Monday, December 30, 2002

Two months and one day -- the countdown begins.

damn people have to work tomorrow. most of them should not work for the next two days. except for police officers and liquor store attendants, they have to stay on duty; proudly serving the public for peace and merry drunkeness. but that's it. people working for discount tire, blockbuster, food dance, papa johns, grand rapids single dances, and other silly places should not be obligated to work. now that would just be silly. i feel silly. silly silly silly....that's a great word...silly...ha.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

As you may notice, tis the day before Christmas. I should be participating in the magnificent tradition of fast and preparation for the birth of the Christian Messiah, reciting prayers like the Hail Mary, Our Father...Notre Pere..(I know it better in french thanks to high school - much appreciated Madame Goodman) or Almighty God, and singing O Holy Night and Silent Night. Buuuuuttt nope, I have to go downtown to finish roof inspections on a building that is more than 100,000 square feet. Dah. At least I might have more money in the account next semester. Time to go. Later.

Friday, December 20, 2002

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste some time with you

Thursday, December 19, 2002

This is almost surreal

To start, I came back from a spectacular vacation in Steamboat, CO. We flew out of Detroit last Thursday afternoon and landed in Denver en route to see my aunt (from my dads side) and her new little boys, Jack and Tyler. My dad rented a Windstar of which he realized later, couldn't possibly fit all 8 bags and 6 people - so he rented a 15 passenger was nice, we all got our own seat for the drive downtown. Greeting my aunt with hugs and kisses that were far passed overdue, we were introduced to my 7 month old cousins and some (mmmmm) pizza. I attached to Jack...I couldn't help it, he was so adorable :-) I mean who could give him up when he falls asleep in your arms? Anyway - so after an hour or so, we headed out for the two hour drive to Steamboat (at 11pm CO time) but not before we had ample warning from my aunt that our car was rumored to be difficult to control in bad weather. ha.

I was so tired but I couldn't sleep...bout every 3 seconds Adam would brake for Elk. I felt like a zombie, staring out the window drooling cause I can't stay awake and I can't sleep. As we creeped into the valley of Steamboat Springs, we turned pale with shock. My dad and brother switched driving bout halfway through and I'm certainly glad they did. What looked like a pack of Elk ran into the dad slammed on the brakes, swerved to the left - putting the bus on three wheels, then swerved back to the right - nearly slaughtering at least one Elk, then catching himself and driving on. In the midst of the 4 second chaos, I grabbed the skis before they nailed my mom in the head, hurting my elbow. The pain subsided though as we all exhaled in bewilderment.

The next few days weren't as eventful however, but definitely not boring either. All three ski-able days were a beautiful 30-40 degrees, sunny but still powdery, and overall gorgeous weekend. I know 30 degrees doesn't sound warm but when you're wearing 4 layers of clothing - it's pretty damn hot. One bummer though, not all of the lifts and runs were open, so if you wanted to venture out to the double blacks (black diamond - expert), you had to settle for the lower - reachable by a combination of other hills - half, or you could go ole' skool and hike the two peaks (with the lift open you only had to hike one small hill). I decided against it, recalling 5 years ago when Adam and his friend Brian made me hike em both; cause that was the only way to get there and they liked fresh fresh powder. So Dave and I decided to do something called ROLEX the entire weekend and the lower half of the double blacks.

Ok, if you ever encounter a run called ROLEX or THREE OCLOCK or OOPS yea, don't even give it a second thought - just walk away JUST WALK AWAY. We video taped our venture, well at least Dave's venture, down Rolex. I must admit, the tape is funny but I'm not doing it again without skiing a few weekends before Steamboat. Yea ok, I'm a good skiier - I used to race in high school and I've been carving since I was able to walk - but hell if I'm putting myself through that pain again. I used ski every year, then after I stopped playing soccer, I realized that if you haven't been working out before you go - you're not gonna be able to jump/turn like you used to. Those bumps (mogules) were hard and brutal. I fell twice and then some guy told me that I was looking pretty good before I fell the second time - so I felt I was on a show - so I fell again :-). Good thing I didn't get on camera - cause the second time was a dooozey. I flipped and stabbed my skis into the snow, so that my legs were bent with my feet underneath my butt. I couldn't move for a couple minutes cause I couldn't figure out how to uncross my skis and pull them out of the ground without falling backwards down a sttteeeep run. Whew.

We left Steamboat and headed back to the Denver airport early Monday morning. We would've like to see my uncle (from my mothers side) but my mom forgot to tell him an ETA so we missed him. It was alright though, we were pressed for time anyway. We got to the airport, returned our bus, got on the plane, and slept the whole 2.5 hour flight. My dad is so cute...he reached back into our row and grabbed my mom's hand because he gets nervous on flights. It was cute. :-) I am so glad to be in Detroit now though. I have worked so hard to be sane for the last few weeks and that vacation rescued me from the brink. Now that I'm back, I can concentrate on Christmas and making money.

Ah and for the title of this blog. It still hasn't sunk in yet - I got the highest GPA in my ENTIRE school career this past semester. I got a 3.9. I can't believe that is on my transcript now, it just doesn't seem real. whoa.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Welcome to Hell week

1. took notes on chapters 9-16 in french for a total of 8-9 hours
2. read 9 chapters of mus152 and memorized 60 different songs/artists and what major events happened in music over the last 50 years.
3. reviewed specific laws in Michigan and memorized all.....example, the difference and strict definition of Involuntary manslaughter vs. First Degree Murder vs. negligent homicide with felonious assault
4. read and took notes for 484 pages of juvenile delinquency -- pages 194-484 within the last two days totalling over 10 hours...
5. will begin to study 80 listed subjects in criminal process for a 10am test tomorrow morning....

there's nothing like listening to your roommate scream "i'm done!!!" while knowing you still have two more to go. :-( don't hate me if I end up in a mental institution.

Monday, December 09, 2002

Kelly Osborne? Joan Jett? I think we have a match ladies and gentlemen. :-)

Friday, December 06, 2002

Sorry bout the previous entries, I had a really bad day yesterday. I'm tryin to keep myself up though, but the pressure's still hangin over my head...I just feel like I'm in this huge cardboard box and I don't know which way is up............on a better note, I think I might start goin to church again.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

I have a feeling she and I won't be as close as we used to be. It's ok, she's got other things to do, I'm not as worried as I thought I would be. Just feeling a bit of a loss I guess, and a little alone. It was a great run though, maybe one day I'll get to tell her.
breath and stop. breath and stop. breath and stop. no more breath left. eyes close. rest. stop.

don't you see that the charade is over. don't you see? don't you see? I heard about your regrets, I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.

i'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers i'll be alright when my hands get warm. ignoring the past - you're calling to late - get rid of what you remember - forget - why did i do this to me?

Sunday, December 01, 2002

It smells of exploding batteries and toast in my room right now. Odd combo. Anyway, so I was thinking about something interesting earlier tonight but I am failing to remember what exactly I I'll just write until I think of it. I watched Black Hawk Down last night and I thought it was a good movie. As Robbie explained to me the next morning - it was an accurate portrayal of the longest gun fight/fuck up in US Marine history....I guess I can't really greatly appreciate something that utterly confuses me. Moreover, something that displays an obvious plot of A vs. B but gives you a half a million people to recognize and remember throughout the movie. I enjoyed the story but there wasn't really any character development with the exception of well ... no, no exceptions; they were all just tired at the end. Oh wait maybe the general guy -- after 19 Rangers/pilots were killed in an unauthorized raid he pursued. Ah and I remember what I originally wanted to talk about...I was shoveling the driveway yesterday and I thought about New Years '02. Ryan and I came up here a couple days before New Years Eve. My truck surprisingly plowed through the thick snow on the driveway, millimeters from the top of my wheelwell's. Ryan and I cleared a path for Jon then all of us spent practically all night shoveling the driveway, over and over again. Finally new Years Eve. I think about who I saw there. Jon, Ryan, Rob, Laura, Jess, Paul, Laura, Tre, Joe, JoeD, Yerty, Bryan, .......I can't remember anymore....I thought about what could've been.....remember how chaotic it was? Kinda funny really....but what I remember the most is that I thought this year would basically, well really, I thought it would suck my butt. however, it actually didn't turn out to be half bad.

What's different from last year:
1. With the exception of Sarah, who Jen and I contacted/met through email, I knew who I was moving in with.
2. Jen works a lot more and we spend a lot less time together. - btw i'm sad about that :-(
3. I know Dana and Paul a LOT better than just knowing them because they lived down the hall.
4. I actually KNOW my neighbors :-)
5. I have dark brown hair this year.
6. I've been dating someone for 8 months -- holy schnikes that's a hella long time.
7. I'm gonna turn 21 in T-3 months exactly.
8. Because of my punk loving boyfriend, I've become a Fenix Tx/Something Corporate/Good Charlotte/Ataris/Finch/NOFX junkie.
9. My family is accusing me of corrupting my little frosh cousin -- which is entirely NOT true, I did not make her do a keg stand...she did it all by herself :-)
10. I actually have money this year.
11. I met 4 cj majors - toni (who is also in my fren101 class), cindy, pat("the lamp"), and coryden("laura croft").
12. Karin is back! Wahoo! :-)
13. I'm going to Steamboat at the end of Finals week in December.
14. I found out I have to take 18 credits a semester next year to graduate in April.
15. I haven't been to the hospital more than once. :-)
16. I feel smart.
17. I live in a house.

Ok I'm done. :-) Enjoy the rest of the year!!!!

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Vos Reves

Dors-tu, mon enfant, pour tu es seulement ce soir.
n'as-tu pas besoin de remuer, pas besoin de te revieller, tu seras dans les bras de Dieu pour tout les anges voir.
Pour tu seras seulement sur la terre mais jamais dans vos reves.


(sleep, my child, for you are alone tonight.
you need not stir, you need not awake, you will be in the arms of God for all the angels to see.
for you will be alone on earth (the land - literal translation) but never in your dreams.)

Sunday, November 24, 2002

To you, from me

Don't worry
I'll catch you,
Don't worry
I'll catch you,
Don't ever worry

Your arms in mine, anytime
Wouldn't trade anything,
You're still my everything
To my surprise,
Before my eyes,
You've arrived

Still breaking old habits, habits
You pulled the wool over me,
I can see everything, everything
Just remembering

Don't worry
I'll catch you,
Don't worry
I'll catch you,
Don't ever worry

No need for reminding,
You're still all that matters to me.....

Saturday, November 23, 2002

Today is good day -- I feel like singing !

Billy Ray was a preacher's son
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along
When they gathered around and started talkin'
That's when Billy would take me walkin'
Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'
Then he'd look into my eyes
Lord knows, to my surprise

The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was

Bein' good isn't always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin' to me
He'd come'n tell me "Everything is all right"
He'd kiss and tell me "Everything is all right"
Can I get away again tonight?

The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was

How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes
Stealin' kisses from me on the sly
Takin' time to make time
Tellin' me that he's all mine
Learnin' from each other's knowin'
Lookin' to see how much we've grown and

The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, oh yes he was

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Live at Winterland 1968


"I live in a daze...and I can't change and I can't wake up!...don't know what to say -- something strange that I can't make up" (Treble Charger)
"when you wake up in the mornin and it's a quarter to four and you think you hear a knock on your door ..." (Raffi)
"Tuesday shoot me in the head... I'm taking it back, I'm taking it back...I'll take it back.." (STP)


"responsibility what's that...responsibility not quite yet..." (MxPx)
"I don't think I'm gonna make it...punch in i'm still the clock but it's not moving....I feel like I'm living the worst day over and over again"(Simple Plan)
"What can i say...i'll bite my tongue again today.."(Ataris)
"and I swear it's the last time....and we'll walk in circles..." (Less Than Jake)
"So it's over now finally... I'm beneath...and I'm crawling out...on my knees" (Trust Company)
"going to see him when the sun goes down...I want candy...I want candy..." (Bangles)


"I'm always workin slavin everyday...I need a chance just to get away...don't need nothin but a good time" (Poison)
"So I settled down at Kelly's pub...and told the boys the story and we had another round....we'll drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and fight...."(Dropkick Murphy's)
"and the night never ends...what are we gonna do?...." (Thursday)
"well...think about you all the and one equals me and you" (Autopilot Off)
"i...I just died in your arms musta been somethin you said..." (Cutting Crew)


"tryin to get away into the night....I think we're alone now...there doesn't seem to be anyone around now...the beating of our hearts is the only sound now...."(Tiffany)
"I hope that he turns out to my heart he carries the key...someone who'll watch over me.."(Etta James)
"restin my bones..." (Ottis Redding)
"She dreams in digital ... it seems unreal...she's dreaming in digital.." (Orgy)

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Some chicky's Bio

saying: when life hands you a lemon - just shut up and eat the damn lemon

Saturday, November 09, 2002

see all those people on the ground
wasting time
i try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

On My Own
Get me a dream

I'm tired of being independent but i hate the way some things hold me back. I'm tired of being here, doing nothing, constantly stuck in the same place seeing no light at the end of the tunnel but I hate moving. I'm tired of opening doors for myself but I hate how I have to make an effort. I'm tired of feeling on top of things but I hate knowing there's things to do. I'm tired of being blown off, told no, looking at homework, taking quizzes.....i'm tired of being the only one I can really depend on. I'm with someone but I feel alone sometimes...when I'm sitting in my room staring at a screen... my life isn't in chaos...I'm on top of my life and it's so lonely. Sometimes I just wish I could take a break from being JML - for one day - just be someone else.....

Friday, November 08, 2002

On a brighter but less-juicey note

I had a dream last night that I was in the Marines with some guy that I knew but I don't remember who it was. We drove to two meetings on two different nights. The first one, we were late so the Marine Corps didn't let us in. In the second one, we took forever to get dressed cause everything had to be perfect, I mean down to the ankle cuffs. I was having trouble adjusting my belt and the pins on my green coat jacket wouldn't stay straight. Now that I think about it, the coats are blue with a white belt when the Marines are on show but I think at the end of BT they wear green. Anyway, so finally we were dressed perfectly and saluting ranking officers but for some reason they wouldn't let us stay long at the second place. As we left, disappointed, the evening turned into black night then I woke up to Pat knocking on my door telling me it's time to go.

This morning Pat knocked on my door and asked if I would be ready to go to court. I got dressed, rather formally, taking to the carefullest detail of my outfit. All black, it was easy, just a sweater and pants and jen's shoes if I could find them. Ran downstairs, found the shoes, and hopped in the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I grabbed my wallet and law notes and asked Pat if he was ready. We missed Gull road and had to backtrack a bit and Pat was worried we wouldn't get there on time but I didn't mind. We got there, walked through security, and headed to the front desk. We were directed to the two rooms downstairs. We tried the first but we couldn't get in, we were three minutes late.....the second was open but only lasted a half hour, but understandably, it was only a review hearing. On our way home, we stopped by Pat's then back to my house. Sara started a movie and I relaxed on the couch.

I swear to you blog I did not fabricate any part of this story; signed: Jack
Ok no. You have to hear this. So you remember my little debacle with the Post Office - in that they didn't send my credit card payments to my credit card companies thus costing me 1 late payment, $80 in stop payment fees, and not to mention INSOMNIA? Well, curious me, I'm interested in the Miles One card from Capital One - my credit company. So upon discovery of an online application, after reading through the details, I had a question about transfers and balances. I decided to call and as the automated voice message informed me that I had a balance of 58 cents I began to wonder. I talked to a customer service rep and asked her about my account....don't get me wrong, if someone paid my bill for me I'd be more than happy but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Apparently the bank (capital one) received my checks and posted them to my account. Wouldn't you be dumbfounded by that statement? I grinned and told the woman on the phone that I'd sent the f-ing letters out on the 14th of October - nearly a month ago. She said that now I have to monitor both my credit account and my bank account to make sure that they don't F up in the next few business days....if my bank allows those checks to be cashed and the money is withdrawled from my account I swear I will never do business with that bank again - although by law, because there was a stop payment on those checks it's my bank's responsibility to take care of their mistake......who knows blog...we will see in due time.

Monday, November 04, 2002

I have nothing this week. No real tests or homework, nothing. On another note, my voice is fading. Life is good. :-)
If only I could've said it a long time ago.

If I had just one tear running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery would be well spent

Yeah.... Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I 'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine

Give it up baby
I hear your goodbye
Nothins goin save me
I can see it it your eyes
Some kind of heartache
Darlin give it a try
I dont want pity
I just want what is mine

Sunday, November 03, 2002

I love the haunted house we built for Joey. It makes for tastey halloween memorabilia...i think I might put it in the basement at some point for our basement gnomes. My porch is really sticky. I mean reallly really REALLY sticky and I haven't cleaned it yet. S also asked me to get a new sponge thing for the mop too but I didn't do that. I feel bad, I should go do something. I don't want her to come home and think she has to do it, cause she's done a lot already. I'm gonna go clean for her. That's funny, I don't really care myself cause I've been out there twice in the last two days - but I'll do it so that she doesn't feel that she has to. I'm glad I live with other people. They give me motivation. :-)
Yea I remember Friday night. :-)

Saturday, November 02, 2002

Well the party was great. Our neighbors showed up(from both sides) and partied with us....I had so much alcohol it nearly put me in the hospital....I don't know why my arm hurts soo bad...I wish Paul didn't have to go to work...I'm so tired but I can't sleep because I can't breathe....I'm seriously about to go to Meijer abou that although I'm not in a decent condition to drive......I remember trying to talk to Nick on AIM but not being able to see the letters on the keyboard correctly then all of a sudden Nick and Ben were here...People are passed out fact one's right outside my door...Dana was all over everyone last night but that's ok I was too ( I love you Paul) .... I only wish I could breathe right now...

Monday, October 28, 2002

All in all I've gotten 24 hours worth of sleep in the last two nights. Maybe that's why It's 2 minutes to 4am and I'm not tired at all. I really want to be tired. I have to wake Jen up in like two hours and 45minutes. Come on, why can't I be tired!??!! Derrrrrrr

Saturday, October 26, 2002

remember to breathe and everything will be ok.

I sucked in a deep breathe this morning and scanned over my desk. The various glasses, sticky with dried cranberry juice, Mountain Dew, coffee, were placed in a semi-neat circle in the corner. Frozen in that state between sleep and awake, I found Pickle, who I was so forced to let in this morning, standing next to my glasses. As I stood attempting to absorb that I'm about to pay for my mistake of letting her in, all four glasses came crashing to the floor, along with a small translucent box. Breaking open as it hit the floor, every single push pin that was inside of it, was thrown 5 inches in every direction. I rolled my eyes and gave Pickle a frustrated look. She stared back at me with her adorable little round black eyes so I picked her up, kissed her on the head, and hurled her onto my bed. But as I knelt down to grab the pins, one wonderful moment lifted me back up into the light of the morning. There was a paper lying underneath the box that read : "-be around next week, [caseworker] is gonna call" ---- I get my match next week, I'm a Big Sister. :-)

Friday, October 25, 2002

i'm gonna cry
Word for today = HAVOC

I went online today to browse....then I went to my credit card statments and I found out that none of my payments went through. Ok, jackie's gettin a little nervous......I sent them on the 14th and they still didn't arrive.....scary thing is that I sent out payments for two ebay items at the same time and I just recieved both items in the mail. I called my credit card companies and as it turns out, the payment will remain delinquent because I didn't call within two days of my payment due date. Thank God it's just one credit card that was late but FUCK it's one credit card THAT WAS LATE. I registered online and made payments to all three, but I don't know what to do about the checks. How could all three, with my credit card#, address, and signature, all be lost in the mail? Should I wait to see if they go through? That would mean this month I paid out $1300 in bills --- Or should I cancel the checks which would cost me $78 in stop payment fees? Damnit what do i do? what do I do? I need to talk to my mom but she's in Arizona!!!!! Help!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!

Thursday, October 24, 2002

YEs. Today is the first day I can honestly say for the first time in two weeks, I'm not worried about what's due or I'm not trying to finish something that's due. All I have today is one class, that's it. Then welcome weekend!

Yesterday, I really felt like an adult. I'm apportioning funds so that I can make it possible to buy a Brand New CRF150 2003 First Edition (;a dirt bike). I've been anticipating this bike's arrival since I first heard of it, back in June/July and I'm so excited. I finally started talking to a sales guy at M&M Motor Mall up on Sprinkle and Lake, and he called me on Tuesday to tell me it's on the lot but not on the floor yet. I told him I'd stop by on Wednesday to see it. As it turns out, he took a personal day off work and I didn't get to talk to him. I think I would have rather talked to him though then the other guy but that's ok I'll talk to him again soon. The other guy brought me back to see the bike, LIVE IN PERSON. Tell you what -- woooweee -- it's a good lookin bike! I got to sit on it, and the inch difference between the bike that I have now and this one, is no big deal at all. I shifted it from side to side and noticed it was sooo much lighter. It's like a car guy getting a 454, or a computer guy getting a 60gig-394M-T3connection-flatscreen-surround sound-+all others included computer, or a Southpark fan finally getting the Scott Tenorman episode on DVD.........hhhuuuuuhhhhh I feel like Homer "Beeeerrr guhuuuuuhhhhhhhh" CRF150 guuuuhhhhhhuuuhhhhhh :-)

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

"Duh........PUNK" -PDub
I studied last night until 2:15am. I woke up this morning at 10am and started studying again until 3pm. And all I can think about right now is "I....I just diiieeed in your arms tonight...." AHHHHHHHH.

Sunday, October 20, 2002

"From this conflict comes penis envy and the girl's wish to become a boy. Penis envy often produces an inferiority complex in girls, for them to make an effort to compenstate for their "defect".......girls may become narcissistic and attempt to compenstate for their lack of a penis by dressing well and beautifying themselves."

I hate this book.
"On My Own"

see all those people on the ground
wasting time
i try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

On My Own

Thursday, October 17, 2002

It is so hot in my room right now. you could cook an egg on my desk THATS HOW HOT IT IS IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW. wooooooooooooooo.
I see it. It is all clear.

Reagan = ALOTT FUNDS $$$ TO DEA = promote drug crackdown on "crack" = promote forfeit laws = police obtain money cause of drug laws and forfeit laws = rich people can afford minimum of forfeit = poor people go to jail and losing assets = longer sentences for leverage for payment = GOVERNMENT MAKES MO MONEY

HA I understand now. That's the real reason you aren't humanistic. Ah and that's why you like being "tough on crime". You are a money bitch. MONEY BITCH MONEY BITCH MONEY BITCH. MUAHHH HAHHAHAHA HAHAH (cough) (cough) HAHAHHAHAHA

Monday, October 14, 2002

I have obtained the answer to all political theoreitcal questions I have previously possessed.

"relative maximum of freedom" (Weber 1978:811)

Oh ma god.
Trust Company

Fear in me so deep it gets the best of me,
In the fear I fall, here it comes face to face with me,
Here I stand hold back so no one can see,
I feel these wounds, step down, step down,
step down.

(am I) Breaking Down
Can I break away
Push me away, make me fall,
Just to see, another side of me,
Push me away, you can see,
what I see, the other side of me.

Fall back on me, and I’ll be the strength I need,
to save me now, just come face to face with me,
stay in place you'll be the first to see, me heal these wounds,
step down, step down, step down, down

I’m not breaking, down
can I break away
push me away, make me fall,
just to see another side of me,
push me away you can see,
what I see, the other side of me
i am lost in the crowd
i'm standing in line
i'm feeling so down
and i am full of doubt

Sunday, October 13, 2002

sometimes i wish i was brave
i wish i was stronger
i wish i could feel no pain

cause i feel so mad
i feel so angry
i feel so callous
so lost, confused


Some days i sit
staring out the window
watchin this world pass me by
sometimes i think there's nothing to live for
i almost break down and cry

sometimes i think I'm crazy
why am i here
am I just wastin my time

but then i see my baby
suddenly i'm not crazy
it all makes sense when I look into his eyes

sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
everyone's leaning on me
sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
but then he comes back to me.


if everything would go my way
when the pain inside would go away
I could live my life again
it never seems to end


The word for tonight is FRUSTRATED - particularly with school.

Friday, October 11, 2002

So I'm studying today......and I found out that I hate this juvenile deliquency book. Three reasons: A. "Racial disparity in the justice system has been linked to the fear Caucasians have of young black men." B. "Whites believe that African Americans are responsible for their own inferior economic status because of their cultural traits." C. "Racial disparity has been linked to the onset of delinquency and drug abuse." this book was published in 2001 by the way. The book does not even deserve to put CRIMINAL JUSTICE on it's cover.

A & C. No. Do not make a bold generalization, EVER. Young black males are overrepresented in the system, about 4:1 to be exact (I may be wrong on this but I believe the American American population is 13% in this country) The truth is, one can never know the exact number of juveniles breaking law, but when you combine Victim Surveys, UCR, and National Crime Survey - there is hard evidence that Juvenile delinquency is blind to race, ethnicity, gender ect. Therefore you're making a link between race and drug abuse/delinquency that doesn't technically exist. Wrongass.
B. This book was published in 2001, not 1960 when that may have been true. Do you seriously think that white people look at black people and say "well theyre poor because of their culture."? And white"culture" is wealthy? Not all white people are affluent, not all black people are indigent. Not all white people think that african Americans, much less anyone, are particularly responsible for their economic status. What about underfunded schools? Lack of education=lack of high paying job. What about family life? I'm responsible for keeping my parents together? Or responsible for them breaking up? You're saying that white people think juveniles are responsible for that? THAT'S LUDACRIS. DO NOT ASSUME. assume ass.
for the first time in a couple of weeks i'm drunk. Wow. I wish Charlie was here. Charlie where are you? I need you to be here!

Thursday, October 10, 2002

Ah it's 230am. When did 1am go? I looked at the clock, I swear, like 10 minutes ago and it was 1am. Stupid clock. :-)

Thursday, October 03, 2002

I know what I'm gonna be for Halloween. YES.

By the way -- Party, Halloween, MUST HAVE COSTUME, Friday November 1st, in the village, be there. Love ya!

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

I love music. I'm starting to enjoy punk, I've always loved classic rock, I wish I could sing with Tony Bennet - Muddy Waters - or Fats Domino, I like hip hop, I think there's hope for country, and I really dig electronica. Greatest evening in the world ---a little wine - a little candlelight - and a little Nat King Cole.

Sunday, September 29, 2002

one two three and to the four
snoop doggy dog and dr dre is at da door

my hair is soaked, I just woke up from a 2 hour nap, it's late Sunday afternoon, and I have no homework done. Life is good.

like this that and this and uh
it's like that and like this and like that and uh
so just chill to the next episode.

Thursday, September 26, 2002

I had a disheartening couple of hours last night but I think I'm ok this morning. Jen and I are takin a trip back to Detroit this afternoon to hang out with Ryan and wish luck to my old high school football team. Then, we'll head back here and read page after page of work that should've been done last week. On Sunday, I'm going to make an effort to go over to P-Dub's and change my oil, then stop by Nickoli's to check out his new place. I'm still feeling a little dismal but hopefully that'll change within the next few hours. Jen - I'm making a note to stop by and see my friend Claire at the YWCA. Thank you for the card, I love you too.

Saturday, September 21, 2002

You know I've been cleaning up after this roofing company since I was 11; back when the office was off of Helen Ave. in Detroit. I cleaned in Novi and in Oak Park......I've been doing it weekly for the past 4 years 7 months. This is what's happened to me so far:

I've been accused of stealing $200 from a petty cash box that is......tell me again where I found the box??....wait...oh yea that was your accounting error. Wait hmmmm....what else have I been accused of from the people upstairs? Oh! Oh! Pick me! I know! I've been told I threw away a box with clothes in it! Yea! And when I responded "No I don't believe I did ma'am", they decided to look into the back dumpster anyway (I chuckled when I first heard that). Ahh and when they didn't find it, they decided that, naturally, it must have been me. Hold up....oh yea...the woman did take it home didn't she? Oops....I hope the cleaning person doesn't think we're assholes! Then on certain occasions, particularly when my sister wants to pay for a horse show, I get booted. Now this is great --- this company, in the last 4 years 7months, has never had to worry about the office being cleaned every week. No one has had to ask, no one has had to worry, the office is always done no matter what. Then all of a sudden, I get a call and it sounds something like this. "Jillian is cleaning the office this week." Oh really? She is, is she? Well I didn't really need money to pay for rent, bills, and credit debt anyway. By god, she needs to go to a horse show. Oh yea and in the future, feel free to give my job to someone else without telling me whenever you feel necessary --- I don't deserve respect, I've only worked here for 4 years. Then, oh I love this, because I didn't wipe the legs on two desks, in two different offices, I'm told I do a horrible job. Because I didn't pick up a rock on the foyer stairs, I must not have vacuumed the foyer. Because I didn't pick up a penny in the bathroom, that means I never get down on my hands and kness and clean the bathroom floor. Because it takes me an hour and forty five minutes to clean the entire office instead of 2 and a half, that means I didn't do a good enough job. Because I have a friend in town, I'm never going to get to the office to clean so we better do it for you and then yell at you for it. So what is it this week? I stole a chair or I'm incompetent because I didn't pick up a paper clip? I should just leave. Let my parents deal with driving David and Jillian here every weekend. Maybe then I'll hear the first token of appreciation for this job they've ever given me. Then again, maybe not.

Oh god that felt good to get out. Back to work.

Thursday, September 05, 2002

Jon said I need to update. So I'm updating. My classes are seemingly impossible to four point without some sort of pill that will give me brilliance in Common Law. So I've decided to sit idly by and watch my career sink into a hole, melt in lava and become, in every respect, nonexistant. Well, maybe not. I don't know. I'm still debating. :-)

P.s -- my roommate needs attention. She is balancing a pillow over her head right now. She wants me to say that I love my roommate. I love my roommate. Look at me I'm a monkey. ooo ooo ooo aaa aaa aaa.

Monday, August 26, 2002

why do I have this thing; this blog?
This place feels like a Coliseum.
I can hear the nauseating echo's of my own voice.
The stone feels cold.
No one is here.
I'm tired..
Maybe I'll watch from atop the last step for a while.
constant rambles

I totally forgot about that.....sorry Jofish....I meant to grab you some cash from my truck for the nacho's.....I'll give you a couple-a-bucks when I get back.....sorry dude...So I was reading EZ MC's blog (the link is conveniently located to your right) and I thought I might add something. I was neither constipated nor drenched with pee -- I just....damn it now you got me all self conscious....nevermind I don't want to add anything anymore.

My sister went to school today. I can't believe it. It's her sophomore year in high school. Holy backpacks --- that's crazy! She's gonna be gradumacated in three years. Scary old woman thought: "my baby sister, who used to play with barbies-wear cute little blond baby pig tails-and dance around in her pink overalls, is going to college....I remember when my mom brought her home from the hospital -- dave and I invited everyone in the neighborhood to see I feel old"

Bum, Yert and I we talkin about getting old the other day. Yert was like "dude don't you feel old? Like I look at people's license and it says '85 -- just wait till it says '90" Ok maybe that wasn't exactly what he said but you get my point. Can you image '90 though? Kids will be driving who were born in 1990. 1990 That's so weird.

Sunday, August 25, 2002

Ok it's sunday and I should be working but I have to get this out. I almost died today. I was coming home from Grayling and just after Holly, on I-75, I was on a bridge that curved to the left. I took the bridge at 70mph in the right lane, and my truck hit a couple of apparently LARGE potholes. It fishtailed to the right --- I was heading straight for the left lane --- I moved back to the right --- it fishtailed again to the left --- I was heading towards the wall --- I moved a little bit back to the left and straightened out. I didn't know whether to pull over or keep going, so I kept going. I picked up the phone and the first one on my list was Ry's cell phone. This is the conversation that followed : "Tell me everythings ok....tell me everythings ok" I mean, I know I wasn't gonna crash cause I can fishtail on a bike and not fall but holy hot dogs I wasn't sure that time.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Ahhh Clapton

If you wanna hang out you've got to take her out; cocaine.
If you wanna get down, down on the ground; cocaine.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine.

If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; cocaine.
When your day is done and you wanna run; cocaine.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine.

If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine.
Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back; cocaine.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine.
I'm all about the lyrics this week:-)
George Strait

If there's a plane or a bus leaving [Detroit]
I hope you're on it....
There's a train movin fast down the tracks
I hope you called it....

Cause I swear out there ain't where you outta be
So caught a ride catch a cab
Don't you know I miss you bad
But don't you walk to me

Baby run....
Cut a path across the blue skies
Straight in a straight line you can't get here fast enough
Find a truck and fire it up, lean on the gas and off the clutch
Leave [Detroit] in the dust
I need you in a rush
So baby run

If you ain't got a suitcase get a box or an old brown paper sack
Pack it light, pack it heavy
Take a truck, take a chevy
Baby just come back....
There's a short cut to the highway out of town
Why don't you take it....
Dont' let that speed limit slow you down
Go on and break it

Baby run
Cut a path across the blue skies
Straight in a straight line you can't get here fast enough
Find a truck and fire it up, lean on the gas and off the clutch
Leave [Detroit] in the dust
I need you in a rush
So baby run

I went to see the Goo Goo Dolls last night with a couple of friends. They're not really a band I would die to see but nonetheless, I was with my buddies so I had a good time. My dad had 4 tickets and no one at the office wanted them, so I told him I'd take em. It was cool -- we got the VIP parking pass so we parked real close. Yea. ugh. It's too early to be typing. Be back in an hour.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002


I know it's only wednesday, but I'm really excited for this weekend. Tomorrow night I'm heading back to Kzoo then Saturday morning - I'm driving up north to go camping with my dad. Finally....Jack will be back on the trails! Wahoo!'s officially the last weekend of summer for me. It's kinda sad that I'm moving from here, but I don't think I could stay any longer. I'm so bored. Not the kinda bored like "you have nothing to do but hang out" bored..........The kinda bored like "you're stuck in a room for 3 months" bored. Yea. If I had to do this for the rest of my life, I would keel over at 25. I'm ready to graduate, well maybe not quite yet but soon, and get out into the world, have some responsibility, find out what I'm really good at, finish law school and have my own life. Ugh, I just want this next week to hurry up so I can get back to school.

Monday, August 19, 2002

Falling in Love with You

Say it's true
there's nothing like me & you
I'm not alone
tell me you feel it too

And I would runaway....
I would runaway yea......
I would runaway.....
I would runaway with you..

Cause I.....
I'm falling in love with you
No I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you

Close the door
lay upon the floor
and by candlelight
make love to me through the night

And I would runaway
I would runaway yea
I would runaway
I would runaway with you

Cause I...
I'm falling in love with you
No I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you...........

Friday, August 16, 2002

Isn't it funny?

Isn't it great when an experience can be summed up by one or two words? Let's try some on for size......





July 4




Shrek Ears

Sweet huh?

Thursday, August 15, 2002

I finished my sewing, I got my table. Now I have to get the trailer, get my furniture, go to the bank, polish my table, load the trailer, go to a different bank, talk to an insurance company, buy acryllic, buy storage bins, blah blah blah blah.......................................then drive to Kzoo and be there before 9pm.

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

I am sewing again tonight! Wahoooo! And and and, I'm going to pick up my table after work today too. Hopefully, everything will be ready to go on Friday---I am so ready to move back. I can't deal with this stress crap anymore. I'm ready to go back to class, do hours upon hours of homework/study and go to class all day. Yeesss!

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Why do we pay actors so much money? No really. We pay firemen, police officers, and EMT's close to $30grand a year to run into burning buildings, bite a bullet, and help fix minor to serious injuries. And we pay some actors, like Vin Diesel for example, 10 million dollars for one 2 hour film. Their lives are not threatened and they don't have to deal with smoke inhalation, other people's marital problems, or blood and guts everyday. I'm not saying actors' lives aren't difficult, because I imagine its gotta be nearly impossible to have a normal life and be famous, but really the wealth or quality of their lives doesn't even hold a candle to that of a fireman, cop or EMT.

For Policemen:
I think instead of campaigning to waste our limited state budget by reinstating the death penalty (a retroactive solution), we should instead spend that alotted cash on improving police-community relations, increase their pay, and give our underfunded schools a little relief (a proactive solution). I mean come on, we'd be more willing to pay an average of 2.3 million for individual trial/appeal cases (remember -- manadatory state reviews, state DA/PD personnel, no dispostion through a plea, etc.) than appreciate those who save people they don't even know from dying. Have you ever looked at the number's from George doubleya Bush's home town? Death penalty sentences went from about 1000 in 1990 to a little over 3500 in 2000. It's like saying "Hey guys. Look, you remember the guy that shot your buddy? Yea we're gonna spend a million dollars of your money and kill him. Wait but here's the good part, we ran out of cash so we're gonna take a little bit more out of your pay check/pension, people are still gonna hate you and want to kill you, and oh yea, good job the other night on saving that woman from a beating from her alcoholic, deadbeat husband -- here's a pat on the ass." We should be saying "Yea the guy that killed your buddy is rotting in Jackson StatePen for the rest of his pathetic life, he'll never see the light of day in freedom again. By the way, because you risk your life everyday for ours, we're gonna give you better equipment, better pay, put up a memorial fund for your buddy designed to improve police-community relations in school and surrounding communities, and create non-profit organizations for the development and advancement of the city of Detroit in the names of fallen officers" Let's put more stress on proactive solutions not reactive ones.

Anyway I'm missing my original point....we should provide due compensation to those people who give their lives everyday to save others and not as much as $10 million to those who make us giggle.
So I'm at it again

I finished my bed frame this past weekend and now I'm on to sewing. It sucks though because the sewing machine at my house is broken so I have to go over to my grandma's. Now that's totally cool, I like spending time with my grandma, but I hate not having a sewing machine readily available.

Monday, August 12, 2002

Wow. This Thursday our house opens up. Awesome. I'm really happy our fourth roommate is gonna stick around. She seems so perfect for our house--you guys are gonna like her too. :-)

Ok. So I could do it. But you'd hate me if you found out it was me. Who else would you suspect though? I'm the only one you're closest to...I'm that direct line. So do I do it? I've tried to tell you what's right. I've given you fair warning. I let you in but I realized I'm gonna have to make some sacrifices for you to make some changes. I hate this. I wish I wasn't in control of this stuff. I gotta do it. I told you what was gonna happen. It's not my fault. It's not. You can't make this mistake anymore. I'm so sick of this. You think it's a goddamn joke. It's killing me goddamn it and you don't even care. I gotta do it. No, I have to do it. I feel so selfish cause it'll make me feel better when you lose what you take for granted. But I can't let you go anymore. I don't want to see you where you could possibly end up. I study this shit, I have a feeling what your next step is gonna be. I'm doing it. Ahhh. Fuck. FUCK! FUCK!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 08, 2002

It is getting closer and closer to the day I get to move back to school and I am slowing losing that general excitedness that has been pushing me thus far. Ugh. I feel like I'm wearing down already and the year hasn't even begun. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

I got a call last night at about 3:30am. At first, I just hit my cell phone button, went back to sleep, and thought nothing of it. Then when I heard the "New Message" beep this morning, I remembered the call. Everyone who knows my cell phone number, knows that I work everyday from 8-5 so I started to wonder if something was wrong. My mind flooded with worries. Maybe someone went to the hospital last night, maybe someone's car broke down, maybe someone was hurt and is stuck somewhere, maybe someone really needed to talk, maybe..maybe..maybe. I jumped into my truck, flew out of the neighborhood and noticed that the caller id read: Restricted Call. OH that can't be good. Finally, I get out on Telegraph. I hear the message, and it's a friend's voice. "Hey Jackie umm I need to talk to you about getting some cards baby. Call me."

Deep breath.
~MNH~"Hey this is (Mystery name here)"
~Jackie~"Oh wow, hey! I didn't expect to hear from you so soon"
The clock reads 6:11pm.
~Jackie~"How are you?"
~MNH~"I'm good, how are you?"
~Jackie~"I'm great thanks."

Do Do Do DooOOoo Finding a Fourth Roommate Shoooowww DO DO Fiinnnding a FOOOOUUURRRTHHH ROOOMMATE Show!!

~MNH~"I'm actually in Quebec right now, studying French. I'm a double major in French and International Poli Sci"
~Jackie~"Whoa, that's awesome."
~MNH~"Yea I'm excited"
~Jackie~"Well do you have any questions about the house, eerrr?"
~MNH~"Yea, how do you feel about dishes piling up?"
~Jackie~"ooo. I don't think that'll be a big deal, we're pretty clean people."
Jackie recalls doing her former roommate's dishes and hearing about cans of food in the garbage -- a complete disregard to her sweetmates wishes.
~Jackie~"Yea, we don't let them pile"
~MNH~"oh that's great. Well, I like video games, I LOVE the Simpson's, I'm really laid back, and I own a lot of kitchen appliances."
~Jackie~"Oh good like video games?! Do you like Dr. Mario by any chance?"


"Hi, may I talk to Jen please?"
"Yep, hold on a sec....."

Duh Duh Duuuuuuuhhhhh. Nexttimeonfindingaroommateshow.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

Stay tuned for the next episode of FINDING A FOURTH ROOMMATE.......

"Hi, is Jackie there?"
"This is she"

Duh DUh Duuuuuuuuhhhh. Tomorrowat3.
I may have found a fourth roommate. She sounds like a winner but we'll have to see!
Chime of 7

I watched Adam pack last night. I watched him grab the last of his things, put them into a green plastic storage bin, and tie the bin to the trailer. I stared out the kitchen window as he took a last glance at his home. I heard the clock chimed in at 7 and watched him shut his car door and drive away. I feel this love but loss for him now that he's moved away. He's my brother and we've lived together forever but still I feel like I barely know him. I wish we grew up closer. I wish it wasn't so hard to get to know him. I wish we could hang out, ride and camp with our friends. I wish it wasn't weird between us. I wish I would've given him a hug, said I love you and good luck.

Friday, August 02, 2002

Some weird feeling

Have you ever heard anyone say, "you're young, go live"? Well, maybe you haven't heard phrased exactly like that but you get the point. For some reason, I feel like I need to do everything. I want to volunteer this school year, take an engine apart and put it back together, be a certified EMT, start welding, use an airbrush to customize my helmet/car, build a desk or dresser, participate in political rallys, drive to St. Louis for no reason, sew patch pillows, publish a thesis, develop my own pictures, explore the U.S/Canada, paint on a canvas and hang it somewhere, be in some race (bike/car/whatever), or play ice hockey just to say that I've done it. Hmm...I better get crackin.
You ever watch the Muppet Show? I love that show. I love it so much I spend hours on ebay,, and other movie websites searching for deals on Muppet movies. I haven't found any sweet deals yet, but I will.....otherwise I'll prolly just go to a store. I love the muppets. I was so tempted to buy an 'Animal' toy the other day, I thought about getting it for two days. Rizzo the Rat is my favorite. Animal and Gonzo and Fozzy are some other good ones too. Oh how I love them. Have you ever seen Muppet Treasure Island?! It's a G rated movie but it's so funny. Do you remember when the Muppet Show ran on TV? DuDE it was great....I can remember watching it with my brother, we'd sit there the entire time staring mindlessly at the screen in a dream-like daze. They are so terrific.

Wednesday, July 31, 2002

I think I'm enjoying this new look.
Can you tell that I'm bored yet?

I completed half of step one in the three step process of staining my bed frame last night. Tomorrow I should be starting the poly treatment for the head and foot boards then Friday, I'll do the same on the side boards. I'm excited. You know, I was makin progress, I really was. This past year, I started wearing makeup more often, using the word "cute" to describe outfits and other girly stuff, and I curled my hair before I went out. And now there's nothing to show for all that innovation. Nothing. I started fixing things. I worked on my bike, I gave my truck a coolant flush, I refer to my truck as 'my truck', I nearly broke every bone in my knee/sholder when I fell off my bike, I passed my endorsment class with flying colors, I like football, I enjoy taking my truck off-roading, I find it relaxing to take things apart and put them back together, I make bed frames, I have tools, I like beer, I enjoy camping in dirt, I like ebay-----wait a minute....I like to shop.....I like to shop for long periods of time...I like to look at dresses and I love Bath and Body george, I AM A CHICK! :-)

Tuesday, July 30, 2002


Sunday, July 28, 2002

Whoo ah hahahha

Prepare to party hard in two weeks........DAVE's comin up to kzoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 26, 2002

Cocaine, Eric Clapton.
Truckin, Grateful Dead.
Stuff Upper Lip, ACDC.
Cherry Pie, Warrant.
Poison, BBD.
Need a Man to Love, Janis Joplin.
War, Edwin Star.
BV, Allannah Miles.
Sweet Emotion, Aerosmith.
Karma Camelion, Culture Club.
Horse with No Name, America.

What a line up for winamp at 8am eh?
I have a mustard stain on my shirt. :-) I like mustard.
Construction Workers are right outside

And I looked out my window at lunch and there they were with their construction hats, construction tee shirts and construction glasses. I would've gotten back to work but I couldn't take my eyes off of those orange-loven men. High noon, they formed a conga line and pointed at our loosely constructed, dirt driveway and laughed hysterically. I hid in the shade of the curtain. Then the radios explode with a riotous tune from TypeONegative and they look like bobble heads, standing in the middle of the street. A hundred fingers thrashing the air guitar and hammering on the drums and symbol. Twisted Sister crawls on the hood of a ’68 Camaro with flames rigged on the hood, right out of a scene in PeeWee Herman’s Great Adventure. I run out of the office, but I’m slow and Styx is chasing me. Oh my god, STYX!! I disappear into a Ford Focus, a four door with power windows. I’m cruisin’ down the Lodge at 15mph with three construction vests in my back seat. Adams and Walton appear and I’m wearing a bubble suit. Feel like the Michilan Tire guy hugging stock rubber right off the line. At the Bank One on the corner, construction guys are bumpin to Big Tymers comin from a loaded black Chevy Suburban with electric blue effects illuminating the parking lot, black tinted windows and a blinding gleam from the chrome twenty-two’s. “Yo yo yo what up homey?” Does anyone even say that anymore?! I’m back on the Lodge, I think I closed my eyes for a second. I94 / M10 interchange! Drove the Focus off the bridge, back on the Lodge!! I’m underneath the car, looking at the radiator. What, I just gave this car a coolant flush. The axel snaps and I can feel weight on my legs. Oh thank god, it’s just Dakota and Harley wandering about my bed. Crap, I have to go to work.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

when i get old, i wanna look old. when i'm 80, i want to mess up my grandchildren's names, all the time. i want my kids to say, hey mom, i need some advice. i want to look like i've lived. i want white hair. i want my grandchildren to listen to guster and say "oh wow, that's some good classic music right there". i want to look at grandpa and smile on our 50th anniversary. i wanna live in Florida so i can have tan flabby arms. :) Someday. someday.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

Everyone is having fun

Jellybeem is in Ireland. K is in Hawaii. Cap might be in Vegas. Everyone from school is at school. Come back people. Come back, I miss you already.

Monday, July 22, 2002

Flawless Victory

I pull into the parking lot, bike in trailer, and all I see is two rows of Harleys and two sport bikes. I grit my teeth, struggled to hold back my nearly overwhelming nervousness and walked into the classroom. I was the only one who didn't ride to class and the only one with a dual purpose bike (half dirt half street legal). Nonetheless, I pushed through the awkwardness. We spent the first three hours in classroom then at about 11 we headed outside to do some excersizes. We started out with the secretary of state exam, which I would have passed if I had chose to just take that, but I was really wobbly around the cone turns so I was glad I took the class. We broke for lunch around 1:30 and by that time I was best friends with my bike. A couple of us headed to the gas station to put air in our tires then this cool guy and I hung out at the pump after it began to pour. He told me he'd taken the SOS exam twice before but failed and this was his last chance to pass before he was off to Sturgis for a couple weeks. Then he asked why I towed my bike and of course I had to lie so I wouldn't feel stupid....I told him I went out Friday and Saturday and I was running late in the morning so I just dragged it. I thought it sounded a lot better than "my dad wouldn't allow me to ride street without an endorsment--it's not legal" and I didn't want to offend him. At 2ish, we headed back to the Radcliff Center, in the pouring rain. The street we turned in on to get to the parking lot was filled to about 3' of water, and those of you who've heard me talk about riding know I loooovvveee the puddles, so I flew through it. I felt bad though for the guy cause he was on a Victory----he has about a foot to a foot and a half clearance. OOps.

We sat inside, waiting out the rain, and took our written exam. I got one wrong! Wooohhoooo! Then the rain finally cleared up but I was still soaked when we headed back out to the parking lot. We did some more excersizes, I popped the clutch at one point and did a wheely---I didn't think anyone was really paying attention, but I was told repeatedly after that "now there's no wheely's in this excersize dirt bike". I got so comfortable with my bike, it was so great. In fact, one of the practice things was to do a figure 8 in a box the size of a parking space. Turns out I didn't need the whole box! :-) Then after the box, we had to do an S curve. I was the first one to do that practice run and I nailed it. I was SOOO happy. Then I started breaking like a pro yo, I couldn't believe it. The instructor guy was kinda cool/creepy. He would come sit on the back of my bike at points and he spit water at me once so I blamed him for making my brake light go out (it was really cause the ground wire came out but whatever).

I was totally ready for the exam. First, we had to do the figure 8 in the box. Not a problem. Second, we were on to the swerve. Ha, couldn't get any easier. Third, the 50 yard, fly and stop. Took off and made a record. 68 seconds, 18 ft to stop. Lastly, speed turn. Took the turn in second, rolled out and popped a foot and a half wheely out of the gate (two little green cones). I couldn't believe I could even do wheelys. We went inside and chilled out till they had the scores final. I was really happy for the guy I talked to at the gas station, he passed!! Then I found out that I was one of three who got a perfect score. SWEEET!! I was completely stunned. I love my bike :-) I shook everyone's hand, then loaded my bike up on the trailer. I took the long way home. I was SOOOO excited. I was so scared to even pull into the parking lot and then to know I passed, with a perfect score no less, it was such an incredible high. I was so happy. Shoooooot, I still am. :-)

Friday, July 19, 2002

In Ora Kyrie Eleison

vocatus atque non vocatus, deus aderit
sursum domini, sursum domini
ora pro nobis, in ora pro nobis pacem, kyrie

Thursday, July 18, 2002

I thought I needed to say this

Since I'm on this 'some people are ridiculous' binge right now, I want to tell you what hurts/bugs me to the point at which I either want to cry or break a window. Actually here's a list:

1. When people mock my friends -- I almost snapped once when this guy insisted upon poking fun at my roommates drunkeness.
2. When people 'talk shit' in a game/debate -- During a card game last summer, I wanted to climb over the table and strangle this guy cause he said 'do you guys need a handicap?'
3. When people tell my opponent "you better let her win" -- This is probably the worst thing someone can say, even if you know you suck at that game. At that point, I just stop playing, no matter where I am in the game.
4. Feeling used by people -- Big freakin issue for me, this happens a lot but I admit sometimes I'm overly sensitive.
5. When someone laughs in an argument -- when it happens, I'm gone.
6. When people make comments on where I'm from -- sometimes I just want to say I'm from Ellsworth, MI because I'm sick of people assuming I'm a spoiled brat because I'm from Bloomfield. My brother used to tell me "who cares? It's not like we talk about it or flaunt our parent's money." That's a good point but when D (a foreman on a job I worked at) told me that my dad was harsh for making me pay for half of college, it makes me sick. Just because my parents have money now, and we live in a nice house, doesn't mean I'm a brat. I'm incredibly lucky to be driving the truck I drive now and for the ability to ride motorcycles and such and I'm very thankful for that. I appreciate my parents decision to make me pay for college, I care more about school now than I ever have. What people don't understand is that this (Bloomfield) is the fruit of my parent's labor --- from making close to nothing and loads of family resentment/anger to life now, I think they've worked their ass to the bone, if they even have a bone anymore. But it's not mine. I haven't earned my own yet so don't give me that look when I tell you where I'm from. I'm me, not my parents.
What game?

So I was watching this show last night and at 2am I decided that some people are so dumb. :-) One of the characters frequently avowed – wait let me recall exactly what she said – “life is a game, play it or git out biatch.” What? Life is game? I must have missed the memo on that one; last I heard a game was supposed to be amusing and for sport. Sometimes it amazes me how smug Americans are to be able to compare life to a game. I mean it’s great that life dealt some people fantastic poker hands but there are so many out there that are left clinging to a pair-a two’s. It’s distressing.

There are some of us in this world who believe that life isn’t a game. We’re not ‘players’; we have one chance on this earth and we better not fuck it up. It wasn’t a freakin game when the Nazi army slaughtered millions, when terrorists massacred 5,000 Americans, when we eradicated thousands of troops upon entering a war (Vietnam) we knew we couldn’t win, when Israeli’s and Arab’s live in constant fear of attacks from each other, when U.N/U.S troops perished in the Korean War (1950’s) to save us from a third world war, when the Angolans wake up every day to a civil war, and nor was it on October 29, 1929. What is with you lady? Granted you can’t dwell in mistakes generations before us made or fetter your liberty from the results of those faults, but don’t be so self-righteous and shallow to deem life a sport. Be grateful you’re even given a chance to say those words without repercussion. People can be so re-goddamn-diculus sometimes.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

A lot more fun than I thought

Yesterday afternoon, I drove over to Kings and started installing my new handle bars. I needed access to some more tools besides two screw drivers and a pair of pliers so my dad let me use Kings garage. I stripped the old bar and put on the new one, then found out that my brake handle is in critical condition. Yes, it's about to die. It's bent so far downwards I can't even grab it from the grip. OOps. It's ok though cause I get to fix it.

My brother came down to see what I was doing at one point. He helped screw down the clamp pieces. He also noticed I bought Renthall bars---yea the expensive ($80) handle bars and congratulated me for spending like a pro.

I'm finding out as I go along, that there's a ton more bent than I originally thought. Both pegs are beat up, the shift arm is not supposed to look like it does, my rear fender is curved a little, my front body piece and my filter cover need screws, I think I may have lost my rear view mirrors, and I need a new sticker kit for my bike cause the existing effects are peeling off. Ahhh, I love working on stuff.

Did I tell you I built my bed yet? I built my bed.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Oh man. I had such a wonderful weekend at BlissFest. In fact I'd tell you how great of a weekend I had but I don't feel like I'll prolly speak about it in person instead.

On another note, I finally got my handle bars/air filter/pants for my bike. Now I just need to figure out how to make sure everything is "aligned". :-) Talk to yall later!

Thursday, July 11, 2002

Happy Anniversary!!

One year ago today, I started this bloggy! Wow. What a year. I looked back to see what I wrote about my feelings of moving in blind, old debates, feelings about school, my job, hospital visits, stints with old friends, funny-stupid-sad-pissedoff-bummed-badday-happy-content things, and a bunch of self-examinations......and yea, it's weird. My summer this year is so different. Last break, I hung out with Bull and Linds every single day, visited Jofish in Kzoo maybe 3 times the entire summer, and took 2 vacation days to go camping up north with Bull, Linds and Marc, didn't really know Cap or Nopa (first people I was introduced to through Sobe), and I was always bored. This year, I've visited Kzoo almost every other weekend, hung out with Nopa--Cap--Muzzie--Bran--Yerty--Sparky--Marcy--Jofish--Robbie--PDub--Scott--PG--Heather--and Bum, I'm bored but I have motivation to start projects, went up north a few times, took two vacation days to spend with Bum...this is weird. It seems like my life last year was so boring. I mean, second semester of Freshman year, Sobe moved out, so I lived in our dorm by myself, and the only person I knew and hung out with at Western was JoeD. Jofish came over once and a while -- ha I remember this time I took caffine pills, got less than an hour of sleep, and the next day I was exhausted and sleeping ... and jofish came over wanting to go ice skating :-) I felt so bad. I was dating MT, who visited a couple times, JoeD came over all the time --- I hated keeping my door open so every time he came over he'd shut the door behind him ... Josh (he lived across the hall) would always go "ooooo I know what you guys are doing in there!" what a dork -- I started hanging out with Bull and Marc in Hadley all the time and got to know Nick and Ryan (Bellview Ryan) a little, my english105 classmates...that's pretty much it. So, in total, I met 6 new people and reunited with friends from high school.

This year, I met all three of my roommates right off the bat -- ha there's half as many people as last year already! -- met Ben (Nicks friend and euch partner) -- bonded with Cap over motorcycles -- got to know Nopa, Muzzie, Marcy, Laura, Yerty, JoFish, Robbie, PDub, Scott, PG, Heather, and Bran on other occasions -- went to the OP every week -- ah and so many other things I can't think of right now. Craaazynesss. To think I was really REALLY nervous about going back to school, knowing hardly anyone. WEIRD. I'm so happy that everything worked out though. I am SO happy about that.

P.S -- Gots to gives props again to JonJon fo intro-doosin me to dis web-site one year ago! Thanks yo!!
K so I got this test right....

Emode emailed me this free IQ Test so I took it this morning. Keep in mind it was the morning so I wasn't entirely awake. Here's what they told me.

Congratulations, Jackie!
Your IQ score is 146

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Emode's Ultimate IQ test.

The even better news is that at Emode, we've taken your IQ test one step further. During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We were able to analyze how you did on each set of those questions, which allows us to shed light on the way your brain uniquely functions.

At the same time, we compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is a Visionary Philosopher.

The first thing we can tell you about that is you're equally good at mathematical and verbal tasks, and learn best through experience. But that's just scratching the surface.

So does that mean I'm good at math and verbal or does that mean I equally suck at them???!! Anyway--here's the site.

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

Can't do it

My quasi-boss brought up a topic today in conversation that I found interesting. Not the actual topic itself, but my reaction to it. He mentioned court policy and criminal justice and surrounding issues such as capital punishment. We argued a bit; I was offended by his insistence to involve the words 'correct' and 'death penalty' in the same sentence, he was vaguely captivated in my knowledge on the topic, then we ended our debate on a phone call in his office. Sitting in my office, post-debate, I listen to him talk on the phone then slipped into a weird daydream. I realized that we're two very different people. Not in the normal sense, like an obvious gender divergence but the fact that he can walk away from that conversation and feel nothing, whereas I can walk away from it and feel exceedingly bothered and displeased. So after some thought, I came to the conclusion that I can no longer profess views on criminal justice. I am so enveloped in my analysis of the criminal justice policy that I actually feel pain with disagreement. As I studied, I aquired too much knowledge to be able to have an open conversation with people outside of the CJ major. I'm teetering on that line of taking personal offense to someone elses argument. And I found out why. The Pro argument is based on retributive emotions. So much so, that I would venture to say that's the basis of the entire Pro platform. You cannot contend with emotions. People do things, people make decisions because they feel it's the right thing to do. The old confederate nation believed black people were born to be slaves to white owners and in colonial times it was fair to murder an innocent woman under controverted charges and false convictions in the Salem Witch Trials. People make choices supported by emotions, especially those in line with social contraversies. There's no fact, no concrete, objective truth to decipher a clear cut answer between right and wrong, there are merely thoughts woven together to form an opinion; the enormus gray area between true and false.

I study too hard and know too much to debate emotions. Somewhere down the line, I became so enveloped and fixed on one side, I have become nearly incapable of debating any criminal justice issue especially capital punishment. I besieged every morsel of information into one gynormus opinion that I think I've lost all sight of an opposing argument. I can't tell you how incredibly hard it was to put out the fire my quasi-boss started when he stumbled across that topic. I can't debate about CJ issues anymore, I just can't do it.
Not quite but almost

I bought the fabric for my duvet project last night, I bought the lumber for the bed frame I created, I got my candle holders in the mail yesterday, and I thought of a curtain idea for my window. Everything is in the process of being completed. My mom is gonna sew the duvet for me tomorrow night while I look around my grandmother's house for stuff to take to school, I have to cut, stain, and attach the hardware to my frame and I'd like to convert some color photos into black and white and stain some frames. I'm so excited. AND I get to spend the weekend with my roommate on her birthday! WAHOOO!! I got her somin, even though she told me not to, I got it for her anyway. I can't divulge what it is right now, cause I know she reads this site (sorry roommie), but I can assure you it's so cute she'll love it. :-) errr I hope.

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

I will take another bruise on my leg. I will welcome a broken shoulder. I will take another gash. I will take my car breaking down. I will take almost anything but please do not make me take a week with P.I.........please.
I can see it coming and I'm shaking with fear

It nearly brings me to tears thinking about it. I haven't had the distinct displeasure in years. I all but fell off the edge of my bed last night when I saw the traces of it. An overwhelming sense of terror came over me when I noticed the small, red, mosquito-like bumps on the sides of my legs. “Another P.I reaction.”

I can remember one of the first times it happened. I was at my cottage in northern Michigan. I was quite a bit younger and definitely audacious. The entire vacation, I walked around the cottage without wearing shoes. About a week after I got home, I started to break out in a wicked red rash. I went to the doctor and it turned out it was a genuine characteristic of the infamous poison ivy reaction; otherwise known as “P.I”. As time passed, whenever I would come in contact with the plant, the reaction got progressively worse. The effect of the oil went from a skin-deep problem to an internal dilemma. I had/have to take cortisone pills, tried every over-the-counter cortisone cream, prescription lotions, nearly every possible aid for weeks after it appears. It’s gotten so bed that now it circulates in my blood stream making it difficult to tell where it originated. My uncle has that same hindrance. The last time I had it, our office was in Novi, 7 years ago.

I cannot describe how nervous I am right now. If things run a similar/usual course, the full-blown signs will show by this weekend. If it’s anything like the past, I won’t be able to work next week, guaranteed. Please God let me be wrong.

Tom says that maybe now that I’m older I won’t have the same reaction. God I hope so. Oh my God I hope so.

Tuesday, July 02, 2002

Just a thought

I need a life outside my own. I need to be sequestered and isolated. I want a life with no phones, no television, no newpapers, no neighbors. I want to experience a world with only two luxuries, running water and electricity. I want to know what it feels like to be on a beach, in a little cottage, in northern Michigan, and completely cut off from the rest of society. Once a week, I would walk to a grocery store and stock up food for the following week, maybe even talk to the person at the counter so as not to loose my ability to socialize. I would have a garden to tend to every morning and a canvas and darkroom every night. I would sleep in a hammock at night when it was warm; between two trees on my bay view deck and wrap up in a comforter in front of the fire in the winter. No people, no distractions, only solitude. A chance to find out where an unbrideled, unrestricted and undistracted imagination will go. Just a thought, I guess. I don't think I sleep enough :-)
GREAT weekend

-Broke my collar bone(at least that's what my mom thinks)
-Bruised my ribs
-Blackened my leg -- knee area
-Dropped the bike on my ankle
-Scratched my forearm up pretty bad
-Had hotdogs for breakfast lunch and dinner --- then a 1/2 pound hamburger (my bro had to finish mine--I couldn't eat that much meat)
-Broke the handle bars on my motorcycle
-Both my brother and I discovered what hard ticks are ouch!
-Thought I broke my ribs
-Took 3 spills, one of which was at 30mph --- it was almost a dream, I opened my eyes and I was on the ground - far in front of the bike
-Discovered that I really need motorcross pants cause my jeans are too hard and gross
-Discovered that riding in the deep woods/swamp there's a greater possibility of getting attack by bugs - especially when it feels like it's over 100 degrees on the bike - and bugs like hot, carbon dioxide rich, moist animals - I hate bugs HATE EM HHHHHAAATTTTTEEEE EMMMM!

This past weekend was so wicked dude. I cannot wait until 2 - 3 weeks from now when we go again!! WAHOOO!

Thursday, June 27, 2002

You might find this interesting --- maybe not

So as I was reading this morning, I stubbled across 2 interesting facts. First, when I thought I had a large family, I found out that it is in fact, more GYNORMUS than I thought. Here's a little break down:

My Mother's side (by generation):

My grandfather's --- ?

My grandmother's --- 8 (8 siblings)

My mother --- 19 (4 siblings)

Me --- 36 (3 siblings---6 first cousins)

My Father's side (by generation):

My grandfather's --- 18 (2 sisters)

My grandmother's --- ? (6 siblings)

My father's --- 35 (9 siblings)

Me --- 92 (3 siblings---23 first cousins)

All together, there are 127 in my generation. I have 127 first, second, and third cousins combined. Did I mention, there are 5+ in the next generation already? Holy Mcjesus....I have a large family. My family shoulda been a French Canadian mob family. You never hearda one of those, eh?

The second thing I found out today was that both brothers (2 of 3 project managers) here are 4th/5th cousins with my dad. I still have yet to pin point whether it's 4th or 5th but yea, that's crazy. Small world eh? eh?? eh? Yea....frenchie canadian mob! Ta toi! C'est drole! :-)

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

And another thing..

I hate the show Elimidate, though I still watch it when it comes on at 11:30pm. The show is ri-goddamn-diculous. First, it makes people look petty. The main objective of the "dates", is to make the "elimidater" want to date him/her. That would be cool if they each contestant had his/her own seperate date with the "elimidater" but nooooooo. They're pinned against one another in competition for a single girl/guy. Stupid! That just means that each guy/girl, is gonna try and conform to whatever expectation/desire the 'elimidater' looks for in someone. Therefore the 'elimidater' is choosing from a group of 5 fake people willing to stoop to any level to 'win'. For example, I watched one last night that viewed three women in a hot tub with one guy (the 'elimidater'). All three made out with this guy to see who kissed the best. What does that have to do with dating someone? Is that really a qualification? Yea, I was almost gonna go out with this guy once, but he didn't meet my kissing standards the first time we met. Stupid! Second, the show is an successfully acurrate portrayal of people being stupid. It seems like there's always someone on the show that is willing to get naked or kinki. Seriously, if some chick was willing to get naked for a guy 'elimidater', he'd prolly pick her......cause 5 minutes after the show ended, he'd put his pants back on and never call her again. Nah, I'm sure not every show is like that, sometimes it's 10 minutes. No really, if the show was geared more towards finding a mate, it'd prolly be less stupid. But then again, I continue to watch the show, so I'm just as stupid for watching it. But hey, after Seinfeld at 11, there really isn't much else to watch.

You've been elimidated. hehhehe. I love it when they say that. STUPID!
Oh man. I don't know what I did, but I know I did something. My stomach is in shambles. I think I killed it. After polishing off close to a half a fifth of Sothern Comfort in about an hour's time last Friday, my stomach still feels like it's been ripped to shreads. I'm trying to eat and sometimes it's easy, if the food is bland or soft. I tried drinking orange juice but after falling to the floor and remaining in the fetal position for 10 minutes, I decided I can't drink orange juice. I had a turkey sandwich yesterday for lunch and I felt fine but when I got home and had chips, I almost threw up. Grrrr....maybe I'm just tired. My body's like "no food...need sleep". But that doesn't really make any sense because I go to work from 7:15-4:15 and sleep from 5pm-9pm then 12am-7:15am; I get 11 hours of sleep a day for christ sake. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Maybe I need to start working some stomach medicine into my diet for a couple of days. Hmm, that actually might be a good idea.
I wish you knew what that means to me....I've never been in tears before at work......Complete and utter happiness....god I can't even write coherently.....I love you.....I love you so much :-)

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

I was soo wrong! Germany will face the winner of the Brazil v. Turkey match after beating South Korea; one to nil. Oh well--good thing I didn't put money down :-)
Holy McJesus!

My mom came into my room last night and told me that I can have her kitchen table with the 4 chairs!! Wahooooo!! AND.....U2's "With or without you" is playing on the radio.....AND....the chair lady gave me a 'praise' on my ebay screen name and gave me the chair for $20 instead of $25.......AND....I think Dave and I are gonna go biking this weekend (though I'm still waiting on my dad's approval).....AND....I'm finally in air conditioning for the first time today.......AND....I kinda get off early cause I have to drive to the Fisher building for some more material......AND....I can go swimming when I get home!! YEA!!

Saturday, June 22, 2002


South Korea (5-3 shootout over Spain)

Semifinal games are later this week. :-)

Friday, June 21, 2002

I was half far

I was right about the Germans, they beat the U.S today in a 1-0 upset. Don't get me wrong, I had faith in the U.S team and I had hoped they'd prove me wrong, but I just couldn't bring myself to expect them to win. They really didn't have a strong offensive game --- which begins to break down the defensmen after 90 minutes. A solid defense will take you far, but you need balance across the field---the strikers could be a little more in tune with each other, that might remedy the problem. Sorry guys, maybe you'll get to the final four in 2006. Congrats to Brazil! I read they controlled most of the plays in their match against the English. Too bad, I expected England to go all the way this year. The last two games of the Round of 16 are on tonight, or tomorrow rather, but late---2:30am I believe. Catch a game if you're up. Check ESPN :-) for the exact times.

On another quick note.....I got a desk, a leather office chair, and a couch/chair for $100!!!!!!! The couch/chair is in Sturgis though, but it's ok, it was cheap :-) Later!

Thursday, June 20, 2002

read this out loud:

"WHaup? no i tol u.....D-cent-see iz sumthin eye whant 2 have."

huh? E why don't you just write it out?
OH my hands are painty painty painty --- can't quity quity quity --- will be tirey tirey tirey forever

STOP TOPPING MY BID!!!! Stupid Ebay.

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

I'm really startin to dig the Canadian accents......

I can't wait to go home today. I am soo tired. I'm looking forward to watching tomorrow's game (Eng v. Bzl) on CBC. OH I'm tired.

Tuesday, June 18, 2002

Winners Round of 16

I got 5/8 right and 1/8 sorta kinda half right (spain v. ireland was a tie but spain had a better record therefore advanced).....I should bet on it :-) Teams advancing to the quarterfinals:
South Korea








Quarterfinal Schedule:
Germany v. USA

Brazil v. England

Senegal v. Turkey

Spain v. South Korea

I think I'm going with Germany---England---Senegal---South Korea......England and South Korea will meet in the finals....the English look really hungry for the cup!

Friday, June 14, 2002


I love the Canadian channel. For one, it helps me keep some tabs on the World Cup. Well, sorta. Almost every day, there are at least three matches played, but I only get to see one game, the others are shown around 2:30am. Anyway, so I wanted to comment on the status of our boys. The US team is made up of quality players from MLS, but it looks like we need to send our MLS teams out to South Korea or England or Spain for some pointers. I can't believe the American's lost to the Polish. I cannot believe it. Poland fumbled 2 on 1's at the 18 yard line, lost 3 on 2's at midfield, and were otherwise playing absolutely terrible in their match against South Korea. Poland has never really been a powerhouse per se in the World Cup but I have never seen them play so bad. I mean, they could go far if they would get it together and work on some precision in drills but as of right now, they'll be eliminated. The USA, thanks to S. Korea's 1 - 0 win over Portugal, was sent into the glorious 16 after holding on to second place in Group D under 1st place South Korea. I'm not sure if the US will get it together before they face Mexico on Monday. It looks like they have a solid goalkeeper but they need a little more stretch and endurance in the defense. Friedel, who, I must say, looks a hell of a lot better than Tony Meola in 1998, is tied with 3 other keepers among the top 5 statisitical leaders. At 13 saves, he's one save short of the leader but hopefully he'll be able to add to that number on Monday. I think they're doing 'ok' for American soccer but nothing compared to futball teams. All they needed was a draw against Poland to advance, but they couldn't pull it off. Therefore, unfortunately, I don't think they have much chance against Germany, England, Spain, Brazil, or Senegal.

Speaking of which, if you caught the match between England and Agentina, you witnessed an absolutely WICKED win. It was so great. Argentina was or maybe still is, I don't know, favored to win. The English are probably still glowing from that upset. Anyway, this upcoming week, the following matches are scheduled:
Germany vs. Paraguay

Denmark vs. England

Sweden vs. Senegal

Spain vs. Ireland

Mexico vs. USA

Brazil vs. Belgium

Japan vs. Turkey

South Korea vs. Italy

I think I'm taking, Germany---England---Senegal---Spain---Mexico---Brazil---Japan and South Korea, to win. So yea that's my prediction. :-)

Other Matches:
---Germany vs. the saudi's ---- 8 - 0?! Come on, that's ridiculus.
---Germany and Ireland advance to the second round. Duh, I think Cameroon had one goal out of three games--Saudi Arabia had zero.
---Agentina? What happened? You were the favorite going in.....bad week huh?
---Thank you Denmark for knocking Uruguay out of the mix! Futball's about finess and teamwork not throwing cheap shots and gudge plays.
---Congrats to China for qualifying to the 32 and congrats to Turkey for advancing to the 16! First time in what seems like forever!
---Russia, sorry dudes, looks like you'll have to wait another thousand years before you'll get to go---you guys need some help yo.

Thursday, June 13, 2002

Ouch!! ewe

I have paint splattered all over my hands, pants and shoes!! My shoulders are getting sore from working too. The guys are starting to talk to me more, which is kinda cool. Once and a while I get the "hey treat her good or she'll let the boss know a little somin!" or the "hey you don't want to get to know this guy, he seems to impregnate everything he looks at!" (the guy then laughs--"Fuck you!"---more laughs) or even the "Don't be a badass! A woman is in our presence!". It's funny. One of the older guys tried to set me up with his son.....One day he's like "hey, you like younger guys?!" Uhhhhh. Not so much. I told him "Yea, ummm, yea I'm dating someone right now". He looked at me, laughed, and shook his head. Sometimes I have a hard time saying no to people, especially the ones I don't know and who are above me on the company chain. But I had to.....I love P-Dub. :-)

There's road construction outside our office this week so everything's a mess here. My mom called me today to ask if I could pick my sister up from her last final of her freshman year of high school (oh my god I can't believe it) cause my mom couldn't get out of the parking lot. I told her that I couldn't, so I guess she waited and got there late-----however, before she could hang up the phone, I patronized her a little. Yesterday she went to an Othopedist to figure out what she needed to do to her hand and she forgot to tell us where she went. I guess she called my dad and told him that she was gonna have a pin put in her pinky finger --- which is an outpaitent procedure/surgery but she forgot to tell him where she was going. So I get a call from my dad asking "uhh I'm in my car right now, can you look for a doctor in pontiac for me?" My dad's secretary and I are calling around to try and find out where my mom is and finally, 2 hours later, my dad shows up at home with my mom. So this morning, I was givin her a little shit about it. She laughed. :-)

P.S -- I got another surprise!!!! hehehehhehehehhe.

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

I talked to a guy on ebay nah nah nah nah naaaaaaah nah I'm gonna get a couch nah nah nah nah naaaaaah nah I have to drive to Cleveland nah nah nah nah naaaaaah nah.........ahh, I'm feelin pretty good today. Yep, preeeetttttyy gooood. I sent 6 envelopes through the mail today. I couldn't believe it. I took care of some bills, I sent some letters, I cut HUGE checks for credit cards, I feel good. Well, I take that back, I'm a little worried about my mom. She broke her hand last night after falling off her horse and had to go into surgery this afternoon. I'm sure she's alright and everything but I don't know, it still worries me a little I guess. Anyway, so I was emailed a link to a new blog. I know that all of you love to read blogs so here's a new one, add it to your favorites!!! :-) Well, I better get going.....since I got to the jobsite super early this morning, I get to go home early today....Later!

Monday, June 10, 2002

Something Bold

I am so burned. My arms are a little better for the most part, but my shoulders hurt so bad. I went out on the boat on Saturday with my dad for a couple hours and didn't realize how hot the sun was. It was cool out in the middle of the lake, my dad had a sweatshirt and jeans on but as we got closer to shore, the temperature seemed like it skyrocketed. Sobe was burned too, she and I complained at Jellybeem's place when we played Euch last night. I lost 2/3 games. We played a 4th game to 5 points which Rox419 and I won, but that didn't really count. I think I'm losing my touch, or I'm just missing my partner. We've only lost one game together and I shoulda known something was wrong that night when we lost.......we went to the hospital not too long after that (for the gajillionth time). A few weeks ago, one of the roofer's fell through a ceiling into a bathroom and went to the hospital but I guess there was nothing wrong with him. Speaking of roofer's, I couldn't go to my jobsite this morning cause we're having some trouble with "shoulda coulda woulda" issues. I'm not very happy that I'm stuck in here all day when I could be out on a job, melting away the hours with physical labor. I'm sick of mental strain. Sometimes I want to go home and be exhausted because my arms and legs hurt not because I have a headache from plotting CAD drawings. I can't though. The guys avoid me out on the job because they know who I am and assume that I'm there to report their every move......I can't spend that much time out of the office cause no one seems to know how to do anything much less want to do anything with the computer when I'm not there. So I'm stuck. This summer either needs to speed up or I need to find a way out of this----maybe I can change my last name and scrub the "office personel (i.e too weak to work in the field)" sign off my back. DRAGADUKE! :-)
If you could know one thing about your future, what would you want to know?

Wednesday, June 05, 2002

Oh my......

I enjoy listening to 97.1 FM Talk during my work day. My morning begins with Howard Stern until 10-10:30am, then Kramer and Twitch until 2pm, and then I usually turn it to music, or if I'm REALLY bored I'll listen to Deminski and Doyle on 97.1 but that's rare. Anyway, so Kramer and Twitch made this bet with two Denver DJ's. The two Denver radio people insisted that if the Av's won, they'd get to punch Kramer and Twitch in the face and vice versa if the Wings won. WELL, since the Wings won, the two DJ's are flying up here to settle the bet shortly after the finals are over. However, now they're saying they want to wear head gear, or have fans throw hawiian punch on them, or have fans hit a puck at the bullsign of a dunk tank. But during the series, they put up billboards, signs, and bragged about punching two Detroiter's when they thought the Av's had it in the bag. Here's some of the stuff Kramer and Twitch did in response....The website's a little out there---It's not as well done as it used to be...but I thought it was funny....they even took out ads in the Denver News promoting the Wings----like full page ads----they asked for donations from game 1 to game 7!