Funniest Thing I've read in a long time
Sometimes it’s better if you don’t ask questions. I made the mistake of asking my girlfriend if I looked fat in my new jeans. She said ‘No’, but I could tell she was lying. Women - I’m beginning to wonder why it is I am attracted to them in the first place; they’re practically good for nothing. When was the last time your woman did something nice for you?
They leave the toilet seat down, which is almost impossible to lift, they sit around all day and watch soap opera’s, and they take us nowhere! The whole thing just makes me want to have a good cry.
Why can’t women understand where we’re coming from? Is it too much to ask to hear the words ‘I love you, honey’ once in a while? I don’t think so; I think I deserve that kind of affection.
You know the saying ‘If I had breasts I’d never leave the house’? Well I do have breasts, they’re attached to my girlfriend, and I run from the house daily. If it’s not one thing it’s another. ‘Do this, do that, clean this, cook that,’ it’s enough to drive a man crazy. I have to shave everyday to please my girlfriend, and it’s never enough.
All the really great women are gay anyway
-Posted by Fried