Monday, December 30, 2002

Two months and one day -- the countdown begins.

damn people have to work tomorrow. most of them should not work for the next two days. except for police officers and liquor store attendants, they have to stay on duty; proudly serving the public for peace and merry drunkeness. but that's it. people working for discount tire, blockbuster, food dance, papa johns, grand rapids single dances, and other silly places should not be obligated to work. now that would just be silly. i feel silly. silly silly silly....that's a great word...silly...ha.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

As you may notice, tis the day before Christmas. I should be participating in the magnificent tradition of fast and preparation for the birth of the Christian Messiah, reciting prayers like the Hail Mary, Our Father...Notre Pere..(I know it better in french thanks to high school - much appreciated Madame Goodman) or Almighty God, and singing O Holy Night and Silent Night. Buuuuuttt nope, I have to go downtown to finish roof inspections on a building that is more than 100,000 square feet. Dah. At least I might have more money in the account next semester. Time to go. Later.

Friday, December 20, 2002

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste some time with you

Thursday, December 19, 2002

This is almost surreal

To start, I came back from a spectacular vacation in Steamboat, CO. We flew out of Detroit last Thursday afternoon and landed in Denver en route to see my aunt (from my dads side) and her new little boys, Jack and Tyler. My dad rented a Windstar of which he realized later, couldn't possibly fit all 8 bags and 6 people - so he rented a 15 passenger van...it was nice, we all got our own seat for the drive downtown. Greeting my aunt with hugs and kisses that were far passed overdue, we were introduced to my 7 month old cousins and some (mmmmm) pizza. I attached to Jack...I couldn't help it, he was so adorable :-) I mean who could give him up when he falls asleep in your arms? Anyway - so after an hour or so, we headed out for the two hour drive to Steamboat (at 11pm CO time) but not before we had ample warning from my aunt that our car was rumored to be difficult to control in bad weather. ha.

I was so tired but I couldn't sleep...bout every 3 seconds Adam would brake for Elk. I felt like a zombie, staring out the window drooling cause I can't stay awake and I can't sleep. As we creeped into the valley of Steamboat Springs, we turned pale with shock. My dad and brother switched driving bout halfway through and I'm certainly glad they did. What looked like a pack of Elk ran into the road....my dad slammed on the brakes, swerved to the left - putting the bus on three wheels, then swerved back to the right - nearly slaughtering at least one Elk, then catching himself and driving on. In the midst of the 4 second chaos, I grabbed the skis before they nailed my mom in the head, hurting my elbow. The pain subsided though as we all exhaled in bewilderment.

The next few days weren't as eventful however, but definitely not boring either. All three ski-able days were a beautiful 30-40 degrees, sunny but still powdery, and overall gorgeous weekend. I know 30 degrees doesn't sound warm but when you're wearing 4 layers of clothing - it's pretty damn hot. One bummer though, not all of the lifts and runs were open, so if you wanted to venture out to the double blacks (black diamond - expert), you had to settle for the lower - reachable by a combination of other hills - half, or you could go ole' skool and hike the two peaks (with the lift open you only had to hike one small hill). I decided against it, recalling 5 years ago when Adam and his friend Brian made me hike em both; cause that was the only way to get there and they liked fresh fresh powder. So Dave and I decided to do something called ROLEX the entire weekend and the lower half of the double blacks.

Ok, if you ever encounter a run called ROLEX or THREE OCLOCK or OOPS yea, don't even give it a second thought - just walk away JUST WALK AWAY. We video taped our venture, well at least Dave's venture, down Rolex. I must admit, the tape is funny but I'm not doing it again without skiing a few weekends before Steamboat. Yea ok, I'm a good skiier - I used to race in high school and I've been carving since I was able to walk - but hell if I'm putting myself through that pain again. I used ski every year, then after I stopped playing soccer, I realized that if you haven't been working out before you go - you're not gonna be able to jump/turn like you used to. Those bumps (mogules) were hard and brutal. I fell twice and then some guy told me that I was looking pretty good before I fell the second time - so I felt I was on a show - so I fell again :-). Good thing I didn't get on camera - cause the second time was a dooozey. I flipped and stabbed my skis into the snow, so that my legs were bent with my feet underneath my butt. I couldn't move for a couple minutes cause I couldn't figure out how to uncross my skis and pull them out of the ground without falling backwards down a sttteeeep run. Whew.

We left Steamboat and headed back to the Denver airport early Monday morning. We would've like to see my uncle (from my mothers side) but my mom forgot to tell him an ETA so we missed him. It was alright though, we were pressed for time anyway. We got to the airport, returned our bus, got on the plane, and slept the whole 2.5 hour flight. My dad is so cute...he reached back into our row and grabbed my mom's hand because he gets nervous on flights. It was cute. :-) I am so glad to be in Detroit now though. I have worked so hard to be sane for the last few weeks and that vacation rescued me from the brink. Now that I'm back, I can concentrate on Christmas and making money.

Ah and for the title of this blog. It still hasn't sunk in yet - I got the highest GPA in my ENTIRE school career this past semester. I got a 3.9. I can't believe that is on my transcript now, it just doesn't seem real. whoa.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Welcome to Hell week

1. took notes on chapters 9-16 in french for a total of 8-9 hours
2. read 9 chapters of mus152 and memorized 60 different songs/artists and what major events happened in music over the last 50 years.
3. reviewed specific laws in Michigan and memorized all.....example, the difference and strict definition of Involuntary manslaughter vs. First Degree Murder vs. negligent homicide with felonious assault
4. read and took notes for 484 pages of juvenile delinquency -- pages 194-484 within the last two days totalling over 10 hours...
5. will begin to study 80 listed subjects in criminal process for a 10am test tomorrow morning....

there's nothing like listening to your roommate scream "i'm done!!!" while knowing you still have two more to go. :-( don't hate me if I end up in a mental institution.

Monday, December 09, 2002

Kelly Osborne? Joan Jett? I think we have a match ladies and gentlemen. :-)

Friday, December 06, 2002

Sorry bout the previous entries, I had a really bad day yesterday. I'm tryin to keep myself up though, but the pressure's still hangin over my head...I just feel like I'm in this huge cardboard box and I don't know which way is up............on a better note, I think I might start goin to church again.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

I have a feeling she and I won't be as close as we used to be. It's ok, she's got other things to do, I'm not as worried as I thought I would be. Just feeling a bit of a loss I guess, and a little alone. It was a great run though, maybe one day I'll get to tell her.
breath and stop. breath and stop. breath and stop. no more breath left. eyes close. rest. stop.

don't you see that the charade is over. don't you see? don't you see? I heard about your regrets, I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.

i'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers i'll be alright when my hands get warm. ignoring the past - you're calling to late - get rid of what you remember - forget - why did i do this to me?

Sunday, December 01, 2002

It smells of exploding batteries and toast in my room right now. Odd combo. Anyway, so I was thinking about something interesting earlier tonight but I am failing to remember what exactly I was....so I'll just write until I think of it. I watched Black Hawk Down last night and I thought it was a good movie. As Robbie explained to me the next morning - it was an accurate portrayal of the longest gun fight/fuck up in US Marine history....I guess I can't really greatly appreciate something that utterly confuses me. Moreover, something that displays an obvious plot of A vs. B but gives you a half a million people to recognize and remember throughout the movie. I enjoyed the story but there wasn't really any character development with the exception of well ... no, no exceptions; they were all just tired at the end. Oh wait maybe the general guy -- after 19 Rangers/pilots were killed in an unauthorized raid he pursued. Ah and I remember what I originally wanted to talk about...I was shoveling the driveway yesterday and I thought about New Years '02. Ryan and I came up here a couple days before New Years Eve. My truck surprisingly plowed through the thick snow on the driveway, millimeters from the top of my wheelwell's. Ryan and I cleared a path for Jon then all of us spent practically all night shoveling the driveway, over and over again. Finally new Years Eve. I think about who I saw there. Jon, Ryan, Rob, Laura, Jess, Paul, Laura, Tre, Joe, JoeD, Yerty, Bryan, .......I can't remember anymore....I thought about what could've been.....remember how chaotic it was? Kinda funny really....but what I remember the most is that I thought this year would basically, well really, I thought it would suck my butt. however, it actually didn't turn out to be half bad.

What's different from last year:
1. With the exception of Sarah, who Jen and I contacted/met through email, I knew who I was moving in with.
2. Jen works a lot more and we spend a lot less time together. - btw i'm sad about that :-(
3. I know Dana and Paul a LOT better than just knowing them because they lived down the hall.
4. I actually KNOW my neighbors :-)
5. I have dark brown hair this year.
6. I've been dating someone for 8 months -- holy schnikes that's a hella long time.
7. I'm gonna turn 21 in T-3 months exactly.
8. Because of my punk loving boyfriend, I've become a Fenix Tx/Something Corporate/Good Charlotte/Ataris/Finch/NOFX junkie.
9. My family is accusing me of corrupting my little frosh cousin -- which is entirely NOT true, I did not make her do a keg stand...she did it all by herself :-)
10. I actually have money this year.
11. I met 4 cj majors - toni (who is also in my fren101 class), cindy, pat("the lamp"), and coryden("laura croft").
12. Karin is back! Wahoo! :-)
13. I'm going to Steamboat at the end of Finals week in December.
14. I found out I have to take 18 credits a semester next year to graduate in April.
15. I haven't been to the hospital more than once. :-)
16. I feel smart.
17. I live in a house.

Ok I'm done. :-) Enjoy the rest of the year!!!!