Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Well kids, I have to say it. I love the winter but I just have to say it. I can't wait til summer. There I said it. I don't want the winter to just up and leave, it's not like that - I only want to be able to say that I'm leaving for Traverse, Baldwin, Tomahawk, Grayling, or Black Lake for the weekend and that I'll be back on Monday. That's it. That's all I want. Today something inside of me is fighting to get out and ride. I close my eyes and all I can think about is slipping into my brand new pair of M1's, T-30's, and brand new black and blue jersey, then clipping my Fly racing plastic around my upper body and pulling the strap tight under my chin after fitting my head into my helmet. God I love that first touch - when the tires hit the dirt - and you can feel your hands grip tighter as the engine explodes with speed. You feel so high and mighty with your back straight as an arrow, keeping your body centered and perfect......it's almost like ballet, it requires such strength and precision to able to hit every turn and float over every whoop so that you can fly smoothly through the foresty air. Oh but it's so wonderful when you push and push until you realize you're not afraid of anything - then the world becomes an oyster. And even as your muscles weaken from all of the fun, you can still find energy by burning off the toxins of social and physical life. I've never felt more pleased to return to chaos than I do after one of these weekends. Oh if only I could be leaving for one now.

Man, someone really musta slipped some gas into my coffee this morning.

Monday, December 29, 2003

I feel better today.

I wish I had 3d capablities in CAD.

I had a dreammare (def. a little scary-but-not-really dream) that I was a project manager last night - the scary part was that I actually enjoyed it.

I need to jump into a workout routine and stick to it. I haven't been in shape in a long time.

"cowboys like us sure do have fun, racin the wind, chasing the sun, take the long way around back to square one, today we're just outlaws out on the run."

I miss the old gang. Three Pimps and some crack whores. Ah. Good times.

Paneling. God I hate paneling.

I need to do some more volunteering - I don't do enough.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Ok so my lungs have felt a little sore today and I've got a slight headache but I didn't really think that I had any real illness (on account of my Dad telling me over and over again that it was something I ate that caused my sudden onset of puking). Well that is until I looked up symptoms of the flu. Did you know that the flu is actually a respiratory illness? Did you know that you can contract the flu from touching something that is infected and then touching you mouth or nose? I had no idea it's a respiratory sickness. I thought it was just a throwing up/stomach thing but as I understand, you contract it though inhaling the germs and then it takes about 1-4 days to process in your system - then you get sick - then you are contagious for about 7 days after you get over it. Crazy huh? Guess you learn somethin new everyday.

Crap. Maybe I shouldn't be here right now.
Ouch! My head hurts! I need love. :-)
I'm back at work. I feel better. At least 8:18am today is nothing like 8:18am yesterday. By this time yesterday it was probably my 4th or 5th time throwing up and let me tell ya, if it's your 4th or 5th time in the same day - you're prolly not having a good day :-( Oh man - I started drinking water just so that I could throw SOMETHING up when my body started going into convulsions. By the 9th and last time, at about noon, all I could think about was "how can people voluntarily do this? How can people with bulimia stand this?" Seriously, I don't understand it.....that hurt so bad - I mean my teeth, throat, cheeks, stomach, back, legs, and arms all hurt like hell I could hardly move. And regardless of whether or not I had the flu, I couldn't see myself conciously and voluntarily walking into the bathroom, sticking my fingers down my throat, and throwing up a stomach full of digesting food. I'd rather be 5'5" & 300lbs than feel like I had to do that everyday. It hurts!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Finally, again, the end of the day returns....how simply wonderful it is :-). I did some tutorials this afternoon so that I can refine my skills in computer aided design (CAD) and some other aspects of architectual drafting. I only have a 2d program so it kinda sucked - yet still refreshingly complicated....it was nice. I actually thought about taking some classes at OCC after I graduate so that I could get some sort of certificate to legitimize my experience, but I decided that I'll have to think long and hard about spending money on something I may not use before I just sign up. Eh. Oh well.

Have I mentioned how good it feels to be in Detroit right now? The more time here, the more I become fond of life style. I mean I have always had this city life before I ventured out to the west side of the state but since the beginning of my college career, especially this past semester, I've grown to miss it more than usual. If I wasn't staying with my parents - if I was living in my own house - I think I would be much more pleased with living here in addition to how I feel about it now. eh I'll talk more about it tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

I finished all of my Christmas shopping last night, all in one fell swoop. I'm so excited. I hate the mall around Christmas, especially Somerset. I stopped there first last night and I found myself immersed in bitter competition with soccer moms and old timers for a place to park.....just like last year. 7 million parking spots - one would think there would be ample parking but no. Well at least I only have to do it once this year.

Ah and now it's quittn' time! I love this part of the day. I can finally look at the files on my desk and say "I'll take care of it tomorrow" :-) I can jump in my truck, speed off down 8 Mile and onto the Lodge, and then I can change into my pj's and hang out for the rest of the night. I don't really have to think about work or what I got last semester (grades are available now).....I can just concentrate on TV. Yea.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

I rushed towards gate C48 and nabbed a couple of seats in front of the window before boarding flight 1296 to Detroit. I love the Denver airport, it's beautifully organized, so much so that it's almost poetic. Baggage claim and ticket counters are arranged in one building, the terminals are separated into 3 others, and they're all efficently connected by a short subway style train. It's so......shall we say marvelously "user-friendly"? Indeed. Even Denver's courtesy service between car rental stations is well organized, out of the way, and notably splendid. It's light years ahead of Detroit.......but I digress. As I sat down to read the paper and waited for the rest of the crew, I remembered to only save 4 other seats. My little brother, I thought for a moment, is becoming more and more estranged from this family.

Adam and I fought for the window seat as I chewed up two of my last 5 pieces of Dramamine. Ha! I won. Gazing out the cabin window, we both felt the uneasiness of what it meant to fly home. I was supposed to be happy, I was supposed to feel excited to get back to Christmas, Detroit, and school, but I wasn't. I got on the plane, sat down, and my brother said "Jack, I don't want to go home yet". I knew what he meant but I agreed with him not because I wanted stay on vacation, but because I didn't want to return to reality. I didn't want come home so that I could listen to people fight or rant about why they fight or even drunk people tell me "[you] can go fuck [yourself]". Who wants to come back to this? After spending a couple of days in snowy CO skiing - who the hell would want to fly into an ancient, chaotic airport, spend 45 minutes loading and unloading baggage, and drive 45 minutes back home only to hear conspiracy theories concerning a sibling's social or familial exchanges, arguments as to who's theory is right, and someone saying "well why don't you just go fuck yourself"??????? I want to go away - for more than four days this time....I don't want to deal with this.

In times like these, all I want to do is walk away. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of fucking politics.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

I was supposed to take the LSAT this weekend.....note the word "supposed".....don't ask just know. :-(

Thursday, December 04, 2003

I probably should have started all this work before and during thanksgiving break but I did not. all blame is on me and I willing accept it. dah well - i guess it'll be an interesting week.

besides that, I'm cool. well....I was going to write something about ..... you'll see tomorrow.
Sorry joey .... i couldn't resist!

Jacqueline is the #86 most common female name.
0.228% of females in the US are named Jacqueline.
Around 290700 US females are named Jacqueline!
source namestatistics.com

Marie is the #44 most common female name.
0.379% of females in the US are named Marie.
Around 483225 US females are named Marie!
source namestatistics.com

I never think of these crazy new things.......crown him, he is the king, king joseph.