Wednesday, February 27, 2002

DUDE!!! So this Laverne and Shirley idea......check out THE SPIN OFF!!!
So excited

So it looks like there's a pretty good chance Sobe's comin back next year. I'm so thrilled!! I love that girl! AND my roommate is gonna get a tattoo on Friday! Again....SO EXCITED! I can't wait till tomorrow at this time, I'll be done with my exams and then it's on to relaxation and then later, but it's ok cause Sobe and I are gonna be chillin in la la land together. She's having surgery at the same time so we're gonna be chillin on the spectacular beaches of Hawaii, drinkin coconut drinks with little umbrella's while gettin a massage by tan cabana boys with big muscles and foreign accents, all under the beautiful warm sun. YEEEEEAA!!!

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

Next Wednesday

Goodbye top molars. Goodbye both sets of Wisdom teeth. Goodbye and good luck to all 6 of you. You'll be out of my jaw on Wednesday the 6th and I can't say that I'm happy about it. I've been to the oral surgeon before to get rid of a set whose adult teeth were congenitally absent so I know the procedure inside the office. Yet, I imagine removing you will be quite painful, probably more so than the last trip to the doctor. I have no idea what to expect.......please someone tell me a good story about getting Wisdom teeth removed.....I need some good know what? I just had a thought. When I'm 60, I prolly won't have anymore of my own teeth. SHIT.

Monday, February 25, 2002

Varsity 66 yo

The last few days I've felt like blah. Maybe it's because I no longer have blood running through my veins; I think my body replaced it with EasyMac and Wheat Thins. Or maybe it's because I lost like 11 hours of my weekend to the books. More than likely the reason is the latter but still EasyMac and Wheat Thins is still a plausible cause, don't you think?

So this weekend was blah :-). I kinda realized that I am not in the best state of mind. I'm happy and all but I have no motivation. I don't really want to go out and have a good time and be merry. I feel like sleeping. I don't want to have circles under my eyes and people telling me I need to talk about things when I have nothing to say. I feel like I'm prodded with questions, an ungodly number of questions, that if I don't anwser, someone will get upset with me. Honestly, I love the general interest in my life and how I feel but this week, I don't feel like talking. I don't even want to go out. It's not that I'm not happy with the way things are going in my life right now, it's totally cool but I'm worn out. I guess I'm just tired and defensive and feel like I need my solace for a little while.

Sunday, February 24, 2002


My brain is mush. Mush, Mush, Mush. This week is going to be hell. I went to study today and I'm readin along, you know 'study-like' readin and I come across this sentence: 'Police spend most of their time on important crimes'. I thought to myself for a moment. Then I asked the wall, cause my roommate's not here, "why in the blue hell do we need unimportant laws? Like Jaywalking, why do we need a law against jaywalking? Who gets arrested for jaywalking? If cops don't enforce it, WHY do we need it?!" After that, I continued to read. Eh, whatever.

Saturday, February 23, 2002

K I'm a little scared right now

I just finished writing that last post, and I went to lay down on the futon. I can't really lay straight at all. The whole back, rightside of my body hurts right now and I don't know why. I still feel like shit only now, I'm having trouble putting pressure on my back and moving my right shoulder. Ok, it's hot in here, wait.....damn it, I'm burning up again. I am so tired but I can't go back to sleep. I'm really hot right now. wow. Ok I'm crawling back into bed, but if it hurts I'm crawling back out and if you need me, I'll be lying on the floor in a coma in the soon to be heating chamber (produced by the radiating heat off my forehead), we currently call the bedroom. :::Sneeze:::: Ewe. Yucky.
The Girl Cannot Catch a Break

First she runs out of gas on the way to Water Polo in the freezng/snowy weather and has to push her car up a hill and into a parking space reserved for the Hall Director (wearing the usual flip-flops). Second, she is so busy but works so hard to get shit done that she stays up until 7:30am one night to finish math homework only to sleep through her math class, getting a big 20% off cause it was late. Third, her clutch slips on her Mustang so bad that it's causing her enough worry to want to take it home for the weekend and borrow her stepmom's car. When we get to her house, her engine starts to smoke. [Fourth] And now, driving the Grand Cherokee to her Ohio tournament, she called this morning to ask if she had enough money in her account to replace a flat tire.

I'm so impressed. What a strong, independant woman I have for a roommate. She's so awesome. I think I'm gonna go to Meijer tonight and buy her some Mountain Dew......oh yea and take back all the bottles. Ohhhh, and I can straighten her desk, yea, and then clean this place........I so do not want to study.

Friday, February 22, 2002

Do you think....

Back in the "the earth is flat" times, I wonder what people thought when they looked at the moon. Did they think it was spherical or a 2d object floating in the sky? I wonder if anyone was like "well if the moon is round and the sun is round, maybe the earth is round too." Bum and I had to go to Jenison today to pick up another car (hers is dying) and that's when this random thought creeped into my head.

On a brighter note, the sun is turning yellow. It's not that low-light kinda color like in the dead of winter anyomore. I know that sounds a little weird......but seriously i'm not crazy---it's changing colors. :-) I need sleep.

Thursday, February 21, 2002

Peter Gabriel

That's all I really have to say. :-) = Big gynormus smile.

Wednesday, February 20, 2002


First I want to stop being annyed with myself for missing my class this morning.........Second, I want to dance. Claire told me that exercising is good and she's right it makes me feel a whoooollleee lot better. So I won't do anything real painful, like running :) I'll dance. Our room will be one big dance party! Yea!!

Monday, February 18, 2002

Wow. I pulled a 180

I started posting to this site back in July of 2001, wow. I was bored so I was reading some of my earliest archives and I noticed the one posted July 24th. I can hardly believe that after seven months, my opinions changed as much as they did. It's like in July, I was like "HELL NO dude" and now I'm like "HELL YEA!" ---- that's so a huge 180. Whoa. I'm goin to lay down now. :)
I knew it

"It is in our greatest interest to promote freedom. We have a choice today, we choose freedom or [terrorism], and those of us who love freedom will [protect and treasure] it. And it is our duty to convince others to choose freedom." -President George W. Bush (2/18/02 Speech)

1953-54. Eisenhower administration. The leader of Guatamala, Arbenz, was not a communist but was supported by communist interest groups. After gaining power, he seized private property, nationalizing all land within Guatamala. The United Fruit Company, which was an American owned enterprise, lost all of it's land and was compensated for nothing. Meanwhile, in the United States, the American public was convinced Communism in any part of the world, will not only threaten their civil liberties but their entire way of life (no trade, higher prices, international relations, ect). Eisenhower believed that Guatamala, through nationalizing the country, was tampering with American private properties and could be considered a developing Communist regim. Eisenhower deployed the CIA who then manuvered rivals of the Arbenz party in 1954 to kick him out of office. After stepping down, he was murdered.

Late 1950's. Batista, dictator of Cuba, was U.S friendly. During the cuban revolutions Fidel Castro, along with followers, pushed the Batista regim out of office. In 1959, Castro began to execute the remaining members of the Batista party and imposed harsh restrictions on Americans in Cuba (e.g. the American Embassay). In 1961, Castro nationalized, commandeering all U.S and other privately owned land with no compensation. The United States cut off relations with Cuba and refused to grant them recognizance. Castro by the end of 61 was ready to declare Cuba a Communist nation. Kennedy was inaugerated in the same year. He proceeded with Eisenhower's 'Alliance for Progress' plan, and sent 1200 CIA and Cuban American's to the Bay of Pigs to remove Castro from office. All 1200 were captured.

Are American politians able to tolerate any form of government besides a democracy? Was Communism a cloak to promote U.S interest? We had a hostage crisis in Iran in 1979 (oil embargo) that caused the 2nd worldwide energy crisis, an increase of inflation by 13% and an increase of unemployment by 7%. Prices of oil are fluxuating now, could 'the protection of freedom from terrorism' be the cloak to intiate a coup d'etat (change of gov't)? We did not support Seria during the Israeli/Arab wars from terrorism, or any other middle eastern country with such power until recently, why must we convince them "freedom is the key" all of a sudden? U.S Political leaders successfully conviced the majority of American's that communism was a disease, is that possible with terrorism? Did you know about the 50 some shark attacks in FL before this past year - that it was a big problem on FL beaches even though the stats haven't significantly changed in the last few years? why do you think that is and could it be related to what's happening now? Or could it all be just a madman with the desire to kill innocent people? ....................

Saturday, February 16, 2002

5149 Kellen

Yesterday, I packed up my massive pile of laundry, stuffed it into a bookbag and my basket, and headed home. When I got there, I pulled into the driveway and "whoa, hello", there's a familar car parked in the circle. I haven't seen that black Jeep in ages. I grabbed my clothes from my back seat, walked through the back door and into the laundry room. In the middle of tossing my whites into the washing machine, a voice yells out "Hey [Adio], you forgot to shut the garage door!" I quietly peek around the corner and she jumps back, "you scared the shit out of me." I smiled, looking at the mischevious grin on my brother's face. SHEEEEEEE'S BAAAAACK!!!!! I'm so excited! I think she spent the week at my parents' place, which is so cool. I hope this means they're back together. I so missed her dude, she gets my brother out of the house and into bar hoppin again. I'm so excited she's back. YEA!!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2002

No NwO!!!

Mmmmm.......Test. :-)
Cloud 8.9

To quote the movie "Dazed and Confused": "Imagine how many people out there are fuckin. Just goin at it." Today is of course the most hated day among singles, Valentine's Day. Amost every year now, with the exception of '01, I've been without a special someone and it seems kinda sad. However, today, isn't that bad. I'm happy. I'm glad I'm not dating someone right now. I mean I'd love to be dating someone in the near future but I'm glad it's not right at this moment. I imagine my heart would've been broken today if I were but it's not and I'm happy. My last relationship ended a month ago and I'm over that. The one before that was a little more difficult, it ended in the midst of summer break........but hey, relationships are relationships, you'd like them to last forever but sometimes they don't. But anyway, I'm straying from my original point. I'm happy. My roommate is happy. There's got to be more people out there that are happy. Come on single people, be strong, be happy on Valentine's Day! Who needs someone special?! Be happy for yourself!!

P.S I've never been on a blind date.......I think I want to go on one. :-)

P.S.S Wait, scratch that last one....nah nevermind, I like puttin myself out there. :-)

Wednesday, February 13, 2002


I just wanted to say that the video "Thanks that was fun" by BNL is just so great. That's pretty much all I wanted to post at this time.......I'll think of somin deep later. :-)

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Oh my my, oh hell yea

I couldn't remember what spring smelled like till early this afternoon. I forgot what it felt like to have a 'warmer than winter' breeze throw my hair back until today. Everything shined this afternoon; I bet the lake was gorgeous to gaze out on. Just a glimse of what's to come.

Now back to winter..........MI, do your thing. :)

Monday, February 11, 2002


Just wanted to say happy birthday to Lebtunia. Happy Birthday Lebtunia!
So Cap....

I was asked to change my time from PST to EST so that it would make people happy. So I changed my time from PST to EST to make people happy. :)

Sunday, February 10, 2002

k dude, this is funny

So last night, Bum and I got back into our room at around 5ish (a.m). We stumbled around for about two hours then finally decided to go to bed. I woke up around 2:30-3pm but that's not the funny part..............It's 6pm right now and Bum just walked out of the bedroom.
Time to Push

I love skiing. I dabbled in racing in high school. I flew in and out of mogules in middle school. Had the opportunity to at 12,000 feet and get lost in a national forest for 3 hours. Somewhere in the back terrain of Steamboat Springs CO, Ski Resort are two damn good pairs of sunglasses. I broke my leg on a rope tow in kindergarden. Dropped my poles once. Lost a ski while riding a chair lift once. Got a certificate for being a 'good little skier' at Boyne Mountain once. Watched my dad and little brother be lowered down from a chair with a rope at Tyronian Hills. Fumbled in the first few attempts but finally achieved a "helicopter" (spun around in the air and landed!). I run into trees sometimes but on like 80 degree angle chutes. I lost my ski this one time, and slid down one of those hills while my brother laughed at me. I found out that I can video tape someone skiing/snowboarding, backwards. I was at Alpine racing, and I lost my ski, and it flew all the way down to the bottom of the hill. That's when I found out I can ski on one leg. I do figure 8's with my brother sometimes, mostly to show off when there's a lot of people on a chairlift. I used to ski by myself a lot, now with Adio (nickname for my older bro). Tried snowboarding, it hurt. Wanted to try telemarking, not so much now. Man, I love skiing.

Oh yea, and JoFish19, I'm getting excellent reviews after the showing of my project. Thank you again.

Saturday, February 09, 2002

I let go

I don't wake up to your face anymore. Your not the last thought to cross my mind before I go to sleep like you used to be. You no longer make me terrified of the way people look at me. You have no power over the way I act, speak, or feel anymore. I never told you this, but I never thought you deserved what you could have had. You didn't deserve the attention. You didn't deserve the frequent denial. You didn't deserve much of anything. You know, for so long I thought that maybe if I avoided you that day, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. But nah, it wasn't my fault. They told me it was yours. I believe it. But as much as I want to hate you, as much as I want retribution for this pain, as much as I feel like taking advantage of the SoL, I forgive you. I want it back, but I'm not gonna pursecute you. You gave me fire. You are the reason I feel the way I do about capital punishment. You helped to put me into criminal justice even before I went to college. But that doesn't make you right. You aren't much of a man, I'll say that, but I forgive you.

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

Is there a light in here?

I don’t consider myself a smart chick by any means. I’m not a virtuoso or brilliant scholar. And I’m not a bright individual with some exceptional talent. I’m ambitious. I work relentlessly for whatever knowledge I seem to have. I put from 3 to 8, or even 15 hours in to exams, quizzes, and basically anything else I can get my pen on. On most occasions, the exertions pay off, however there are times that 15 hours doesn’t seem like nearly enough time.

I got two exams back today. Both were complete disappointments. I go to class, I take notes, I do everything short of writing dissertations on each topic I was assigned to study; yet the grades reflect poor attendance and lack of work ethic. Two grades are not going to kill me; I understand that much, but it just frustrates me to some degree to receive such marks after working so hard.

I guess what it all comes down to, is that I have to put in more time. No big deal I guess. I’m not REALLY worried about it, at least not right now. But god I hope there’s still a chance this day will get a little better, or maybe it could just end on a good note. Peace.

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

TRY IT !!!
Colorgenics...or....holy shit they are so right (I stole Nopa's title format)

You are a very sensitive person and you try hard - (perhaps a little too hard) - to make
favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers... But you have that inherent need
to feel appreciated and admired. You are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by
unappreciated or not acknowledged. stop trying so hard

You are totally dissatisfied with your present situation. Matters are not going right for you and
you are seeking a means of escape. Your mental state of mind necessitates that you need
to change your thinking patterns. Remember, if one particular modus operendi doesn't seem
to work then try something different ....

In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, It is hard for you to
accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your
sphere of influence...and there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and
inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that
you will have to make the best of things as they are.

There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps
due to some considerable mental and physical frustration... There are various physical needs
that are necessary for your well-being ... but whatever the reasons .. mostly of your own
making.. your needs are not being fulfilled .. We wonder why?You are under the impression
that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is
because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with.
You need to find a soul mate. Someone who truly understands you and whose standards are
as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle
that you find yourself entrapped ... but this is easier said than done. You refuse to
compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation
because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are
stubborn ... but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life .. You want to be liked
for yourself .. for the way you are. ..

Overwork ... be it mental stress ... or physical strain, you are completely worn out and this
depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel disappointed
with your obvious lack of energy and powerless to do anything about it.You are angry with
yourself and this frustration shows. You are contradictory and argumentative and feel
helpless to change the situation at this time. Take a break ... even if it is only for a few days
... allow yourself to breath ... to unwind ... You'll feel much better for it... Then trust and let

Monday, February 04, 2002


I thought I should clarify something. It just occured to me that one might presume that the source of the motivation behind my last entry can be somehow connected to feelings towards my ex. I'd like to state, for the record, I had no intention of provoking such a presumption. It was written for my best friend.

Ah and the good news. A friend has just informed me that the blog reflected him onto his own lost friends/lovers. For the first time in my life, someone could relate to my writting......err at least the first person who's ever informed me of such matters (but we'll stay pessimistic)......I'm excited!! I feel worth something at the moment. Yea! :-)

Sunday, February 03, 2002

Heart of the Matter

I haven't heard from you in a while. I see you online but you're always away. I wish I could talk to you. I have a picture of you on my wall, it reminds me of that night I was so nervous I could barely speak, but I never let you know it. You remember the summer of '01? I only saw you a couple of times but god that was fun. Remember the lake at dusk? You always knew everything....bastard :-) I wish we could hang out and skrew around like we used to, before all this. It's been so long. It was really hard at first but I'm starting to understand; I'm starting to figure it out. But sometimes.........I miss you more than ever.

"I'm learnin to live without you now, but I miss ya sometimes.....I'm tryin to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets loose and my thoughts seem to scatter but I think it's about, forgiveness. Forgiveness, even if, you don't love me anymore." --Don Henly

Dedicated to Noloh

You know what's really good? Mmmmm, cold pizza. Yummy. This one person I knew used to go "hey Jack!! Cold pizza!!" I would laugh and eat some. Cold pizza is so very delicious. My mouth is watering. I'm hungry. What do I have in the frige? Oh my, look, I have cold pizza............yummy....... :-)