Monday, March 11, 2002

Thanks to you, I'm here

I was thinking about all of you today. I don't think I've ever felt so loved. It occured to me this afternoon, as I drifted off to sleep, that when I shut you out, when I bum around alone, when I complain that no one knows or understands how I feel, or when I feel like I have a right to be a bitch, I am, in theory, slapping you in the face. Any one of those acts displays my utter disregard to your concern and care for me and that I neither trust nor care that you might have gone through or are going through similar problems. Like I consider your hurtles in life to be relatively small compared to mine, like you haven't a clue what issues are. It never occured to me before that the way I act (if I'm down or irritated or depressed ect.), could hurt the people I care about. I guess I didn't fully realize why we have friends in our lives. I didn't see that we're all there to support and grow with one another. The question that raced through my brain as I closed my eyes: "Did I tell my friends today that I love em?"

So...I'm going to pledge to all of you that I'm going to make a dilligent effort to be more open. My book is going public :) I'm not going to keep you in the dark, I'm going to try to give you a chance to understand. I want you to know you're a part of my life and I care about your opinion. I love you guys.


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