Thursday, May 30, 2002

I have no idea where I was going with that one.
Gonna Have a Teenage Riot : Cause We All Understand What it's Like to be a Kid Today

Drugs. I watch reporters on the News, I read reviews online or in the newspaper, and I listen to hearsay about the “war”; the eternal abstract battle between the forces of “good” and “evil” existing on a psychosomatic plane within our society. Last night, I was analyzing the basis to which both sides operate and I came up stating the obvious I think.

I thought about my mom, she represents the “good”; a law-abiding citizen toiling in a professional ‘adult’ and conventional society. Then my age group, 16-21, who exists in two tentative worlds. One world, is that in which the “good” side inhabits. And the other world, that contains an underground type society, which functions just below the surface of the law of the conventional society.

As the young get older, they begin to lose touch with the “evil” underground society and eventually become part of the “good” side. My mom, as I will do after some time, has lost all connection to the ‘underground’.

For Example:

I was watching a broadcast last week about DEMF and how last year it was chock-full with people buying and selling drugs. The report practically guaranteed that everyone attending—“your kids”—would be in swayed into trying it. My mom, watching and reading about the same type of “revelation”, now considers herself well informed of so called hot spots where drugs are rampant and in detecting drug use. It's like some of the reports out there are just perpetuating this “war” with ridiculous information that people like my mother; base all of their expertise upon. Look, drugs are everywhere, Detroit isn't gonna be any different. So it isn’t really news to hear people buying/selling at the Fest because it’s hardly unlike clubs or even school. In high school, I knew of whom, when, and where to meet if I wanted anything. Laws, levels of security, they weren’t an issue, there was always a way to get around them. There are typical signs of drug use, yes, but there are countless ways of making them appear nonexistent. Language is different......Tabs, Pills, X, E, Adam, Smack, Rock, Chronic, Strawberries, Hydro, Buds, Nugs, or Trip. My mom has no clue what “There’s Vick’s on the end of the Binkie” means, and most likely neither would a reporter. So don't ruin something so wonderful as DEMF by propagating negative images of it. Speaking as someone somewhat knowledgable of the drug scene, DEMF isn't as bad as news crews make it out to be. So quit freakin out my mom.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

Ouch. My arm hurts. Someone burned it at the fest and it stings a bit. I just found out that I'm gonna become a site manager. I wonder if I get to do cool stuff, like drive the quad back an forth, hauling the mini-me trailers. It was warm out last night. Oh my it's only quarter after 9. CRAP. I wish it was 4. No 5, cause then I'd be done. DAH I am so bored right now. I need to find somin to do. Oooo Ebay.

Tuesday, May 28, 2002

The cool, crazy things that happened this weekend at the Fest

1. Paid a homeless guy $4 for a broken chain
2. Danced til I couldn't feel my shoulders/legs anymore (ouch they are so sore)
3. Watched three different people score some pills from a guy sitting right next to me
4. Talked to a homeless guy who said that "george was gonna tear this shit up"
5. Was one two girls groped by a drunk guy while waiting on the floor of the live stage for george to come on
6. Heard a couple people tell me that they wanted my body (I was wearing an "I WANT YOUR BODY: autobody collision" T-shirt)
7. Bought a CD for $10 from some guy on the corner
8. Had a footlong chilli dog
9. Saw someone I didn't expect to see
10. Gave another homeless guy my last 1 dollar bill so he signed my sock "Edd" (the second d is a little messed up)
11. Was shoved and smushed between thousands of people, literally (ask 'DJ McInnis')
12. Gave someone a fake phone number
13. Finished a half pint of SoCo every day for three days
14. Got my picture taken twice by some random guy
15. Was slapped in the ass by some chick that told me she liked my shirt
16. Was so out of it that I didn't even know PDub came over Sat.
17. Had great fun at the Innis/Drag/Duke slumber party but not so much party more like movie and sleep
18. Bought a ring
19. Watched some of my favorite DJ's spin all day long
20. Bought a sticker that says Detroit
21. Lost a signal numerous times
22. Was offered $3 for the use of my cell phone
23. Wore my phat pants
24. Watched so many people pop lock (ooo so cool I so wanna learn how they do that)
25. Went to National 4 or 5 times
26. Found a way to get to my house from National by taking only right turns
27. Royally pissed off my parents by not cleaning the office before Monday night
28. And whichever else, had a great time
the post was written on the 16th. today is the 28th. that's it, this is the last of any more time I'm spending on this issue. I cannot believe i'm saying this again. you make it seem like a simple observation made into some good for nothing comment, serves as some indication of a underlying obsession for what was. ok, if you choose to insist that you're right, continue as you please my fair weather friend. but i'll say this for the last time, it was a dumb comment, it meant nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero.....last word, first word--censor, no censor--whatever. if you considered this "matter" to be over, why are you still adamant about it? it's like you can write paragraphs upon paragraphs condemning your old girlfriends and how badly they treated you, and that may be, but when someone writes one line about you, one stupid, meaningless line, you write post after post 'defending' yourself by referencing old analogies that have absolutely no connection to that particular comment. I have better things to do with my time then obsess about what was. oh and if you don't care about 'fair weather', why do you even care what I write, let alone 'hitting' back?

Friday, May 24, 2002


Pdub and Jen are coming to town today!!! Hooorrraayy! I am soooooo very excited!! Oh -- before I forget, I caught a little bit of WWE Smackdown last night, WHAT IS WITH OLD GUY MCMAHON AND STACEY? OH OH OH and I went to KMart last night and I saw this movie that I haven't seen in the longest time, so I bought it. It's called Nothing but Trouble with Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, Dan Ackroid and Jon Candy. It's a good flick but I must warn you --- It's freaky/odd/scary/funny and you should only watch it if you don't mind being grossed out. :-)

Thursday, May 23, 2002

From Jen's Site

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Sergei Rakhmaninov.

I lived in the early Twentieth Century and was well known for my compositional, conducting, and piano skills, yet I am melancholy despite this talent. My famous works include my nearly-impossible piano concerti.

Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

Wednesday, May 22, 2002


i get weak in the knees
and i lose my breath
oh i try to speak but words won't come i'm so scared to death
when you smile that smile
the world turns upside down
whenever you come around.

-Vince Gill "Whenever You Come Around"
Now before I say anything I might regret...

I read some writings today and they made me tired. I think someone objected to one of my assholeish comments I wrote the other day. It really doesn't surprise me, I half expected it to arise. It was a bad day and I felt like an ass after I reading the sentence the next morning. But after reviewing some objections, I thought to myself, I'm kinda glad it's out there. The point is, don't sneer at me for writing something I felt. I know you've written things in the past that people had taken major objections to and now that someone may or may not have written something in reference to you, you act as though no one is allowed to have an opinion. I'm not gonna censor this site and you know you're not either. If you're mad that's fine...if you want to reference an analogy I wrote long ago that's fine's your site.
The day hasn't taken off right today

Ugh. I wanna move back up to school. I want to move into my house and relax. There's too much going on over here, it's wearing me out.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing
Just soaking up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
this world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Across a crowded room,
I know you know what I'm thinking
By the way I look at you
And when we're lying in the quiet and
no words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift

-Martina McBride

Monday, May 20, 2002

Ryan stopped in this morning cause he had to pick up an order from East Jordan Iron Works upstairs. He's so funny. I'm glad he stopped by, I wasn't having the best morning.

I got my fed check back today. WOOOWEEE! Time to save. Crap.

I am sooo sore. I need more advil, lots more. I feel like my back has been bent backwards, my arms yanked forward, and I've been doing leg lifts for the past month without stopage. :-)


Oh this is a weird post. I gotta go drop off a check.
This is long one.....

I had such a wonderful weekend. It had a rough beginning but eventually smoothed out by Sunday. We decided that because my mom was sick and it was predicted to be quite frigid, we'd stay at our cabin Friday night instead of camping like we planned. Well, as luck would have it, we ended up hitting a poor little deer at 60 mph about 10 miles from the cottage. My dad flipped when he saw the fist-sized hole it ripped through his bumper and when he noticed that it hit the small plastic panel in front the the door jam on the driver's side and that he could no longer open the door. When we finally got to the place, my dad made this awful comment, implying that it was my mom's fault for running down the dear because if she wasn't sick we wouldn't have taken that route, so we turned it into the joke of the weekend.

Saturday morning we left for the trailhead at 9am. It took us a good hour to get there and when we finally parked at a camp site, we stumbled upon some more bad luck. We unloaded the trailer and got out all of our gear for riding and started up some of the bikes. The air filter on my bike was horribly discolored and preventing the bike from turning over so my dad rubbed gas and oil through it to give it some kick. After we got that running, a DNR guy walked over to our campsite and told us we need to leave because he was having problems with ATV's running the area. Heated and offended, my dad pointed out, like a jackass, that motorcycles were not ATV's and that we had a state right to store our gear at that campsite due to the fact that our bikes were in total compliance with DNR regulations and we weren't causing much of a disturbance with our four four-stroke engines. But regardless, we packed up the bikes and moved to the day parking area down the street.

We had a nice ride in the morning but D and I were constantly stopping and waiting for my mom. She doesn't ride all that often and therefore doesn't get a lot of practice if any at all, so we understood. We couldn't help getting a little anxious towards the end of the ride however; it took us an a little under two hours to go less than 10 miles, so in the afternoon, D and I went out by ourselves. The plan was to get lost and I think we accomplished that with flying colors. We knew the trails but we just couldn't remember which way they went and what made it really weird, was that the same group of two-strokes passed us three times. For instance, we're sitting in an intersection between the single track we rode and a two-track. As D and I are talking we hear rev's from a little ways away. In the midst of moving our bikes out of the way of the next leg of the single track, we notice that these were the same guys that passed us a while back. D looks at me and says "wait a minute. Is that bad for us or bad for them?" These guys flew through the trails on their two-stokes, there was no way we could even hold a candle to their speed and power.

3 and a half hours later, D and I some how end up back at my dad's truck. No sooner we pull in, my mom tells us she got a ticket an hour prior to our return, for riding on a state road without a plate, less than a hundred feet from the truck. I guess she tried to explain, in her cracky voice (from the laryngitis), that she was exhausted and she couldn't physically take the last leg of the trail. The two DNR guys that pulled her over gave her a ticket anyway which infuriated my dad even more so than before. I was sittin on the gate of the trailer pulling off my steel toes and my dad walks over to join my mom in making fun of the "donut eating--good for nothing--pushy--stupid DNR guys". We had a good laugh at their expense but it wasn't without sensitivity. D and I kinda felt for the guys cause in the past couple of years we've been there, at times it's gotten pretty bad.

We headed to Fife Lake (outside of Traverse) on Sunday morning. My dad thought that those loops might be a little easier for my mom. Before we started down the trail, we opted to begin on opposite trailheads and meet in the middle of loop. But as it turns out, my parents jumped on loop #2 instead of loop #1 so we got a little confused when we got back to the car without passing them. About a half hour later, they stroll into the lot and see us chillin out, eatin pizza in our campin chairs. We offered my dad another ride but he wanted to eat his cookies and drink his beer instead, so we went out by ourselves again for a short little 4 mile ride loop. It was mad fun. That trail marked the first time ever, I've hit a single track in 3rd gear full throttle (bout 35mph), it was absolutley amazing.

After we finish loadin the bikes back into the trailer, my mom made a really odd comment involving trees, deer and her riding. D and I found out later that a pack of about 6 deer we running along side my mom while she rode the trails. It turns out that my dad had to lay on his little motorcycle horn to scare em away. I think the deer were out for my mom. :-)

Anyway, that was my weekend. If you made it this far, you deserve a present. Thank you!

Thursday, May 16, 2002

Things I've been meaning to say for a long time....

That's funny that you say fact, I think my neighbors heard me laugh. For the short while that I've known you, you've spent half that time feeling sorry for yourself.

Why didn't you ever write me back? I wrote you and sent you cards for two years. Wait no. You did write me back once to tell me that you're sorry you haven't written. My mistake. I forgot that I earned the 'old friend' title a long time ago.

Ok. It would be fine if I wasn't friends with her but I am. You don't even really know her. Yea, we all hung out when we were kids but you never see her anymore or talk to anyone she knows besides me. Ugh, I hate it when you try and tell me that she's not "allowed" to be herself, it's like she's an easy target for you cause she's weaker. She has a life you know and she has feelings. And so do I.

If you laugh during an argument one more time, I will seriously crack. You know that I love you cause your my own flesh and blood and I look up to you but you should also know that I can never get really close to you. I make the effort on some occassions, but until you figure out that I'm not a child, it'll never happen.

Oh you push the limits. A small part of me can't wait to see you in a couple weeks after reality strips you of the black beauty right outside your window.

Ah it feels a little better to get that off my chest.

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

It's the Simple Things

I spent most of my day yesterday test cutting some areas of a jobsite. I spent some of last night driving around by myself. I spent a lot of my morning listening to Kenny Chesney and Nonpoint and writing strongly worded letters to companies who don't cancel service after customer's call them twice a day for a month (ok I exaggerated a little but you get my point-- stupid pager). I spent a lot of time dwelling over unwanted results like getting turned down for an undergrad assistant opportunity or worrying about bills. I am spending a lot of time right now, thinking about this weekend. I don't care for anything else at the moment. I'm fixed in the excitement of being able to use my new steel toes this weekend, going to Vanderbilt MI instead of Atlanta MI, wearing my jersey, chillin out on a campsite, taking pictures up north, not having to pay for anything this weekend:-), and being one more weekend closer to moving back West. It's truly a man's boots are a boy's 6. :-)

Monday, May 13, 2002

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also notable on the 2002 bill: a big dose of Chicago dance music - a nod to that city's symbiotic relationship with Detroit techno - and a headlining appearance by Michigan funkateer George Clinton.

Shows not to be missed!!!!!!



Noon Gary Martin

1:30 TBA

3:00 Blake Baxter

5:30 Eddie Fowlkes

8:30 George Clinton



Noon Roy Davis, Jr.

2:00 Green Velvet (live)

3:30 Alan Oldham aka T-1000

6:00 Advent (live)

7:30 X Ecutioners

10:00 Aux Men featuring A Number of Names (live)


Noon Dennis Cox

2:00 Frankie Bones

4:30 K. Hand

6:30 Ray Bone

8:00 Colin Dale

Sunday, May 12, 2002

So light

I am so scared. I don't want to get hurt. I'm trying to believe this is different but I'm afraid. I feel so vulnerable right now. I want to scream and run to my cottage where no one else is around. That way I don't have to feel so naked. I've never gotten to this point before, no one has ever allowed me. But it's so nice. It's so comfortable and perfect. I am so happy and yet so frightened. So torn.

Thursday, May 09, 2002

It is 8am and I'm sitting in my office.....No one else is here, they all left for jobsites this morning. :-( bummer.

--number 4 & 2 --- ap's have been mailed!! 1/2 way done!

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

My List

Things to be completed by the start of the 2002 Fall Semester:

1-- get phone $a lot
2-- get motorcycle endorsment $25
3-- get new chest protector $100
4-- Join MCCC (MI cycle conservation club) $25
5-- help father load sailboat into marina --- and into slip $5 (for lunch)
6-- go camping same place as last year $100
7-- DEMF $20(fest is free but hemp necklaces and drinks cost $)
8-- Birthdays $40+
9-- biking $0
10- Blissfest $60+
11- go to Somerset and measure roof (yes I wrote 'measure roof') $0
12- 'eat at every single resturant in Royal Oak' challenge with Sobe $too much
13- maybe a trip to Canadia? $20 american $40 canadian
14- stop using credit cards $6.2 million (in interest from balances)
15- find furniture for next year $?
16- Dream Cruise with dad in his Mach 1 (if it's finished)-- $prolly a lot

These don't necessarily have to be done in order, but they have to be done. I'll let you know how close I am to being finished in further posts. :-)

Tuesday, May 07, 2002


And just when life seemed out of reach

cursed myself for the lack of speech

And then you smile that smile

Make me feel brand new

And I'm wonderin how I found a girl like you

A girl like you, is easy to love

a girl like you, must be sent from above.....

I'm so glad I found a girl like you
I meant to publish that last post yesterday, but I forgot. ooops!
Mother’s day – kinda

I played Euchre after dinner last night with all 3 of my grandparents. It was quite entertaining seeing as my mothers’ mother (aka “little grandma”) was a true novice. The game was still competitive though, little grandma was paired up with Kath “the game is my bitch” Duke. Now for the most part, I match my mom in skill and strategy, only she tends to be conservative and I am rather liberal in calls. But, I played opposite of my fathers’ mother (aka “big grandma”) who could very well be considered the Great White of all card sharks. I mean this woman could be in the movie Jaws if it was about card games. Our match ups could’ve made the game ridiculously unfair but Pipi (my grandpa) jumped in to steal a couple tricks, the lone ‘Martin Brody’ who can truly dispute the ability of my partner. Plus, I’m not really used to playing with conservatives; I usually play with ballsy folk, who order up holding a 10 and a queen, 4-suited. We ended up having to play three games to break a tie of which my partner and I broke. It was a pleasant end to a genial dinner.

The drive home from Kzoo was not nearly as dull as it always is. Cap and I caravanned all the way back, using two little FM walky-talky’s to chat with one another amid trucks. It was so fun! However, outside of Jackson, we both ran over what looked like a piece of plastic from a wheel well ripped from someone’s car, which kinda freaked me out. It was unavoidable though; traffic was in the right lane and the scrap plastic piece was in the middle of the left lane. I really hope it didn’t do any damage to the underbody of my truck. Still the ride was cool, besides that isolated incident.

Friday, May 03, 2002

So I thought today I would just write ---- I'm setting rules for myself, I can't erase anything I write right now..........So here goes one long run on sentence.....

My friend called me last night. OH!! I got was so thrilled to hear from her. She and I played on Varsity Soccer together in high school and we both went through the same party atmosphere and partied with the same people. At 5:15 she calls and asks if I wanted to swing by Marian and catch a game in 15 minutes. I rushed to get dressed for the cold weather and flew out the door. She gets there just before second half and we start to remenice about the "good ole days". The question comes to her as we joke about Popov parties, she asks "when do you think you partied the hardest?" After I gather myself from the story that peceeded the question, I replied "dude! Sophomore year of high school!" She breaks out in laughter and says "oh my god mee tooo!! But when I tell people that, they either don't believe or they just give me a look." Oh she hasn't changed at all. I love that girl. She's my Uke (u-key) friend---(she's ukrainian) and always will be. Oh it was so great to catch up with her, it was just like old times--like we've only been gone for a week. She had mentioned something about wanting to come up to Kzoo this weekend on Friday night. Oh my lord, if you're in Kzoo right now, reading this, and she comes up Friday night, you will fall off your chair when you meet her. She's such an awesome girl.

I called the only ex that I'm still currently really good friends with, HyprHypo, last night. He paged me while I was watching the game and I couldn't get to a phone so I waited till I got home......which was an hour later. I picked up the phone, dialed, said hello, and one of the first things that come out of his mouth after I told him that I'm getting a phone, was "HOLY SHIT. I DON'T HAVE TO WAIT A DECADE FOR YOU TO CALL ME BACK!" I laughed --- but turned red on the same token, I rarley respond to people calls right away if a phone is not readily available. Anyways, so I was talkin to him for a few minutes and I discover that he's at his 'boring' job at the IM building at MSU. Then, come to find out, he's been at the bar all day and he's drunk and at work. So I told him he was a drunk and he replied "I prefer to be called a wino thankyou very much." I laughed cause he's a dork. :-) He tried, repeatedly, to get me to come up to State last night, but it didn't work......ha as if I had to tell you 'it didn't work' --- 'tried' already implied that it didn't......jack what the hell are you talking about....damn it I don't know.....well shut up and keep writing...and get back to the story...ok..fine........So yea, it was a quality conversation.

I talked to P-Dub the other night. We had a nice long conversation, it was a perfect ending to a boring day, if that makes any sense whatsoever. We decided that in the future, I'm gonna be "JML : Attorney at Law" and he is gonna own his own custom shop and call it "P-Dubs" and he was gonna be the 'Jesse James" of cars. THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. I kinda wanna be a muppet though. Not literally a muppet, like fur and all, but I want to have the hand that controls them. But not for national audiences, just for little shows around Cadillac (refer to 'Revised' 4/20/02). But I'm getting away from my point.......I'm so excited to visit P-Dub this weekend! Ah! Sooooo great!

So yea.. I think I'm done writing now. Oh wait. I have a surprise. Heehehhehhe. Oh and hopefully I'm getting my phone soon. Then I will call everyone and tell them my phone number. YEA!