My fatigue vanishes, I dawn a smile, and I feel incandescent. Life is good.
Papa JonJon

Nopa, you just brightened my day. One day, when your famous and you're up on stage and I'm yelling out "JJJJOOOOONNNN!", I hope you'll remember me....and laugh at my sober ass. You're always there to talk to and I dig that. You are a true friend. Thank you. Jackass :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Who knew?!

Five For Fighting's "Superman" is floating through my brain. I made a breakthrough last night. It took a whole hell of a lot to roll that first word off my tongue but I couldn't believe how easy it was to spill each paragraph from my lips. I continued on and the more I spoke, the smaller the issue seemed out loud. I feel great. Is this what I've been missing for the last 19 years?! Wow. I am really stupid. :)

Oh hey I forgot to tell ya, I'm dating a pimp. Dude, this is so cool, a crack whore and a pimp ......who knew?!

Friday, October 19, 2001

WhAT iS gOiNG oN?!

I stayed up all night last night. I want to talk to Hollywood. I have to go on rounds with RA's tonight. And when the hell did it get dark out?!
Note to Self

If you ever pull a true all nighter again, you will be damned...FOREVER. FORRRREEEEEVVVVEEERRR!

Thursday, October 18, 2001

My College Education

I have a 6 page Journal for CJ do tomorrow. I have an exam in CJ tomorrow. I have to read for the test in CJ tomorrow. What am I thinking about right now?--------There must be a shorter way to and from class.

Sunday, October 14, 2001

You know who I'd love to watch debate?

1. Durkheim vs. Mills
2. Melchert vs. Marx
3. Bentham vs. Feurerbach

You've seen what those guns can do in the 19th and 20th centuries, now let's see what they can do in the ring! 1 table, 2 chairs, Atlantic City. Dude that would be so cool.........wait, damnit......why do I have to be such a nerd?! soooooo stupid.

Friday, October 12, 2001

I was really excited

I thought that Rox419, Jellybeem and Sobe526 were all comin up to Western this weekend, two weeks ago. And then it changed and I learned that it was only Sobe526 that was planning on staying here. And then, it changed to just Jellybeem and Sobe526 were comin up. And then they said Rox419, Jellybeem, and Sobe526 and maybe HockeyGirl were gonna show up. And then, now, it's only Jellybeem, Rox419, and Sobe526.....ahh.

New life ambition

Seek to become a hick.

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

Ah. Ok I'm done now. Hopefully.

I've decided that I don't care. Yes I have now converted to apatheticism and if this were a religion, I'm starting to feel like the Jesus of languor. I think it came about yesterday at about 7pm. I walked to my Foreign Policy class in Dunbar, anxiously awaiting for the results on the exam I took last week. Ok so I was basically running to history (yea I know--what is that?) but I really wanted to know. But what do I find when I get there?! I sit down and my test is handed to me and I got a C. A mutha fuckin C. I've gone to every class with the exception of one, which I skipped to study for another class, I've taken notes and I've even fuckin studied and I get a shitty C. Oh I was ticked, let me tell you. Anyway, I go back to my dorm to relax and read some Philosophy before my CMD class at 6. I headed off to class at 20 to, and when I got there, it was the same fuckin thing. I told myself everything would be fine after discovering my first quiz came back at a whopping 18/26 but little did I know that after studying and reviewing over and over again, I would come to find that my next quiz would be even worse--topping out at a wonderful 16/30. I fuckin suck. I go to class, I'm a good kid, I do all the shit people tell me to do and I can't do well on the freakin exams.

Those days are killer. You know you think that today's gonna be a good day, and it turns out that today could very well put you in the hospital (mental or physical---in my case, more mental). That's why I'm now queen of the apathetic little people.

On a brighter note, my mom sent me somthin in the mail. It was a piece of paper that said, "Hi! I love you! -MOM" and a check and a sticker for the plate on my truck. Dude I love that woman, she's awesome. Oh yea I like the checks too, KEEP EM COMIN MA!

Tuesday, October 09, 2001

Hmmmmm.

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

Monday, October 08, 2001

Rayman

If you haven't played Rayman, I feel so sorry for you. You are missing out on the bestest game in the whole wide world. Bestest, I'm tellin you.....Awesome.
Maybe I'll see ya later Jeremy.

Saturday, October 06, 2001

I've been thinking

Holy shit I've been thinking. Aight hold on while I try to contain myself. Holy shit motha fuckin thinking and shit........ahh ok.

So anyway, I've been thinking a lot about my two friends, ummm from here on out they'll be reffered to as Jeremy and Reagan. This story needs a flashback----flashback commensing--riiiiiiggghhhhhhttt now: so Jeremy and Reagan are really good friends and they've even managed to extend the friendship over state lines, which they thought, was just the coolest thing ever. One phone call though, almost proved too much for the bond. Jeremy was talkin about this house that he was building with Kansas Friend Charlie and how Jeremy's end of the deal was to make sure that the house wasn't built in a tornado zone. He said that at all costs he'd like to avoid the natural disaster that almost claimed both Kansas Friend Charlie and Jeremy's lives'.

Reagan, sitting helplessly on the other end of the phone and feelin truly guilty about the little things she takes for granted living in Michigan, offers Jeremy a trip out to California with her. Recalling the many stories Jeremy had told her about California and weekends at his summer cottage there, she thought it was a splendid idea. I mean, she really wanted to go to see her friend, she had had the idea in her head for a while and he needed a smile, right? He drew back from the phone cautiously. Jeremy whispered, "it's a long drive, the roads are horrible, it's windy as hell in some states, we don't have much money, and we could break down on the way. Trust me, it's happened before." Reagan was taken aback by his reply, like whoa (J).

But in quick response, Reagan said "it's not a big deal, we don't have to go. If it causes you this much extra worry it's not worth it." In her attempts to alleviate some of the apprehension in his voice, she managed to create an overwhelming awkwardness between them she didn't feel at all comfortable with. So she hung up with Jeremy and put his number away in a drawer.

This brings us to the last couple of days. Reagan hasn't spoken to him really and frankly I'm a little concerned. She told me she feels terrible about bringing about bad memories in Jeremy but and now this is where I was a little confused……

………….She said "I feel horrible about what he went through the first time on his trek to California, but I hate it when he compares the past with the future. How does he know that the drive will be the same?! But I guess if it worry's him that much it's not anything to lose sleep over. I guess I'm kinda disappointed that we won't take that trip out west together but it's not a big deal. At least we're still buddies and I'm happy with that. But…it must be said……if he ever changed his mind…….I'd be in my truck and on my way….no questions asked."

Thursday, October 04, 2001

People that make me smile and want to empty my bank account and shower them with gifts

63. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT
THIS TO YOU?
jack you are a cool, real, and down to earth gal i like you so much!
you are also very articulate and very intuitive and i admire that about
you. you kick ass jacks!

HotLindsay5 you are so awesome. I never know what to expect when I'm around you. You have a sense of humor that is only unique to you---and you make me laugh so freakin hard!! You are the sweetest, cutest girl ever!!

63. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT
THIS TO YOU?
Jack is awesome... she always knows how to have a good time and she
makes people smile...

HyprHypo, I know that we've had a rough past but it's history. You are one of the sweetest guys I've ever met and you definitly know how to party. Remember your house part deux?! Yea you kicked my ass that night. That wasn't cool yo :-) You're a great guy and an awesome athlete. Oh yea, and a better euchre player than I'll ever be!
I love my motorcycle.

When I get out of college, this is gonna sound hickish but, I want a pickup truck, my off road bike, a street legal bike (as in a crotch rocket), my skis, have a job as a State Trooper and live in a place like Cadillac. I want to be part of the MCCCT club and live close enough to the trails so I can ride in the summer and be near "mountains" so I ski in the winter. That's it.

Dude, my motorcycle is so much fun. Once you get over the fear factor, you realize there was a lot out there you missed. Without the bone crushing, viser breaking, "awe shit" crashes, I don't think I would've had as much fun as I did last weekend. I pushed and realized, shit that wasn't that hard. Granted I did come out of it with a hurt wrist but I experienced somin so awesome and I wanta do again sooooo bad. i mean shit, I always get hurt when I jump off my bike after riding 65 miles, but this was different yo. This was cool. Fact is, even though I expected to get hurt, the pain fades but from what I can remember (helmet issue--hahaha--ooh that wasn't funny.....see?!) it was so...so freakin smooth. Ice Ice baby chikaaa chikaaa.....

Cap--we so have to go to Weber Lake!

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

So much for hiding behind a smile.
Name the song

Song #1
"Forward yesterday
Makes me want to stay
What they said was real
Makes me want to steal
Livin under house
Guess I'm livin, I'm a mouse
All's I gots is time
Got no meaning, just a rhyme"

Song #2
"The way you're bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you're all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweety, come to me
come to me."

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

Another Letter--this is so cute. I love my sister

wad up quackie?
"Do your feet get cold in the winter time? The sky
won't snow and the sun won't shine. It's hard to tell
the night from the daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy."


i have two tests tommarro. mom and i r going to the
Cider mill this week some time. i'll try to save u a
donut or what ever. i have mom's EGALES CD. she
doesn't know it yet. (says jokingly)-hey are you comin
home this weekend? you won't get your donut if you
don't!!!

ttyl
your sister

Monday, October 01, 2001

Something popped into my head today as I walked to my Philosophy lab. A little bird reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a long time ago and suddenly it all made sense.

I'm speechless.

I can't afford the West. My hope's of traveling have now almost faded and it's so sad. One simple truth, one seemingly insignificant conversation, and I'm stumbling backwards losing my footing on every step. Forgive me if I seem inhibited for the next few days.