Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Ok. So I didn't beat the 3.9 I got last semester but I didn't do as bad as I probably should have.

SOC 563 - A - Graduate lecture class, awesome
SOC 282 - B - Methods thank god I got B I hated this class
PSCI 422 - A - Civil Rights/Liberties - I was 7 days late turning in a paper - never went to class - still got an A - I love it.
SOC 304 - B - 2 points away from getting a A/B but I really don't care - I woulda been happy with a C - this class was lame.
ADA 225 - A - drug class - awesome - loved the prof - hated the quizzes.

Total = 3.56

It's not bad, in fact, given that this was my hardest semester, I'm very proud to still make the Dean's list. My cummulative is .02 points away from latin honors - I'm so excited - well maybe I'm only excited cause last semester my mom told me that a 3.9 wasn't good enough, and my mom was this close from graduating with honors...and if I keep it at a 3.5 I'll make latin honors and laugh .. muahahahhahaha..and tell her that her 3.48 wasn't good enough..muhahahhahha....Or maybe, if I want to live of course, I won't do that.

So all in all the day's been good. It's rainy, I love it when it's rainy; I have a steady inflow of work that I'm not doing, I like that; and lil dave is fixing my rotors today......this day is good.

-J rock
It's mine. I finally pushed him to the limit. Except now I feel like I'm scooter & pdub which is a good feeling but bad kinda too. I'm looking at this thing and I'm like "oh I can get a new pipe and header" or "oh let's strip it and put on new decals and a black seat instead of gay purple" or "oh let's rebuild the carb" or "oh wait we can bore it out just a few mm's" or "oh new dunlop knobies will look great on this thing" or "damn it I don't have enough money to throw at this thing".......DOH! But let's just bask in the glory of assuming the insurance, ORV stickers, license, and title just for a moment. It's sooo good it's so good.....too bad I don't have a bank account anymore but that's ok. I have a title in my name (ok not really officially till friday but soon enough). This is the single most greatest bestest moment in my small little insignificant life I LOVE IT.

Now I gotta look busy again.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

It's the boo-ya

I got home yesterday and slept from 7:30 - 12(ish) then from 12:30 to 7:15 this morning. Oh it was so nice. I was exhausted yesterday at work though, I'm not yet used to getting up at 7:15 then off to work at 7:30 to get here at 8 and not leave till 5. Today though, if you couldn't already tell with my blatant rambling, I'm awake and ready to go.

My "daughter" has got to be so mad at me right now. Last thursday I took her out and she got all pissy when I wouldn't tell her how to spell the word 'secret', so she played the fun game of 'how long can I stretch Jackie's patience' when she refused to accept that I have to go home for the summer. So I told her I would call her last Friday and I forgot. I hope she's not too pissed - but how pissed can you be when you're only 7? eh hopefully it's not gonna be too bad if I call her tonight. doh.

I have to go do some maintenance inspections on some banks today with my dad. I wish I could do them by myself...there's like 16 located anywhere from Flint to Jackson to Westland to Dundee and back up to St. Clair. I could get those done in like two days. Speaking of pops, I think he finally realized I'm not in line to take over the business. First year of college he's teaching me the in's and out's of the unix network, the functionality of certain systems and why we have them, sending me to jobs on the zug, telling me not to get a cj degree - just a general business one, and making me site manager - aka 'we're not gonna get sued cause she's taking pictures' girl. At first I thought he was trying to kill me but now I see the true nature of his intentions. My response : oh no pops, not gonna do it. For some reason gray hair and 80 hour weeks until I'm 50 aren't that appealing to me. Plus, roofing is....well...roofing. I don't want to be tied at the hip to a business - like it simply cannot run if I'm not there.

Anyway, yea I better look busy.

Monday, April 28, 2003

I really should stop checking my email 67 times a day but I can't help it. All I have scheduled for today is backlogging banks and finishing drawings a started back in December. I hate CAD. I've always hated CAD. Ever since I've started working with this stupid program 3 years ago, it's never gotten any better. YOu'd think someone would make it more interesting but no, just as boring as it has always been. people if you don't know how to use CAD - don't be down, you're lucky. I'm about to kill my machine in a second.

boo boo kitty fuck. Canadian frenchies what.
I'm gonna miss you too. ;-)
How did I know you were gonna write something? :-)

Finally at work, happy to get a pay check and be able to pay bills - YEA! Not really excited I have to spend the entire summer over here but I'll deal I guess. Tom just walked in to say "so you're a big bad ass senior now huh?" I suppose. My mom mentioned something last night about that too - it's not a particularly GREAT feeling because that just means I have to participate in the real world soon but again, I'll deal I guess.

I should've stretched and stayed in Kzoo. Damn it.

Saturday, April 26, 2003

To quote Black Sheep, "engine engine numba nine, on the new york transit line, if my train goes off the track pick it up pick it up...back on the scene crispy and clean, you can try but don't work cause you can't intervene, we be the outcasts down for the settle, won't play rock won't play the pebble, open the door you best believe we'll slide through it swwifftly...."

Yea that really has nothing to do with anything...except that that's what I think about when I listen to Monie Love. Yea that doesn't really make any sense either.

Ok now that I've utterly bemused myself, I have a confession to make. Although the smartest thing I can do for myself is go home, work for 15 weeks, come back here and have money to spend...I don't really want to. Don't get me wrong, I love my parent's house but I like mine too. For once, I'd love to have a summer where I feel like "hey this is my home - this is what I pay for, this is where I should live" ... but I can't. I hoped that maybe this year I might get some sort of job here, but nothing that I've looked at will give me what I get at home; free food, guaranteed 40 hours, and the ability to take a few days off (maybe getting paid for them too) with the vacation days I've saved up for the last three years. DAH.

I am so hungry, I hope Bumstead gets here soon. The chicken that's grilling across the street, outside the little Mexican resturant, is making me oh so hungry.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

My highest aspirations

1. I wanna be Nelly; so I could say "I need two perrs...arre force ones" and rock the band-aid on my left cheek.
2. I wanna be Osker's dancer - "blahblahblah...blahblahblah...now i'm ok...blahblahblah" (punks) :-)
3. I wanna be Tom Morello (I think that's how you spell his name)
4. I wanna go to a pub with a cowboy hat and chaps and sing "in the year of our lord eighteen hundred and six..."
5. I wanna make colorblind people see color (that's for you foster)
6. I wanna stand in front of a fan, in front of a green screen and make it as if I was standing on a cliff screaming
7. I wanna get slippery and roll around in a room full of pizzas - with a gynormus tv facing the floor from the ceiling.
8. I wanna have iced up wrists :-)
9. I wanna ride a waverunner in my parents pool like P.duddy (ok not really)
10. I wanna defend someone in a fight - but a real fight, not like the ones in high school where you just get punched in the back and head because chicks can't control their flying fists and the girls are like 80lbs. - let me just add, if your 80lbs. don't tell me you'll "get" my friend or "kick" my "ass"...cause unless i'm on crutches or have broken arms - I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen. Skank. (sorry high school memories flooding back) :-)
I cannot believe this day came. I'm wrought with disbelief. I'm done. This is quite the bewildering feeling that's coming over me...I hoped and prayed and the day came! Wait.....it's turning into immense happiness........YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! YEEEESSSSS!!! WWWAAAAHOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Trapt makes me feel strong. I haven't felt this confident since I played soccer. On the field, I was the strong chick who may have been capable of better had she decided to play for Western. This song makes me wanna work out - lift - scream - push a car up a hill - run for miles - box - play some football - jump on the bike with all my gear and ride those tough trails till the sun goes down.....HEADSTRONG I'LL TAKE YOU ON.

When I come back from this summer, my arms are gonna be stronger - I want the muscular back I used to have. RAHH!!. :-)

O'Connor-Rannigan

On the fourth of July eighteen hundred and six
We set sail from the sweet cove of Cork
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks
For the grand city hall in New York
'Twas a wonderful craft, she was rigged fore-and-aft
And oh, how the wild winds drove her.
She'd got several blasts, she'd twenty-seven masts
And we called her the Irish Rover.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Do you ever feel like you push so hard you actually let go?

I love Michigan but I really want to get away from all these obligations -- who knew you actually had to "work" at school.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

You know how to play Euchre.

I played with her. She deals cards without a second thought - she doesn't know what to look for. She's holding 5 cards in her hand - she sucks in her lip a bit, breaths once or twice - then looks up at her partner. She's calls it up - you know she has at least one high, maybe two - you can tell she's a bit conservative, she probably never takes a chance when she's three suited with a 9 and a Q in trump. She's throws the right - looks at her partner and smiles.

I played with him. He's a little tricky. He knows what the cards are gonna look like before he puts em on the table. He's waiting for your cut - he tosses out the cards like he's in the clear but you notice his eyes and hands as he straightens the deck out and flips the first card - you know what he knows now. He calls it up on the black with a 9 and A in hand - his partner has the high cards, he'll just set em up to take em down.

I played with her. She takes some risks you can tell - especially after she eyes you when she puts the cards on the table. She's not that good in dealing yet but she knows what she's got and she's gonna tell you. Down goes the 9 in a black - ah so she's making room for trump in hand. You can tell right away she didn't think that K was gonna fly on the first round - unless she knew the A was hidden.

I played with her too. She's easy. You know she's holding an A and a right and you've got the K and the left - how you gonna take a third? you throw the left - she's gonna throw the right, and she does. Next play your partner throws high off suit, playing into your hand, so you throw off suit and she throws the A to win it - the K's free to grab the third. Easy - it's happened. You can get her to lose when she calls up on a trump while holding both bowers - make her play em on nontrump cards.

I wish life was this easy for me to understand. Maybe then I'd be cool.

Monday, April 14, 2003

Descibing this semester in one teary event

Last week, I had a total of 2 papers - one 12 page dissertation-like research project and one 5 page summary of the studies of the nonwestern world - and one test, dealing with analysis of data collection methods. In the midst of this, I also had a 5 page paper that was due on the 8th of which I failed to recognize. I was under the impression that this detailed explanation of the legal methods and intellect of Justice Byron White was due on or before the day of our final so you can imagine my surprise when I learned that I'm going to be 7 days late in turning it in. I flipped. I had a plan this week; I was going to finish a take home, 10 page final for my SOC 563 class, write my Justice paper and study for Monday's finals but that changed this afternoon. No one was home, so I ran over to Discount to see Paully and with tears in my eyes, told him my little mishap. Within the same hour, I talked to my mom for some reassurance as well. I just want to say thank you to both for being so supportive - in helping me through my little crisis. As of right now, I'm half way to three quarters through with my essay and holding an email from my professor saying "don't worry about it, just hand it in tomorrow". I cannot wait to finish out the semester - though forgetting my assignments is rare those little stressors have been frequent these past 15 weeks. And I'm just glad I have those people in my life that are willing to go out on a limb to relieve my anxiety or at least help me through it all. Thank you.

Saturday, April 12, 2003

K and I went on a 7mile walk today on the Kal-Haven trail. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and I was able to vent some frustrations that had I'd bottled up for a long time. I feel better. Physically and mentally tired but better nonetheless. I should go for walks more often.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

can the child in my heart rise above?
can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
can I handle the seasons of my life?

5, 4, 3, 2, ....Annnnd ACTION.....

"Move over Detroit, make way for the hardcore DEMFer's. Yes DEMF is returning to our beloved Hart Plaza for the fourth year! I expect some Chicago 'ground' native cats to be there and some real spinner DEEtroit freaks - so all you rave kids and house beaters alike better be stepped all three days! Grab the binkies, Detroit shirts, rock the phat pants, and get ready to dance. Oh and make sure to support your local liquor store (Randolph & Larned)! 'Spectator' beware, you may think you're cool but we all know who you are - see yall ravers at the Tower!!"

Detroit is my lover. Scratch that, Detroit spinners are my lovers. Kiss me I'm an electronica fan. :-)

Monday, April 07, 2003

Person A : So you've got the before-finals stress to eh?
If you put it that way, I've been stressing for finals for the last fifteen weeks.

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

How does he know? He looked at me as I was packing up to leave at 5:15 today, and he said:

"I hope you get an A on this. You know what your doing even though you can't explain it" (grin) "How'd you do on the fist test"
"scored in the 80's I think - I mean I was disappointed but not surprised. I didn't give the book more than a glimpse"
"good, so you still have a shot for the A. I'm glad, I need someone to impress me and you look like you have some good ideas"

He humbles me. I rarely speak aloud in this class because he picks at your answers, turns your cheeks red and makes you wish you'd never answered in the first place. He's quite the ADHD type prof but encouraging nonetheless...maybe he's sees something I don't - or maybe he's just trying to make me feel good about myself, I don't know but whatever he's doing...it's working.