Thursday, December 30, 2004

I'm so disgusted with the myself and the world today, I kinda wish I could hang out at the moon for a while.
I am so glad this is the last full work day of the last week of 2004. This year SUCKED in business. Absolutely, positively SUCKED. I wanna go home so bad right now.
So I called this guy yesterday to get a quote on something and I asked him if he'd like to stop by to take a look at a set of drawings. He tells me that he might be able to come by this afternoon before we close at 2pm. I paused for a second and then said "we don't close at 2." This guy's like "oh come on, you guys won't work much past 2 right? It's a holiday weekend." I responded in this 'you better believe it' tone: "Dude we're open till 5 AND half day tomorrow." I hear silence on the phone for a quick second, "Ok I'll be there by four." I hung up feeling a little overworked.

I swear the crappiest part of this whole business is that because some people in this industry are untrustworthy, the few honest people left are fucked. For example, if you tell a professor that your dog ate your homework and he/she isn't going to believe you. Why? Because a few untruthful people told the same story when it didn't actually happen. Now take this sheet of paper I have in front of me. I wrote, "it took us 16 hours to get this thing installed". I got a letter back yesterday that says "I say it only took you four hours". Hmmm. Uhh Hmmmmm. Really? Did it? I didn't know you worked here - when did you become our superintendent? It's like the professor saying "ok fine, despite my best efforts I'll take your word for it but I don't think your dog ate all your homework, he only ate a quarter of it." What IN THE BLUE FUCKING HELL.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

I was scrolling through blogs and I found this one. She seems pretty cool.

Tired Mom
There are only three more days left in 2004. THREE. I can't believe it. Everything's happened so fast! I mean.......

This time last year, I was driving back to kzoo for New Years.
7 days from today, last year, Karin was 22.
12 days from today, I called my Grandmother at 11pm to tell her I was engaged.
I bought my wedding dress about two months from today.
I turned 22 62 days from today.
Lindsay celebrated her 22nd 91 days from today.
I graduated with a BA 114 days from today last year.
I started my career as a PM 116 days from today.
Rob and Laura - 121 days til marriage.
Roxanne was 22 157 days from now.
193 days from today I closed on my first house.
Paul moved in 243 days from today.
In 303 days I would've had my marriage license.
In 323 days, it was validated in front of 200 some people.
And finally, I was probably getting ready to leave at about this time, 362 days from today - December 28th, 2003.

Crazy year eh? I thought so.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Note to Self

Remember to say congratulations to:
John & Michelle --- 2005
John & Amanda --- 2006?
Sarah & Pat --- 2005?
Joe D & Heather --- 2006
Scott & Lindsay --- 2005

I better start preparing - anyone got any Guiness?

The roads were nearly empty this morning. I guess no sensible business person comes in to work between such grand holidays like Christmas and New Years. Note to self: eventually become sensible.
Congratulations Joe D and Heather!!
May you have a very merry engagement!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Congratulations SARAH & PAT
Happy Engagement to you!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Well my mom's b-day celebration was great. I love it when people come over.....except when I clean every plate in the house and the dishes are still only half done.

Ok I feel I need to mention this because this is kind of a big thing for me and where better to talk about it right? I've been asked to go to a reunion dinner with my old teammates from the Birmingham Blazers. ...Flashback...

++My coach Kevin once told me that he cut a good player so I could be on the team and if I didn't perform well, I'd be in the same place she was.
++My coach Kevin told me I was a terrible player...almost every day.
++My coach Kevin wouldn't acknowledge me after I scored the goal that put us in the State Finals.
++My coach Kevin used to send girls home crying after practice.
++My coach Kevin told me I needed to be on the field a week after a ligament-tearing ankle injury.
++My coach Kevin is why I still have incredibly high standards for myself.
++Unless Kevin liked you, you were hated or ignored by other girls.
++Kevin once told us, after we received the trophy for being 2nd in the State, that "we did't win the silver, we lost the gold". Our practices doubled.
++I didn't have many friends then.
++Soccer was my life, support system, and reason I can never comfortably say I did well at anything unless it was perfect.

There are more but those are the dramatic of all memories. The whole team bought into Kevin's whole nazi regime. Everyone was afraid to tell their parents because this team was supposed to be the best and the best 'don't have dirty little secrets' - just pure talent and direction. The team was difficult to get on but once you were accepted you worked you're ass off with no complaints. One complaint and you're hated and eventually kicked off. I'm not kidding either. If he liked you or you're parents, he saw room for you to improve - if he didn't, he felt you'd never get better. I don't care to see him or anything related to him. Not even the girls.

I spent my entire high school soccer career hating myself because I wasn't perfect. I was a starter on Varsity my first year in high school (one of two freshman that year) and was written up in the paper a few times. I was awarded all-league and all-area but I couldn't enjoy any of this because it wasn't perfect. I NEVER thought I was a good player. I never once doubted that I really sucked - I just got lucky sometimes. My social life changed. Things happened that I couldn't control. I thought I was seriously worseless both as a player and a person. And then I fucked up and self-medicated with drugs and booze. I lost a part of myself back then. And I was only 16.

To this day, there are some things I regret so much, it makes me sick to my stomach to even remember that they even happened. I started college by the time I could even begin to recover and I don't know that I'm strong enough to face those people again. I've more recently, begun to feel that Kevin put me in this whirlwind of self-destructive behavior at 14 because I wasn't confident in myself to refuse his power trips. I don't blame him for everything I've ever done but can't accept now, that he hasn't played a significant, negative role in my life.

I hate him with every fiber of my being.



Now you know everything.

Monday, December 20, 2004

I seriously need to clean off my desk today. It's entirely too messy to function correctly. Which is pretty bad because a desk really doesn't have much of a function. Der.

Anyhoo- I'm looking forward to my mom's birthday party tonight at my house. I like entertaining for small gatherings. I feel like I'm an adult....which is funny because ever since Paul and I got married, people have been treating us like we're old now. For example, my grandmother told me "hey bring bread to the Christmas party - you're in charge of bread." And I was all "what? I have to bring stuff now?" AND THEN, now this is scary to me, I see my 'little' cousins who, I swear, were 3' tall and screaming the last time I saw them, are now 6' and driving --- I almost caught myself saying "I remember when you were this tall" with the inevitable hand motion indicating the distance between the floor and what was once the tops of their heads. I can't believe it, I'm becoming the 'aunt' -- aka the #1 reason not to mingle at a Christmas party when you're young and easily embarrassed. UGH at least I didn't say it. yuck! I'M NEVER THINKING IT AGAIN.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Well I cracked a little last night. I went to yet another meeting at one of my projects; I think it was number 17 or 18 but I can't be sure. Anyway, so there are seven, yes seven representatives from the University drilling me as to why tar smells, what areas are my guys working on next, what have they done, how come they're not done, blah blah blah shoot me now. I'm the only representative from our company in the room and I'm doin pretty well, I'm holding my own --- well as I far as I can tell --- and I finally get out of there an hour later. I go back to the office and I find out that the plan has changed and I was not informed.

This is what truly pisses me off about this business. Everyone seems to be out for themselves; fuck everyone else involved. My boss has taken over both of my jobs and then sends me to a meeting with absolutely no accurate information about the job whatsoever. THEN tries to pass it off on me like it's my fault for not asking everyone six times about what the hell is going on. I didn't know the plan changed. Apparently everyone else knew but me --- even the owners new but me? noooo. I'm sick of not being in the loop. "oh it's not important that someone tell Jackie about any new shit - let her ask" What the hell. Do you call your local news station every hour to find out if there's any new news? It's their fucking job to tell me any new plans!

UGH! It's a really good thing I was able to work off all that built up anger at the gym yesterday. Otherwise, I don't know what I would've done. What's worse is that I was definitely(sp?) mad but I was hurt too. I felt that some people in this company were deliberately keeping me out of the loop because of my inexperience. I felt that they told the people that they felt needed to know important information and I just happened to not fall within that group. Then I felt even worse when they told me that it was my fault for not being in the loop. I mean for fucks sake, I can't win with you people.

The only thing that kept me in this before was the fact that I can't stand giving up when things get tough ---- but now it's becoming more than that ---- now it's becoming about revenge. This motivation is developing into something like "guys do what ever the fuck you want to me now but you'll regret it later......I'm gonna be huge, like nothing you've ever seen before.....in a couple of years you'll be asking me to keep you in the loop......just wait - you ain't see nothin yet."

Thursday, December 16, 2004

You know what? I just decided today, I hate being in the office doin stuff for my jobs. I hate sitting here and making phone calls all day. I hate not being able to leave my desk. I'm definitely much happier loading/delivering material, fixing up sites, ordering new material, discussing jobsite/installation procedure, and --I shouldn't say this but-- I am sick and digustingly happier with pressure. I don't push myself hard enough when there isn't any pressure to get shit done so now I have this sick obsession with it. It's a truly repulsive quality I swear. Like right now, I should be copying details and ordering flashing material for one of my jobs. I know damn well that this blog is going to take me longer than 2 minutes to write but do I stop? No. I can't stop, I love it - it makes me feel busy and important - I love it. AH I can't believe I just wrote that! SICK!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

So here I am at my desk, for the first time all day. I'm tired, I'm worn out, and I'd like to go home. I have a few parties to prepare for this weekend and I'd really like to get the house in good shape before Christmas. Ah, I tell ya, I'm turning into quite the busy bee.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Ok folks! If you want to see/buy pictures from the wedding, you can find them at

Tim Busch's website

Hope you like 'em!! Talk to yall later!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Lindsay Smith, you are one of thee most stunning people I know. No joke, you are smashingly gorgeous. I bet that's why I have tons of pictures of you from the wedding! You are magnetic my friend, absolutely magnetic!

I really didn't want to come into work this morning. It's super cold and I really don't want to know what's going on with my both of my jobs. I have two more that I might possible get within the next couple of weeks but I don't know - at this point, I would rather have another estimator handle those. AH! It's only 7:45, I hope lunch comes fast.

I had a good time in Kalamazoo this weekend. Jen, JoeD, Heather, and Jessica all graduated on Saturday so I went to say congratulations. Although I didn't get to see JoeD and Heather in person, I hope they really did have a good graduation day. I started at Jen's thing in GR, then we came back to Kzoo for maybe an hour before going to bed. That was pretty much the whole night.

We put up our Christmas tree on Friday! It looks pretty and it smells good too. I love the smell of real trees - especially the ones I don't have to cut down myself. (shhhh don't say that to my parents, they just might get angry cause I didn't go with 'em to get it) My living room feels a little crowded now that there's a tree and I'm not sure what to do about it. I mean I guess I could move my chair into the sun room but we're planning on shutting off that room cause a minor draft....Well, maybe I should just be happy with it right now. Eh, I don't know.

I realized this weekend that I like my job because of the people and the level of professionalism I have to maintain on a daily basis. I hate it because I'm not familiar with all of it yet, because I fear it, and because I loathe failing so much I can't quit when I feel it's getting too hard. I realized all this and that I'm missing something. I always felt that where-ever I ended up after graduation was where I was meant to be but I don't know that anymore. There's something out there that I need to do. I know there is, I can feel it. ....... ...... I just wish I could know what it is before I get in too deep.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Someone please write something. I'm getting bored rereading my own blog all the time.

I ruined my pants this morning. Someone ran over a can of Aluminum coating last night at my job and I "found" it this morning when I was unloading some materials. All of a sudden I move this tarp and BAM! I stepped in the black solvent part of the coating. I'm so gonna be smelling this crap on my pants all day - ugh it's gonna make me sick. That combined with the smell of hot coal tar pitch on my jacket is gonna make a nice smelly mess all frickin day. Whatever I guess. Smelling this crap is better than walking around pantless right??? ;)

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I really felt bad that I didn't go to dinner last night with Paul's brother. I wanted to but I just couldn't bring myself to leave the house. You see, it all started yesterday at about 7:10 in the morning. Doodaleeedo doodaleeedo dodaleeedo...........what? I'm trying to do a flashback for you. Anyway, I was just sittin at my desk, trying to reduce some of these paperwork stacks when my father walks into my office and demands that I stop what I'm doing and work on his stuff (this was noted in yesterday's post). So, like a good employee, I started working on my boss's requests but then B calls me and screams at me for not doing this or not doing that. Now I'm sitting at my desk and it's 8:10. My father walks in again, "did you call this person?" I try and explain that it's 10 minutes after business has officially opened and I can't talk to two companies about detailed information in 10 minutes. He's angry now I can tell. "CALL THEM" he tells me. So I call and ask if someone can meet me at the jobsite later that afternoon. A couple hours later I get another call and it's my father who decided that I needed a good ass kicking over the phone. I had to go pick up a few things then meet him down at the job. As i'm driving, the bottled up stress and anger and wild muscle spasms all start spilling out of me at the same time. I swear the people next to me on 8 Mile probably thought they were driving next to a crazy person.

After lunch, I go back to the jobsite with my father. On our way down there he says to me: "jack I talked to this person this morning and he said you ordered this." I tells 'em "yea I did. you told me we needed this now now now. B called and said we needed this now now now. And you gave me one number to call." THen he laughs, which annoys me to the point where I'm ready to shove him out of a moving car, and says "it's standard procedure to get a price and then order the work". Honestly what would you do if two people were screaming at you to get the work done then give you a number of who to call? You'd probably order the work to be done too. Anyhoo, so I finally spoke up and told him where to go with that comment. He looks at me and realizes I'm serious and then backs off. Then I start gettin into it with B's little shit comments. Of course, like always, he defends him and doesn't see my side at all. A least I feel that he's heard me though. Which is good. I think. Yea.

Today my father is a little better. Yes he did talk to me this morning but not with the same attitude as yesterday. I doubt that he did that because I bitched, I think it's just because he's in a better mood but still---I'll take it.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I want to see my wedding pictures.
I've decided I'm going to try a different response to confrontation. I'm not going to speak if someone is demanding something from me. I've decided to nod my head instead of saying yes or no or whatever. I think it's going to work; I just put it through a test run and my father went from "you need to do this...." at the beginning of his tiraide to "can you do that asap?" in four sentences. Operation Head Nod is officially in effect. Yea!




The highlight of my day yesterday was when my brother was flipping through his XM news stations and commenting on the weather in different cities. "Today in Detroit, the weather is going to be sucky" - next station- "Houston? sucky" - next- "Nashville? sucky" - next- "Pittsburg? sucky" -next- "Philly? sucky" -next- "Tampa? YES 81 degrees! ..... no wait... I don't live there.....sucky."

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

When it rains I feel like a child being dragged into a doctor's office for a flu shot. I have to fight with myself just to get out of bed to go to work. And when I get there, I know that I'm going to get ten phone calls about the smarties (the higher ups at UofM - I call 'em smarties) complaining about leaks in a building that has a crap roof. See, we were hired to replace it because of the crapsisity of the existing roof - now that we've started to replace it and it's beginning to crumble under our feet. Note: you're purchasing department decided it would be a good idea to be cheap so take up your complaints with them, not us you cheap cheap bastards. This is what you get when you want something important for nothing. I think the whole attitude towards the smarties right now can be summed up in a single comment made by one of our foreman: "do you like road construction? I hate it but I deal with it now so I won't have to later.".......cheap bastards (I added that part :) )

I love this website not only because I can write paragraphs like the one above - but I can also make up words like crapsisity. Or craptastic. Or even anthrocrapology - the study of crappy people.

Monday, December 06, 2004

It's Monday December 6th 2004. I'm sitting at my desk, drinking a medium mocha, and wondering why I ever picked roofing to be my career. I listen to Roxanne or Lindsay talk about interviews in Detroit, in North Carolina, or in Ohio with these great companies ---- or Lindsay P interviewing in Chicago for a position in Occupational Therapy --- or Jen teaching in Grand Rapids --- or Joe D working in a research facility in Kalamazoo --- or Robbie teaching in New York.... Why did I pick roofing? Why couldn't I get a job with a nice non-family owned company with excellent pay and a real career? If I find one......one of those jobs.......can I bring my brother too?

Friday, December 03, 2004

I'm so tired. It may be from not getting more than 6 hours of sleep a night - Maybe I need 8 to feel rested. I have a cold too which is probably making it worse.

So last night I went to work out before I went home for the day. I did the normal 10 minute warm up run then the triceps lift (45 lbs), quad lift (105 lbs), leg lift (255 lbs), and usually I focus on the bicep/bench press machine (75 lbs) at the ending of my weight work. However, last night I sit down at the press machine and although my arms are sore, I start lifting anyway. OH MY GOD. I didn't even get through half of one rep and this burning pain shoots up my arm from my elbow and stops at the middle of my chest. I dropped the weights but luckily I caught them with the foot pedal before they could touch the other weights. I sat there for a second and tried to catch my breath. I forgot how it felt to pull a muscle - it's been so long since the last time. So I stood up and walked over to the ab machines, did a couple of sets, and then finished up with 20 minutes on the bike. I tried not to quit early because of a shoulder injury but I ended up shaving a couple minutes off the bike. After that I left to go home and as soon as I got there, the muscle around my shoulder was so tight I couldn't lift my arm without pain. As the night went on, it loosened up a bit but it still sucks, even this morning. I hate injuries.

My workout routine is basic but it's helping to correct old joint and muscle problems. In all my 13 years of year-round soccer I've never had a chance to stop and focus on redeveloping strength in problem areas throughout my body. My physical therapy after injuries consisted of the "if you can run - run it off" philosophy. So now I'm 22 and have the joint and muscle problems of a 40 year old. For instance, I can't complete a full smooth rotation in my left ankle because of an old stretched/torn ligament injury; I have scar tissue in the rotator cuff in my shoulder; I have, at times, extreme lower back pain originally caused from old hip injuries, I have sensitive hip-flexor muscles from old strains, and an inverted bend in my lower left rib either from birth or injury (no one knows for sure). It's not a really big deal or anything, they're all just bothersome issues.....I'm sure people reading this have the same type of stuff.

Anyhoo- that's pretty much all the news for now. Stupid injuries.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

The Wedding Part 2

I got home Friday night at about midnight and crawled into my old bed. It was weird being back in the old room. It felt so empty not having yearbooks, homework, soccer equipment, old trophies, and posters of dead artists scattered all over the place. It reminded me of who I once was and I honestly started to feel....detached. As I laid there, staring at the ceiling, I wondered if the high school Jackie ever got a chance to meet the adult Jackie - what would she say? And then I felt a little like I was abandoning a part of myself because if that meeting were an event, I wouldn't go to it. For a few minutes after that I felt even worse about not caring about who I was and how I was repressing any of those memories and how I couldn't understand why I felt that way. ...... It's like my brain said "oh yea that's interesting, old me new me, ok next thought". And then I fell asleep.

I woke up around 7am, jumped in the shower, met the girls, and spent the majority of the morning in the hair salon. Everyone was all dolled up and gorgeous, it was awesome. My only complaint was that one of the ladies charged Jen full price to do her hair after she pretty much left Jen sitting in the chair for 45 minutes while she helped someone else. Then she told Karin and I that we didn't have nice eyebrow shapes ---- I got mine waxed there! That lady was a jerk. Anyway, we all drove back to my parents house and had mimosas and croissants before we headed upstairs to get ready. While my maid of honor was helping me with my dress, like four million people walked in - until finally Jen stood outside of the door and told people to go back downstairs. After I got my dress pulled tight and my veil in my hair, I followed my bridesmaids into the living room where the photographer (Mr. Busch - My parents' neighbor) snapped a whole bunch of good pics.

At about 1:30, the limo arrived to drive the bridesmaids and the kids out to the church to prep before the ceremony. We started to get a little nervous because people didn't seem to really arrive until 2:15ish but most made it in time so it wasn't a big deal. One of my flower girls and my ring bearer were spying for me...hehe. Anyhoo moving on... So we lined up in the corridor of the back foyer - behind the brick so no one could see my dad and I - and watched as all the girls, one by one, walked down the isle. Finally it was my turn. The whole time I was laughing at my dad's sillyness and crying because I was about to stand up in front of God and family and declare my love for my husband..err fiance at the time.

I almost lost it as I said my vows - I don't know if anyone could tell but I struggled to keep it together. The tears started comin during "you raise me up" though but luckily no one could see but Paul. I was a little bothered that we didn't get to have Father Norm at the rehersal because the wedding could've run just a little smoother but I don't know, I thought it was kind of sweet that we forgot when the flowers went to Mary and that we forgot to write Roxanne's name down as the first reader. Eh, we laugh about it now. After the ceremony, we took some more photos and then all of us got into the limo for the ride to the reception. We got there a little early but it wasn't a big deal I guess. We considered doing what Rob and Laura did -- walking in after everyone was seated, like a grand entrance of sorts -- but we knew we'd be leaving early and there were a lot of people we don't see very often and most of them are older......so we were worried we'd miss them if we waited until after dinner.

So, that being said, there was supposed to be a receiving line as people entered the club but everyone left me. Even my husband. SO I was standing there by myself when all these people started to come up to me and everyone was talking at the same time and I tried to listen, I really did, but as Jen knows, I can't multitask so I ended up smiling and nodding and it was bad. So then I just kept walking back and forth and back and forth so that only a few people would come up to me at a time. That was much better.

Our entrances were cool I thought (just before dinner). The cake cutting was cool too - especially with the Vera Wang cake knives. I loved how the cake turned out, it was so simple! The head table was awesome and I loved the matching Vera Wang flutes. I told the waiter guy that I wanted the champagne to "keep flowin"! I'm such a dork. Anyway..........

(stop - "to be continued")

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

I worked out yesterday for the first time in a over 4 weeks. Needless to say, my arms are sore this morning.

I woke up to snow this morning. How awful is that? Well, I guess I shouldn't say that because I love snow....just not the wet, soggy, it'll-be-gone-in-a-day type snow that I found on my car at 6:30am.

You know I should stop working as a project manager and go work on the roof. Of course I wouldn't get paid for rainy days or snow days or days when the project managers don't have work but at least I'd get to know my work a little better. Can I tell you a secret? I want to be the superintendent for this company. I'm not going to say it would be easier but it seems way nicer than this position. I mean, now, I bid the jobs and if I forget something, our super jumps on my back for every mistake made. No matter what he'll attack me at every angle despite how big or small that mistake may be. My dad does it too but I can understand he's trying to teach me something - our super is nothing like that. He's moody, he's a little cocky, and he's seems like he's enjoying this "power" over me, a newbie who has little to no knowledge of roofing OR business.

That just ticks me off though. It's like he doesn't care to understand at all. It's like he picks at me because he either likes making me feel like a fool or he's just in a bad mood. Both reasons are total bullshit but what can I do? I don't want to make any excuses but I don't feel as though I deserve a bitchy, condesending(sp?) attitude. I'm trying to do my job; help me so that it doesn't happen again - don't fuckin yell and nitpick everything I do.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Wedding Part 1

I spent Thursday and Friday morning cleaning and running errands in an all out attempt to get a whole list of things done before the rehersal Friday night. Surprisingly enough, I accomplished pretty much everything on my list and still had a few minutes to get ready for the rehersal at 6pm.

At the church, the walk thrus started out smoothly but as time quickly passed by, things began to rush rush rush. Soon enough we were out in the parking lot and off to the dinner at the Rochester Hills Brewery. We got our drink, mingled for a few minutes, and then Paul and I finally got to say something to our guests for a change. You see, for us, this moment had been building in our heads for almost 8 months - so when we stood up to speak, we could hardly contain ourselves. The flower girls and ring bearer got Disney DVD's, the readers got something from Nordstrom's, the bridesmaids were treated with diamonds, the groomsmen were given time pieces, the ushers got engraved pocket watches, and for the GRAND FINALE..........the parents found out that they are going to Boston or Savanna for a long weekend this coming summer. It was insane! Everyone seemed overjoyed which was fantastic! We really wanted to show our utmost appreciation for those who were participating in the wedding and I think we accomplished our goal.....well I hope we did. :) Oh it was great. I'm still excited about it even now. It kinda sucks that were sorta broke right now but it was totally worth it.

After the Brewery, we headed over to Main Street so we could spend time with some out of town folks. That was great and although a couple of us couldn't stay long, we still had a really good time. That was the night of the infamous basketball/fan fight!

(stop transmission - enter "to be continued")

Monday, November 29, 2004

I was gone for 11 days and, in total, in grand frickin total, one days worth of work was completed. one day. i'm so amazed.......i am so amazed.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Well today is the last official day of me working for this and next week. I almost feel guilty leaving...I mean I know I've said that before but I really do. It's like sitting down to watch a show you really like and then getting a phone call that lasts most of the show. Or it's like you started an essay and other people have to finish it for you but you're the only one who's been to class since the project's been assigned. I don't know - in the past, I've noticed that I have a tendency to throw myself into jobs and I guess it's just hard to pull myself away from that when they're only just in the beginning stages.

I've been thinking about this since my father mentioned something yesterday afternoon and I absolutely must talk about it. On the way home from a meeting yesterday my dad asks me about law school and I explain to him that I'm not sure about going, it's still an option, I like what I'm doing now, blah, blah blah. Anyway, so he says "well, I think you should go into Contract Law because we'll need people like you in this business." I kinda rolled my eyes and thought about all the other people who've told me that I need to go into this and that and whatever. But then, out of nowhere, the conversation takes a turn - he says "you're mother and I have talked about it and you seem to be really into this business - you have a few jobs, you're doing well, and we just wanted to find out what you wanted to do."

I don't know why, but I felt strangely happy after that. Was that a compliment? ...because I think I took it as one.... Finally someone has noticed that I'm at work from 7am to 5pm Monday thru Friday and half a shift on Saturdays.

Now that I reread the comment, it's becoming sadly amusing. It's not even a clear compliment, if it was intended to be a compliment at all, and instantly my feelings change. I guess I'll take anything I can get at this point.

Monday, November 15, 2004

You know how I always write that sometimes I love my job and sometimes I hate it?

I f-ing hate it today. I really f-ing hate it. If I had another job I could apply to, I would probably be seriously considering it right now.
this is a complete and utter nightmare. this morning I found out that my supplier shipped 53 squares out to my job - I ordered 84. I don't really know how I should feel right now. Almost everything that shouldn't have gone wrong, has gone terribly, terribly wrong. I'm almost glad that I'm leaving for a couple of days but at the same time I really hate leaving when things are this messed up.

I feel fat today. For the last week, I've pretty much been eating pizza and I feel disgusting. I'm going to work out tomorrow and I'm going to either start making myself sandwiches for lunch or I'm going to choose more non-fatty foods for lunch when I go out everyday. I was on the right track about 2 months ago - i lost about 10 lbs. but I probably gained it back from eating absolute crap again.

I got a mud wrap on Saturday morning and it was so nice. Once you get over the fact that you're pretty much naked when they put the mud on you, it feels really relaxing. It was a really nice place but it's part of the reason why I feel so chunky.

The bachelorette party was f-in awesome. We went to dinner at a nice resturant, we opened presents back at the house, and we went bar hopping in a limo until 3am. It was kick ass. We ended up at Tycoon's, a gentlemens club, which we almost didn't make it into because we supposedly needed a "male escort". And then when half of us walked out, they were like, "oh it's ok whatever". Who woulda thought they'd kick us out of a strip club because we're women? They didn't kick us out at the gay bar!

Yea, Saturday night was crazy but it was also a blast.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

It's Saturday and I'm here again. This sucks.

You know what I hate most about work? I hate it when I get a call as I'm driving home, my phone rings, and the voice on the other end asks: "Hey did you have a base layer on the south area?" And then I think about it for the rest of the evening, in the middle of the night, when I wake up, while I'm brushing my teeth, in the shower, and finally, in the car on the way to work. As soon as I get to work, I check the drawing, argue with my dad for a minute or two and then we come to the same conclusion - it is correct the way I figured it. Then my thoughts about having to buy more material or that I fucked up, disappear. I hate that. I hate it so much.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I've got a smile on my face, and I've got four walls around me
I've got the sun in the sky, all the water surround me
Oh you know, ya I've been down and sometimes I'll lose
I've been battered, but I'll never bruise... it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's all right.

'Jackie' sings on the corner, what keeps her from dying
Let them say what they want, but she won't stop trying..Oh you know,
She might stumble, they push her 'round
She might fall, but she'll never lie down...it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's all right.

it's alright, it's alright...it's ALRIGHT.

Cuz in this beautiful life there's always some sorrow
And It's a double-edged knife, but there's always tomorrow..Oh you know,
It's up to you now if you sink or swim,
Just keep the faith and you're ship will come in, it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say...
I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's all right, it's all right

I've got a smile on my face, and I've got four walls around me

(I love this band.) -Great Big Fish

Monday, November 08, 2004

There are days when I love my job and there are days I wish I'd moved out to Denver with all of the other relatives. This morning, I was hoping I'd wake up to Denver.

There are papers all over my desk and people on the phone from four different jobs whining about how they need this and they need that. This morning I had a meeting with my GC and he tells me he doesn't want to pay me any more than I owe to my suppliers. He tells me that he has a check for me for 3 dollars but he's going to void it because he'd rather pay me 2 dollars in one check and 1 dollar in another check. Another guy tells me that he doesn't want to fork over 5 dollars to help cover the rising cost of a roof so he pushes me to try and split the 5 with us. I tell him let's change your roof system and you won't have to pay the extra - he tells me no and then asks me if I can split it 50-50. The last guy, nice guy, tells me I need to meet with him for a run thru during the bid, with my super, again with a grounds person, again with an electrical person, again with a safety office, and again for a pre-con meeting. Nice guy, good guy, but I hate going over the same thing 8 different times...I just want to start and finish.

That's business though. Yeap, business as usual.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I'm scared, I'm really scared. With the way the economy is going and Bush being in the office for four more years, I'm reallly reallly scared. I mean, if we have another year like this, I could be out of a job. And what's worse, if I lost my job, the only other option I have is to go into the academy and I do not want to go there. I'd probably be interested in moving to Canada and becoming a 'mountie'.

Terrorism. This is a subject that I don't normally tackle on this website but I'll try briefly. Too many politicians think that the US needs to focus its time, energy, and money into a war and 'homeland security' because we were attacked in 2001. Yes, it was a horrific and a great tragedy but to devote almost four years of funds to a war we can't win is ridiculous. Terrorism is everywhere, we can't overcome it. Terrorism is the person who kidnaps a child for money, terrorism is a government who rewards the wealthy and punishes the poor, terrorism is the company who offers jobs to citizens of other countries (outsourcing) and pays them a dime an hour for 80 hours a week, terrorism is invading a country on a quest to further our own agenda... We've gotten so numb to the word "terrorism" that it's been almost redefined into a word meaning "iraqi". Our ears have been filled with nonsense and no one seems to notice anymore! Terrorism=2001 and 2001=afganistan/bin laden and bin laden=bad and bad=iraq and iraq=saddam and saddam=must find must kill must blame for 2001 and other world terror. What the hell kind of logic is that people?? That's right, President "I've got a personal vendetta against Saddam for threatening my father" George dubya. Listen, terrorism is here, it was here nearly 300 years ago when white people terrorized native americans, it was here 100 years ago when white people terrorized black people, and its here today when the US terrorizes Iraqis.

You know what really makes me laugh though? Some people actually think instituting a democracy in Iraq is a good idea. In fact, some actually dare to call it "freeing Iraq". We are so damn arrogant that we think that we can stop people from fighting and live peacefully. There are Shites, Sunnis, Christians, and Mystics in Iraq and...we'll just say they don't exactly agree on everything. We are so fucking arrogant that we can get them to live peacefully. Next thing you know, we'll start thinking we can get Israelis and Pakistanis to stop a thousand years of fighting.... ;) For fucks sake, we can't even get Republicans and Democrats to agree.

We're such assholes, honestly. Sometimes I'm embarassed to call myself a citizen of the United States. I'm trying to avoid using the word 'american' by the way, I think that adaquately defines our arrogance in itself (there is more than one country on the north american continent you know). But what can I do now? I voted, I spoke up, apparently I'm one of very few people willing to critize myself and my country. I guess I'll just have to live with that right?

On a side note, to all those who voted yesterday, no matter who you voted for, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, whatever the outcome, at least you cared enough to speak up. thanks.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

You know what people - don't vote if you don't want to. I say, leave it up to me to decide who you marry, what to do with your body, how much you're going to pay in taxes every year, how we're going to spend your money, what your not going to say or hear, how we should handle your kids, when we should push you're children into the military, what drugs you're elderly parents can afford, if you get healthcare or not, or even if you can keep you're job this year. So really, don't vote if you don't want to; I really don't mind. In fact, I don't mind so much, that I might just be willing to join rank and hold an office myself. Hell, that way I can be sure I can decide what happens to you knowing I'm not going to have to hear one damn peep outta ya. Sweet. That's it, Senator Jackie LaDuke here I come.

Monday, November 01, 2004

I haven't gotten my medicine cabinet/vanity yet. I'm so pissed.

Friday, October 29, 2004

I think I needed a change ... so here it is. Our Lady of Peace may not be my favorite band but I do enjoy their music every now and then. I've always liked the picture on the cover of this album too.

I passed my blueprint class with a 90%, yea for me!! I absolutely, positively, sucked major ass on the mechanical and plumbing sections. I think that's probably due to the fact that I hate mechanical and plumbing drawings. And that's probably due to the fact that I hate tracing tubes and wires through walls and natural grade. It's stupid. I'm just glad I don't have to do it every day. If I did do it every day, I think my eyes would roll backwards and I'd crash on my desk for 8 hours a day. Course I'd prolly get fired but I wouldn't care because I hate mechanical and plumbing work anyway. Although, nothing would be worse than being a disgruntled out-of-work mechanical and plumbing hater.

.....i have to get back to work.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

I was so good at scheduling classes in both high school and college that I feel it's suitable I officially dub myself "the queen of time coordination". In high school, classes were difficult to arrange because you had to follow a certain curriculum and we weren't allow to skip the dumb classes. However, my senior year, I still ended up with two free hours for an entire year. First semester, they were the last two hours of the day so I got to leave early and second semester, one free hour was before lunch (so I had a two hour lunch basically) and one was the last hour of school again. It was awesome. AND THEN I came to college. I had, in all four years, one eight oclock class and it was during my very first semester ever. However, even though I had an eight oclock class, I had Tuesday and Thursday off so I made up for it in the end. Every year after that I had not one class before 10am and had at least 1 day a week I didn't have to go to school; whether or not that day was techinically legit is another story. Anyway, so my senior year turned out to be the best of college too. I ended up having Monday, Friday, and half of Wednesday off which proved to be the sickest schedule ever. It was awesome.

SOOOO "the queen of time coordination" is at it again. The wedding is a vacation day gold mine and I'm proud to say that I helped plan that schedule. But there are several advantages that go with that too. First, my out of town family gets to come, stay for an entire week (although I won't be there), and spend thanksgiving together; something they haven't done in probably decades. Second, Thanksgiving gives all the out of town family an excuse to fly out here with is great, I love seeing them. Third, it's the best date (keeping read and you'll find out why), and it's far enough away from Christmas that it gives people a nice break in between. NOW I can explain why it's a VACATION DAY GOLD MINE yesssss!

I have managed to squeeze five vacation days out of the big guy and I'm VERY excited about it. And now you'll know why. I'm taking 5 vacation days and I'll officially be paid for seven AND I won't have to go to work for 11 days total - almost two weeks! YES! Don't understand? Here's how it works, I'm taking off Thursday the 18 and Friday the 19th. Then I have Saturday for the wedding, and Sunday for traveling. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday for the following week are actual work days I took off for vacation, Thursday and Friday are office holidays, and Saturday and Sunday are normal weekend days off. That's in total, 11 days off, including 5 paid vacation, 2 holiday, and 4 weekend days. KICK ASSS.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

i got to the end of the road and kept walking. i didn't stop to wonder why the path wasn't as clear as it once was, i just continued to walk.

Monday, October 25, 2004

I can't sleep.
This weekend was fun. I didn't really do much of anything at home on Saturday except sleep in and go shopping for light bulbs, door knobs, and bathroom paint. When I did finally get goin, it was about the time we left for kzoo. We met up with Axel, Alicia, JoeD, Heather, Ryan, Jon, and Jen soon after we got there and had a few drinks. It was a pseudo-shower type thing which was tres cool cause we got the most awesomist stuff ever.

Then we went back to Ryan and Jen's place and sat around for a bit before crashin on the pull out. It was incredibly sweet of them to have us. We can't wait to show 'em the same hospitality when they come to detroit. We had a really good time.

Sunday, we decided it would be a good idea to give the bathroom its first coat of new paint. I must say, it looks a lot better than the old yellow sponge paint but it was a lot of work. Friday night we started taking things off the wall so that we could paint; one of things being the vanity. Yea, we took all the screws out, lifted the giant thing down, and WHOA NELLY. There's a big gaping hole in the wall!!! It looks like someone didn't like the original vanity, took it out of the wall, and just put up a larger one to cover up the hole. I guess it's not a big deal because now we can get one that will set into the wall but still, it was a shocker. Anyway, we finished the first coat and I'll probably work on the second one tonight. After that, I have to do the door and the closet then I'll be done. Finally a light at the end of the bathroom journey! I'm going to do some custom work in there too - I hope it turns out nice. It'll be the first time I venture off of plain paper or canvas - I'll have to practice. :) I'm excited though, if it goes well, I might consider doing more throughout the house. I love working on my house.....I really really do.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I know I talk about this a lot but it's difficult for me not to mention anything about something so big in my life.

Work. I started this job with very little knowledge of roofing and crude sense of management developed through many years of volunteering, soccer, and school. I've had, to this day, no formal 'commercial roofing' training and I've attended not one single business class from the commencement of my college career to graduation last April. Basically, if I had to submit my resume, my resume would read: "Past Experience: Absolutely positively none whatsoever." Thankfully I didn't have to do that because my brother and I are the only ones in Michigan who the business knew well enough to trust, especially in times like these. Yes, you read it right, I in fact wrote "times like these". According to our accountant, my mother, this year is one of the top ten worst years for the roofing business in all 25 years of her career. Business is up however material prices are skyrocketing because of nationwide shortages causing customers to go overbudget and business to scramble to keep prices down AND get work. Some are starving for jobs and will so low to get one, they'll do it at cost. That's nearly impossible to compete with when you need profit to make up the jobs you took a loss on. It's insane.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that in nearly 6 months, I've learned so much about not only roofing but business as well. I've gained a few more points on the confidence scale and I'm feeling a little more comfortable where I am now. I don't know everything yet but I finally feel like I'm moving towards some sort of goal. it's a good feeling. It's nice.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Check it out dude! One month from today I can say I'm someone's wife. That's........really freakin scary. I mean only five short years ago, I was a senior in high school. IN HIGH SCHOOL. I can't believe it. I thought I'd be drivin my trooper blue police suburban pullin over speeders or investigating crimes by now. Or if I'd went with my first dream, I would've been dressed in blue by day and geared up for battle one weekend a month and two weeks a year. Well, not really for battle because women aren't allowed on tanks, jeeps, or anywhere else even remotely related to the first line....so I'd just be dressed for desk duty..but still. If I'd gone with the third dream, I'd be in law school right now, livin in the River Front Towers and wakin up to the sunrise over Canada. I'd be on the fast track to a starting salary of 80,000 workin for the government, a debt in excess of 50,000 smackeroos, and a chance to learn how to fill prisons with drug addicts and thieves. But alas, I did not choose those dreams, I settled for the alternative; assuming my proper place as heiress to a small throne that I'll share with my brother. Did I give up? I don't know yet.

I do know that today is Oct 20th and my wedding in on Nov 20th. Dude, I would be at the salon gettin my hair did right now. CRAZY. Crazy, Crazy, Crazy.

This is weird. I'm doin it but I'm scared.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Well we're still working on the house. We've dabbled with minor construction in the bathroom and we've made some progress. We're just being lazy and broke I think. We'll try and have it finished by the wedding. (EMPHASIS ON "TRY")

I have to ask for more money this afternoon....otherwise I lose a contract. I hate asking for money. I hate it. It's like having to go to the dentist. I hate the dentist.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Dilemma.

Let's say I've been wanting to build this massive metal sculpture for almost 3 years. I've been researching metal suppliers and I've been reading about welding kits so when it came time to build, I had it all planned out. I even took a class so that I could be trained to weld properly. Although I'd still doubted whether or not I'd do it, one day I finally said to myself "F it, I'm just going to build the sculpture".

So I'm just sittin around, calling up the metal dudes, when I find out that metal prices went up. So I think about it, grind my teeth a little, and buy what I need at the new price. Then I get a call, "Jackie, we don't have that welder in stock so you're going to have to wait till next month". I hang my head for an afternoon but I decide to wait. A few days pass and I get an email that reads: "Dear Jackie, the steel rods you needed to build this object have been discontinued. You might want to try such and such a size instead". I sigh in disappointment, call up the company, order the new rods, and tweek my design to fit the new steel. A week goes by and I find out that the metal has to be reordered and the price went up a few cents a foot. I grind my teeth a little more and hand over the credit card. At this point, I've waited over 10 weeks for everything to be set so that I can start fabricating this beautiful metal sculpture....

Now I know that after I build it, I'll make a whole lot of dough selling it but I don't know if I can put up with any more of this waiting crap. What can I do? Do I just stop trying? Or do I continue to cling to the hope that some day I'll be able to profit from this build?

This is so frustrating.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Important News Bulletin

For all the folks staying at a hotel the night of the wedding:

Baymont Inn
48953 Alpha Tech Drive
Wixom, MI 48393
Phone: (248) 735-2781


This is the closest one to the reception. Give 'em a ring and let 'em know if you're staying there pretty soon!




Thursday, October 07, 2004

you know what I miss most about college? When every single one of us were best of friends. Remember? We'd go out to the OP and talk about Smack Down and RAW while listening to Nopa sing every Thursday. Everyone but Jon out on the porch, talkin to Steve, laughin about Ryan and his supposed "gayness". Drinkin in the kitchen of 2116. Talkin about random shit. Fighting on blogger. Those are the times I miss the most.....I miss 'em a lot.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Sometimes I think I'm lost. Like I haven't found my niche yet. I mean, I'm a project manager in a small but very well known roofing business; I should be happy that I'm able to jump into it so young. I should be comfortable here but the truth is...I'm not. What's keeping me in this business right now is the belief that I know I can become great - and prove all these men wrong. I can make waves. I can become a threat and at the same time, a desirable employee. I have drive. It's just so frustrating. I'm young and have this naive sense of the business world. I'm shakey, I'm nervous, I'm new, and I don't really understand all of it. I know one day I'll just get it but sometimes I wish that day was today or yesterday or last Thursday..or whatever.

It's just frustrating. Frustrating being a woman too. Last week, a woman called looking to get a quote on her roof and our operator put her through to me. I got on the phone and danced with her for a minute - asking her what I could do for her and getting some prelim information about the roof. I couldn't believe it but eventually she just comes right out and tells me "well, I'm in the construction business and I'm not trying to be sexist or anything but I need to speak to a man. I mean I can hardly get up there and I just need to speak to a man." My blood started to boil but I'm willing to forget what just happened. "Well mam, I've been doing this for two years, is there a roof hatch in the building?" She feels she needs to repeat herself. "Well, I would rather speak to a man about getting up there, I mean I'm sure you're good and everything but honestly a man could get up there." My teeth are clenching now. "Well mam, there isn't another estimator in the office, I'll tell you what I can do, if you can give me your name and address I can have someone out there later this afternoon if that's ok." She pauses. "What time do the other estimators get in? Who can I talk to?" My face is on fire. "8am mam, call at 8am tomorrow morning." We hang up.

Yesterday, I bought a tire for my bike. I walked up to the counter at a dealership not far from my house and ask "I need a knobby to replace a 110/90 on a 18" wheel". The guy says he might have something in a 18" but he'll go check. I'm thinking well it's the end of the season, he might not and this is my last effort to look for a place that has one in stock. He comes back with a tire that's slightly bigger than what I wanted but I'm ok with it and I buy it. I'm finished signing everything and I pick up the tire and walk out to my car. On the way out, I get stopped by this salesman. He smiles, looks me square in the face, and says "you gonna put that on yourself?" I looked back at him with a now, 'what's wrong with you dick' look, and while holding myself back, I respond "yes." I walked passed him, out the door, and into my truck. I was having a decent day until him.

You know, people tell me I'm not suppose to care. They tell me "that's just the business and you shouldn't let it be personal". WELL screw you folks. You don't know what it's like to be new AND be excluded from the good ole boy's club. You don't know what it's like to be doubted not only because you're young and you're a novice - but because you're female. These people didn't even know me. The woman didn't know I grew up on roofs. The salesman didn't know I have been around bikes since I was five years old. What saddens me is that it didn't even occur to them that if I answer the phone at work or if I pick up a tire from a store, there's a good chance I know what I'm doing. I didn't just happen to pick up a random phone or I didn't just appear in a dealership - I was there for a reason.

How would you feel if you went to a book store, picked up a book, bought it, and then on your way out, a salesman says, "you gonna read that yourself?" ..... OR say you were a math teacher and someone calls you, knows you're a math teacher but still asks "I have a math questions, can I speak with another math teacher please?" It's rather insulting.

Monday, October 04, 2004

So normally Paul and I seldom leave our house (besides going to work everyday). I don't know why really, we just like to stay home I guess. Anyway, so when we do decide to leave the house for more than five minutes, we go nuts. Saturday night was the perfect example.

Saturday night:

8pm - Lindz and Scott show up and we head downtown.
9:30pm - 75 was closed at 8 mile and the lodge was closed at 94. Woodward was a slow ride.
10pm - found a parking spot right in front of Comerica Park. We walk over to the box office to buy tickets for the last Tigers game of the season and they're closed. DAMN! Eh, let's go eat.
10:15pm - Eating at Elmore's Bar & Grill. Two pints of Guiness and a Swiss Mushroom Burger. mmmmmmm.
11pm - Arrive at the Old Shillelagh but it's WAY busy and we wouldn't be able to get upstairs.
11:15pm - Arrive at The Well for a pint of guiness. Place smells like, honestly, old urine. Make Lindz chug a LaBatt and we're out.
11:45pm - Arrive at Foran's Irish Pub. Nice place, nice dj, 9 people and we made up 4. Drink a pint of guiness and we're out.
12:30am - Arrive at the Hard Rock Detroit. Kamakasi shots all around. Take a gander at the merchandise...and....we're out.
1am - Arrive at The Detroiter. Red Head Shots all around. Great live rock/jazz band, good crowd, nice wait staff. Two or three more pints of Guiness. Enter Jeremiah, Scott's Detroit cop friend. Nice but a little distant/standoffish I think. Jackie, Paul, and Scott are now super hammered.
1:45am - Things get a little fuzy here, I think this is about the time we left although I don't really remember walking back to the car.
3am - we got home?
3:45am - "Uh, Jackie, do you realize you're sleeping on the bathroom floor?" -Paul. "Oh Whoops. I guess I better go to bed then huh?" -Jackie now slightly sober.
Several Hours later
10am - Oh damn, I feel like absolute shit. Awe...shoot me.
6am this morning - Crap. I'm still hung over.
So normally Paul and I seldom leave our house (besides going to work everyday). I don't know why really, we just like to stay home I guess. Anyway, so when we do decide to leave the house for more than five minutes, we go nuts. Saturday night was the perfect example.

Saturday night:

8pm - Lindz and Scott show up and we head downtown.
9:30pm - 75 was closed at 8 mile and the lodge was closed at 94. Woodward was a slow ride.
10pm - found a parking spot right in front of Comerica Park. We walk over to the box office to buy tickets for the last Tigers game of the season and they're closed. DAMN! Eh, let's go eat.
10:15pm - Eating at Elmore's Bar & Grill. Two pints of Guiness and a Swiss Mushroom Burger. mmmmmmm.
11pm - Arrive at the Old Shillelagh but it's WAY busy and we wouldn't be able to get upstairs.
11:15 - Arrive at The Well for a pint of guiness. Place smells like, honestly, old urine. Make Lindz chug a LaBatt and we're out.
11:45 - Arrive at Foran's Irish Pub. Nice place, nice dj, 9 people and we made up 4. Drink a pint of guiness and we're out.
12:30am - Arrive at the Hard Rock Detroit. Kamakasi shots all around. Take a gander at the merchandise...and....we're out.
1am - Arrive at The Detroiter. Red Head Shots all around. Great live rock/jazz band, good crowd, nice wait staff. Two or three more pints of Guiness. Enter Jeremiah, Scott's Detroit cop friend. Nice but a little distant/standoffish I think. Jackie, Paul, and Scott are now super hammered.
1:45am - Things get a little fuzy here, I think this is about the time we left although I don't really remember walking back to the car.
3am - we got home?
3:45am - "Uh, Jackie, do you realize you're sleeping on the bathroom floor?" -Paul. "Oh Whoops. I guess I better go to bed then huh?" -Jackie now slightly sober.
Several Hours later
10am - Oh damn, I feel like absolute shit. Awe...shoot me.
6am this morning - Crap. I'm still hung over.

Friday, October 01, 2004

So October eh? Did you know that daylight savings time begins on Halloween? ...or that Columbus Day is in 10 days? I didn't know till my calendar told me.

I had to build a small scale object for class yesterday. Basically it's two small boxes, one on top of the other, positioned perpendicular to each other. The one on the top is a 3"x3"x1" with a hole in the center and the base is 4.5"x3"x1". It took me less than 20 minutes to make. I was done early so I decided to put a little roof on this little thing using a self-adhering EPDM (or rubber as it is more commonly known) patch I found in our test cut kits. Unfortunately it was the last patch in the bag, so now we can't test cut a roof anymore but my project is done!

My dad gave me the stupid cold he's had for a week and a half. I have to keep a roll of TP on my desk to keep my nose from leaking. I hate colds.

I'm not going biking this weekend. I can't say that I'm disappointed though. I kinda wanted to stay home and work on my house. I enjoy it. I also need to get a bed liner for my truck. OH yea, did I mention I bought a truck? Yeap. I have to go get a spray on bed liner so that I can go biking NEXT weekend. I better write that down.

I went to a construction managers office the other day, in downtown Detroit, and I really liked it. I told Tom I wouldn't mind working downtown and he told me I was crazy. And by george, I just might be.

Crap. This guy's gonna kill me if I don't get this bid done this morning (not that I have much to do). I'm having a hard time though because my metal guy hasn't faxed me a quote - and that's about all I'm waiting on. You know, that's it. I'm sick of putting customers off because my stupid metal guy can't get a price in a reasonable amount of time. This has been bugging me for a while now. I hate feeling dumb because of SUBS. Damn you subcontractors!!!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

I can't believe tomorrow is October 1st...can you?? That's scary, that means the wedding is exactly 7 weeks from Saturday. HOLY CRAP. HOLY CRR AAAP.

I'm excited.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

List of Rooms

Painted:
Master Bedroom
Guest Bedroom
Home Office
Living Room
Foyer
Dining Room
Kitchen
Kitchen Stairs to Basement

Left to Finish
Basement (by January 2005)
Bathroom; 2nd Floor (asap)
Laundry Room (by April 2005)
Living Room Stairs (asap)


We hope to knock two of those unfinished items off the list within the next couple weeks but we'll see. The wedding's getting close and things are starting to get a little more expensive. Gifts, gifts, gifts....I think I'm more excited about giving gifts than I am about receiving them. Yea.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

It feels like this week is going by realllly reallllly slow. It's only Tuesday. Ugh, I despise Tuesdays. Tuesday reminds me so much of sophomore year in high school or college - the excitement of being in a new place is long gone and the idea of two more years of school becomes quite draining. With the two combined, you're almost guaranteed total motivation loss and a slight reduction in IQ as a result of becoming a beer....or better yet, a crack whore.

Oh I have to say this because I noticed this yesterday and everyone that reads this blog (if any) are invited to the wedding and yall will totally notice...

Ok so I've been working out right...I've been running, biking, doing crunches, leg lifts, and bench presses, whatever. Now, I've lost a little weight since I've been working out. I've only lost about 11-12 pounds since I started which is ok but considering I haven't gone in a while and I haven't really committed to a diet - I could've done better. Anyway, every week, my strength has gotten better. I can leg lift about 235 lbs. (started at 120lbs) and press between 75-100lbs (started at 35lbs). For my legs, this really isn't a big deal because I've played soccer for 13 years and my legs are used to the muscle. HOWEVER my arms and shoulders haven't ever gotten this kind of treatment. SO herein lies my problem. I tried on my dress yesterday for alterations and oh my god. I turned around and flexed my shoulders in the mirror and holy shnikes I almost cried right there. My arms and shoulders grew like you would NOT believe!!! I can't f-ing believe it. I don't know what I'm going to do. What can I do? Ah nothing. Crap. Crappy Crap Crap Crap. I'm not doing any more push ups or presses for the next two months for one thing!

Monday, September 27, 2004

I wish I could write my post down on a blank piece of paper with a HB pencil and then post it to this website. I think the way that the pencil looks eched into a sheet of paper can indicate a sense of depth or reality in someone's writing. The darkness/lightness of the pencil stroke, the direction of the slant, the round or sharp turns of the letters - all of it. It's not just the content of someone's confession, it's the emotional drive that gets keeps their hand from leaving the blank slate.

I don't know, maybe it's just me.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

could you find it in your heart, to make this go away, and let me rest in pieces? -Saliva

Thursday, September 23, 2004

heart broken

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I am so embarassed.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

It's beautiful outside today! Sunny, no clouds in the sky, a bit on the chilly side like fall normally is....it's beautiful. I felt compelled to write that down.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Yesterday could've been worse I think. I'd say, in hindsight, the day was more nauseating and tremendously uncomfortable than anything else. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I seem to lack the sort-of confidence and self-assurance that is fundamental in my career. I think it's actually causing me to lose focus and drive in everyday work. What's worse is that I mull over my past meetings with customers at least a few times daily and I can sense a feeling of introversion coming over me every time. It's almost like I had this rock solid foundation when I started here and then every time I've turned in a bid and I've been called in to the post-bid conference (pre-award meeting) or any other instance in which I've been asked to discuss my work - I've driven holes of doubt into my foundation. Seriously, now it looks like swiss cheese. My concrete foundation is now acoustical! I've doubted myself and questioned my ability so many times that my solid footings are about to turn to dust. Dust, blog, DUST!

So, how do I learn to be more confident? How do I sit down in meetings or speak with a supplier or customer on the phone and feel certain that what's coming out of my mouth is correct? Oh I have this feeling that once I learn to be decisive and assertive, I'm gonna be good. I will become a mogul - tycoon if you will. I have never felt that way in my life but I can honestly say it now. I'm going to be good. I just have to get over this little hurtle. And I just can't seem to do it just yet.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

I really have a feeling that today is going to be a bad day.

Monday, September 13, 2004

I wanted to say something about Sept 11 on Sept 11 but I felt I should be a good patriot and be supportive instead of critical. Now it's Sept 13 so I'll share my thoughts on the whole memorial service.

Forgive me for saying this, as I definitely do not intend to offend anyone, anywhere....Why was the theme of the whole service "We will never forget"? Honestly, why? When my family buried my great uncles (Larry, Bert, & Dick) this year, we did NOT put 'we will not forget how you died' on their tombstones. We're not going to remember them as they suffered in hospital beds or in hospice, we're going to remember the good and decent people they once were. We're not out for vengence against God for taking them from us, we're going to mourn peacefully.

Why do we have to proclaim "we will never forget"?? Couldn't we be more constructive?? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds just a little morbid?? "we will never forget" how all of you died - how THEY killed you - how we suffered. Why can't it be "We love you" or "We miss you" or "In loving memory"?!?! Why do we feel the need to be angry? The rest of the world will never forget - give New Yorkers and other victims alike some f-ing closure. I don't think pouring salt in open wounds can accelerate the healing process folks. Anger doesn't help people heal.

That makes me sick. How long can we hate someone? How long can we prolong the mourning of Sept 11 2001? How long are we going to remember the destruction of American, Afghani, AND Iraqi lives? How long are we going to be angry?

Saturday, September 11, 2004

When I become president, every monday will be Labor Day.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Dear bloggie,

I am so excited for the wedding - I cannnnnot wait a second more. I just met the drummer (Timmy) from the band we're thinking about having and he was boasting about how spectacular they are. I told him about how Robbie and Jon might play and he was like "yea totally, they can plug right in or use so-and-so's guitar or whatever - we'll jam" Isn't that AWESOME? I have yet to see his band play but my parents said they were great. That makes me really want to spend a little cash and stay in GR for a weekend.

I just started this blueprint reading class last night. It was ok I guess. I hope it's gonna to be helpful. We're focusing on residential plans which isn't my area of expertise but I don't know, maybe I'll learn something. What I'd really like to take though, is a psych class. I'm finding out more and more that I really need to know how to deal with the moodiness in some people. How to understand moods and figure out a way to change them.

I realized in the last few days that this is a very difficult job and you have to be either stubborn or passionate about it to enjoy and/or do well at it. I found I have varying levels of both. For example, on a day like Tuesday, I was made to be embarassed by our roofers about something absolutely stupid --- I'd consider my not quitting right then and there due to overwhelming stubborness. Today, however, started out fantastic and I felt more motivated to work because everything was going just peachy. The guys got most of my job done, I was asked to do more work for more money, the construction manager (CM) told my guys that he'd buy them all lunch Monday, other trades are workin smoothly with my guys, I'm leavin early today, and everything is just great. I'm getting into the passionate side of working here again which makes me happy. It's going well today. I'm just guessing but Monday is probably going to be hell, maybe not, but I'm going to enjoy today.

I guess that's the business.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

I'm hearing voices in my head.

You won't understand but just listen for a moment.

I'm scared shitless. I'm sitting in my office scared out of my f-ing mind. I didn't buy the right screws, Brian needs to pick up other ones. Fuck. It's 10 and I've paid the guys to sit around for two hours because I fucked up. I fucked up. Shit. Brian just called to tell me I didn't have long screws for the saddles. Fuck. What do I do? I want to go out there but what if I fucked up again? What if I need to be here to order other materials? Why? Because I might have fucked up again. Ok, keep your cool, keep it calm. Shit. My throat is dry. Shit I feel dizzy. They don't think I can run this, they don't think I can do it right. Well this is my first job that I get to run and I'm gonna fuck up. They're expecting me to.

I'm not going to lose it though. I might fuck up but I'm not gonna be intimidated. I can do this. Fuck what if I can't do this? No I have to. I wanted this responsibility and now I have it. Don't fuck up Jack. Keep your head on straight. Don't freak out. I'm freaking out. NO stop, this job is running and there's nothing I can do about it but keep my fucking cool and do my fucking job. SEE THE FINISH LINE DAMMIT.
This weekend was nice. Friday Paul and I put the first coat on the office, had a hot & ready pizza, and watched another movie. That was fun. Saturday, Paul went to work and I stayed home and painted the stairs in the basement and the foyer. Prepped, painted, everything. I even had time to clean, well a little. Then, we went over to Scott's house where we met Lindsay, Axel, Alysha, Scott's family, Angela, and Tim. We drank, sat in front of the big gynormus fire, and talked about the old times. That was fun too. Sunday, Paul and I drove home, took the hunk of metal that was in the driveway, put a for sale sign in it, took it down to my office, drove home, spent about 5-6 hours at Arts, Beats and Eats in downtown Pontiac with Axel, Alysha, Scott, Lindsay, Adam, and crap I forgot her name, bought about 150 dollars worth of art which surprisingly isn't that much, hung out at Sevin - a neato bar downtown, went home at 8-9ish, and finally sat down and watched Pay Check. That was exciting but mostly fun. Monday, Paul and I were very happy to stay home and paint. We felt we needed some alone time. So we put a second coat on the office and on the stairs, cleaned the house, did some major laundry, and cooked ourselves some mashed potatoey, green beany, grilled chickeny goodness. We were happy. That was fun.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Well we've made some half-ass progress this week on the house. I can't say I'm not surprised. We taped off the office and we've had the paint for three days but haven't picked up roller yet. I mean sheesh it only takes about an hour to do - I guess we're just lazy. It's disappointing because I really want to have it done, I just don't want to do it. I'm gonna pull it together tonight though. I'm gettin myself some crack and I'm gonna finish all the little stuff this weekend. Yea.

I just found out that my great uncle bert isn't in the best of health and probably won't make it through the weekend. Although I don't really know him, I'm still really sad. I felt the same way when I found out my great uncle dick died last September and my great uncle Larry two months ago. When I was little, these guys were like the clan of grandpa's - they were the only older guys whose names I remember at the Christmas parties, and now they're either sick or passed. Let me tell ya, it's hard to remember all the names at my family's christmas parties - you have to make an impression for someone not to forget your name. My mom's side is Irish Catholic and my dad's is French Canadian for heaven's sake. There are going to be 250 people at the wedding and that's not even half of em!!!

Oh I gotta go. Later yall.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

I can't wait until this weekend. A whole three days to relax, paint, and enjoy the many festivities that will be taking place this weekend. "Arts, Beats, and Eats" is going on all weekend AND the Romeo Peach Festival. It's gonna be kinda cool I think. We found out that we might have a desk later on today so we don't have to type on the floor anymore, which is tubular. Plus, I think I might steal the steamer from my mom and then I'll have two more little rooms painted this weekend. That leaves the bathroom and basement left to do. YES!

We watched the Chris Rock HBO Special last night and I seriously couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. It's SO funny! OH and did you know it's only 2.99 to rent from Blockbuster over here??!! Crazy! Anyhoo - we had some Quizno's too...MMMMMMMMMM Quizno's. The guy basically gave us soup for free because Paul worked down the street. It was crazy sweet and quite tasty. Although, Tim Horton's sandwiches, although smaller, are just slightly better I think. I don't know, maybe it depends on the Tim Horton's you go to. I have to recommend the Iced Cappacino though cause that's just the best...ooooohhhh yeeaaaa.

Anyhoo- I gotta skidaddle- time to mail out a bid form. Later alligators.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Today is September 1st. Can you believe it? The summer went by in a flash - I hope that doesn't happen to autumn. I love fall! That's my favorite season. I can't wait until the leaves turn on my street, I have a feeling it's going to be gorgeous!

Yea!

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I just got this new CD yesterday and it's really good. The band is from Newfoundland, Canada (off the coast of Quebec) and they have the weirdest but coolest accents ever. It's almost like a Canadian accent with an Irish dialect. It's pretty cool. Anyhoo- so I was listening to it this morning and I was, for the first time in a few weeks, not sleepy on the way in to work. I was all "oh you can go in front of me sir, oh you too lady, go ahead it's ok" and "hellllloooooo, may I had a Iced Cap please?" People were looking at me weird. So now on, even if I'm happy, I'm still going to act grumpy so that no one will look at me with evil sleepy eyes.

I have to go to class next week. This sucks. I think it's 6 weeks long, every Thursday from 6-9pm. It's going to teach me how to read blueprints. Whatever. Anything that can help me with this job is good I think. Hey you never know, one day I might need to know how to read plumbing, mechanical, or even signage specs. You might see me on Who Wants to Be a Millionare with Meredith one day and I might get a question like "what does the symbol swiggly line dot swiggly line indicate?"

Ah, who am I kidding. This blows.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Served with Love

This weekend was AWESOME. It started out to be kinda "hmmmm" though. Let me explain. YOu know when you go to King Wok's and you're like "oh yea, this is so great, Chinese is great, mmm sweet and sour chicken, great!" and then you go home, sit down to watch TV and then all of a sudden you get this weird look on you're face and you're roommate asks you if you feel ok and you're like "hmmmm I had a lot of chinese"?? That was us Friday night. We finally tried the chinese place down the street and it really wasn't as good as King Wok. They packed up a ton of food for us though. Who knew you could fit like three meals in those little carry out boxes? TOo bad we couldn't save any food...cold chinese, yuck...gag me with a spoon!

Saturday was a terrific day. I got to go to Karin's party and I brought home some presents afterwards. It was fun! I'll have to tell you about it later....it's very much off the record, on the QT, and very Hush Hush. (tell me where that's from and I'll send you a quarter!)

Saturday night, Karin, Roxanne, Scott, Lindsay, Axel, Allisha, Paul, and I all went out to the Tiki Bob's in Pontiac. Scott and I got loaded, I don't think Karin and Linds were all that tipsy, and Paulie, Axel, and Allisha were just drinkin all night. I had such a good time, sometimes drinking can bring out the best in you. Karin's got proof of that in her voicemail box, compliments of yours truly.

Sunday was Fantastic. I had my first shower and it went off without a hitch. There were so many people there! I couldn't believe it! I wasn't really nervous until I got there - then I started to shake a little. It was kinda funny though, I couldn't tell if it was the hangover or the fact that a large majority of the people there, were people I didn't know. Mrs. Walters and Paul's Aunt Laurie did an amazing job putting it together. The Brabb House was absolutely gorgeous! Paulie came at the end for the opening of the gifts. I'm very happy, surprised, and flattered by the generosity of people. We had so many gifts it could barely fit in my mom's suburban, even with the seats down! It took us a half hour just to put it all in my house! It was wonderful though - I finally get to make a trip to Salvation Army and donate all the cheap old stuff I've been keeping around. Everyone was so amazing and so nice. I know less than 1% of the people there read my blog, but thank you all again anyway.

I was thinking last night though, Paul and I got a TON of stuff at this shower.....is there going to be anything left for the next two????!! I'm open to suggestions - please email!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

MORE PICTURES!!!!

MY HOUSE
What up.

My little bro stopped by last night and hung out for a bit. He was supposed to pick up a few things from the garage but a couple of days ago he smashed his thumb with a hammer so he was all doped up and I couldn't move the stuff myself. It was cool though, he likes the house too. I wish I would've taken photos of the 'before' and 'after' - it would've made more of an impact I think. Speaking of the house, I'm going to update the picture sometime this week....maybe tomorrow.

Oh ok so this is good. I just remembered this happened last night. SO I thought when Paul moved out of Axel's house we would never have to deal with the 'small animal' problem again....BUUuuuuuuuttt no. To start, I HATE small little wild animals. I HATE them. I don't mind dogs, cats, gerbils, hamsters, snakes, whatever. If it's a pet I don't care. But when it comes to little wild running/flying animals that are SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE I have a problem.

Last night we went to Meijer at about 8ish for some food for stir fry. We shopped for about a half hour and then rushed home to cook it. Half hour after that, we started watching this TERRIBLE movie called, Torque and started eatin. Paul ran upstairs a few minutes later to anwser his phone and so I'm still chillin in the basement, eatin. All of a sudden a FRIGGIN BAT comes out of nowhere and starts flying around the basement. I was like "Ahhhhh! Paullie! EWE!!!" It was crazy!

I hate them I hate them I hate them. Stupid bats why can't they just stay outside???

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

OOOOOHHHH it's only Tuesday!!! I'd love it if it was Friday, then I could go back to sleep.

I need my dad's super-crack coffee. I stayed up too late!

Monday, August 23, 2004

This weekend went well, although it started off pretty ANNOYING. Friday, I had four people working to get my 27 estimates done and ready to turn in. Yes, I wrote 27. I'd been on overdrive all week trying to get those things done but I just couldn't do them all correctly myself. Tom was scolding me, saying that I should never do that to myself because I could very possibly make a very VERY big mistake....to the tune of a couple thousand bucks....per estimate. I just wanted more practice you know? I guess I thought that if I could perform overloaded and under pressure I could cruise through regular estimating work. I don't know, I did alright but not perfect.

So as soon as we finished both bids (27 combined estimates for 2 bids), I had another coworker drop off the one and I drove out to Lansing for the other. I had to leave super early though cause my car is dying and won't go over 65 anymore. BUT I made it and that was good. So while I was there I starting calling people I knew who went to school in Lansing. Well, I ended up going out with MTP who I haven't seen in almost two years and it turned out to be a really great time. I still strongly dislike Lansing but lunch was good, really good. I like that place...Harry's I think it was called. I could only eat half of the sandwich but it provided me with some comfort later on in the evening.

Which leads me to the next big event on Friday. I was about 2 blocks from my house when I get a phone call from my mom saying that I needed to go out to HOWELL to pick her car up because it was also dying. (Back Story: I decided to take a work truck home cause I didn't want to use my broken car anymore) Then my dad calls and tells me that the truck pulls my mom's horses better than any other car so I need to go out there and get her. SO I drove out to Howell at 5pm, mind you, in traffic hell, to trade one working truck for another broken one. Then, I'm complaining to my dad right, so then he tells me I need to drive all the way back to his house and pick up his truck. So I ended up getting home at like 8:30ish with my dad's truck. I get to work at 7:15 every morning so I was friggin exhausted.

I wake up at about 9:30ish on Saturday and cleaned the house, including our new guest room, then went shopping up at Summit. I get home, put the new sheets and food away and then I check my messages. I couldn't turn on my phone all weekend because my wall charger is at work and my car charger is in my truck, at work. I find out I got a call from my dad at 10am that he needed the keys to the Mustang in his truck. It was 4pm in the afternoon. I started shaking. "you mean, he worked on that mustang for weeks for the dream cruise this weekend and now he can't even take it out because I have the keeys????? Oh shit he's gonna kill me"

As you can see I'm still alive but I haven't seen him yet today so that doesn't really tell ya anything.

Anyhoo- Sunday went alright. Church at 10, big breakfast, nap till a little before 3, went to Somerset to pick out some silver plated flatware, couldn't find any, went to Romeo for a visit to the in-laws, picked up an extra bed frame for the guest room, went home, put it together, grilled some burgers, watched a little Super Troopers, and went to bed. It was good. Now I have a guest room for anyone who wants to come into town to party for the weekend or somin.

Well, I better go, I scheduled a boring day for myself after the craziness of last week. I better get to it. Snoogans.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I love this new internet deal I have at my house. I can write AND listen to the radio...ONLINE. That's right, I don't have to download any songs or deal with shotty recordings, I can just listen to it and enjoy it. I find that very exciting by the way....if you couldn't already tell.

Well, I have one more coat to put on the guest room and then it's off to buy a bed frame, a box spring, some frames, and maybe a slipcover. Once that's all bought and finished I can start on the office. I'm not sure what color we're doing yet but as soon as I do I'll let you know.

I'm totally and completely swamped at the office and have been for the last few days. I've been trying to take breaks and write - which makes me feel better and motivates me to finish my work a little but it's tough. I have deadlines to meet and estimates to do and jobs to, hopefully, get and run. The upside is that I found a new love of being busy. I like the pressure and the challenge but I hate the stress. My back has been slowly killing me for the last two/three weeks. Occasionally I'll make a stupid snide remark to my husband to be, which again, is stupid and foolish of me but I'm still learning to deal with the work stress at home. I hope he knows it's not him I'm frustrated with sometimes. It's more or less myself. Estimating, as I'm beginning to understand, is a job that requires one person to supervise over an entire company's projects. If I forget something and it ends up costing WAY more than I anticipated, I could end up losing my job and maybe sinking the company. The responsibility is on the estimator. I failed to see that during my "internship" summers. It's scary and hard to swallow sometimes.

You know if had read the last few lines of the last paragraph before I started working at the office full time I probably would've just said "duh" and moved on. I guess I didn't really get it until now.


Things have really just hit me lately. It's the end of August and I'm not moving to school. I have a BA in my office here, at home, sitting on an semi-full box underneath a High School Diploma. I've spent thousands of dollars on a small piece of land in Pontiac and I'm only 22 years old. I mean last year was the first year I was able to drink legally in this country and now I have a house???!! I'm getting married in about 3 months. I have to send almost 300 invitations out in a few weeks. I have a car that doesn't work, a full time job, and a slowly diminishing bank account. A little over three years ago, I was sitting outside a dorm door, talking to steve with jen, and wondering when we'd go to South Haven again.

I love my life now but those are the times i miss the most....my life has come so far but I still miss it.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

It's been updated!!!

My Hizzouse

Monday, August 16, 2004

Hey dudes and dudettes!

Well this weekend went well for the pontiac kids(I'm still working on nicknames my "new" hometown). We spent all Saturday doing yard work, picking up groceries, and finally buying/assembling our coffee and end tables. We got a really nice deal for some unfinished furniture at Lowe's - 88 smackeroo's for a coffee table that we can customize ourselves. We thought 58 was a reasonable price for a large end table too - it fits perfectly.

As Saturday night rolled along, Karin and Linds showed up and we cracked open a couple of beers and a bottle of wine, broke out the chips and dip, and relaxed on the overstuffed couches. A little while later, we fired up the grill (for the first time ever - it was nice) and cooked us up some dogs and chickens. MMM just thinking about it makes me hungry....I should of eatin breakfast. Shhooot. Anyhoo- Mike and Mindy showed up with Connor (their 8 week old) which was really nice. I'm glad I was finally able to put a face to the guy Paul's been talking about for a couple of weeks. They're such a cute/nice/adorable little family! Scott and Lindsay stopped by as well and we stayed up until almost 2am drinkin and laughin. It was fun. Yea good times.

Sunday, we finally made it out to Kzoo by 1pm. First stop scheduled was the mall for some bill payin'. We saw Ryan, talked to him for like four hours but that's ok cause he's the boss. It was good to hear from him. I wish I could stopped by to see everyone else but after the mall, dropping off a trailer for Axel, moving the desk, AND hauling that "stupid ugly I hate it" sectional home, there was no time left over to even sleep. Ok well I did sleep but you know what I mean. But still, we had a good time. Gotta tell ya though, I'm a little upset my former roommate didn't show up to make sure everything was honky doory but what can you do? Well, I could've done something - but I didn't. I have to be poked and prodded for weeks in order to turn to malice. Oh well it's done.

On a happier note, I'm working on getting some more pictures for "My hizzouse" site. This is kindof a frustration for me though. I was going to use angelfire because I could play with the HTML and get the pictures all up on the same site but for some reason I can't get it to do what I want it to do. SOO I went to geocities. It's not my first choice but it'll do I guess.

Well I better go guys and gals. I'll see ya on the flip side.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Dude! I have pictures of the house! I'll try to update it every week for those who can't make it over to the east side to check it out. I'm still workin on getting more pictures to post but we'll see!

Take a Look!

my hizzouse

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

This is one of my favorite songs in one of my favorite movies ever:

Yo, the name is Batty, The logic is erratic, Potato in a jacket, Toys in the attic, I rock and I ramble, My brain is scrambled, Rap like an animal but I'm a mammal, I been brain-fried, electrified, infected and injectified, Vivosectified and fed pesticides, My face is all cut up, My radar's all shut up, Nurse I need a check-up from the neck up, I'm Batty...
I'm so busy lately. I guess this is the business eh? -- one day you're up to your eye balls in work and the next you're fiddlin your thumbs. I need a vacation. Or coffee. Or crack...yea crack. That way I get my work done faster and keep myself busy on slow days. Sweet.

Monday, August 09, 2004

MMM coffee.

Did you know that there are 4.5 weeks in this month? Hmm. Did you also know that almost every calendar has exactly 35 spaces to put numbers in? Neither did I.

My truck is dying and I'm worried. It's been so good to me these past few years and I don't want it to die. She just can't die! - because my truck is a good little red fire engine and because I can't really afford to buy a new one now that my house is burning a hole in my wallet. Oh but a new truck in the driveway would look so nice! NO NO STOP - can't think that can't think that! I loves ma truck......i loves ma lil truck!

Sunday, August 08, 2004

I'm writing a blog from my new house.....finally. This is great. Now I just have to get a desk so that I don't have to sit on the hard floor.

My grass is almost 7" tall. I don't have a lawn mower to mow it so I figure, if someone has a problem with my grass being 7" tall then they can come over and mow it for me.

I have some very big couches in my living room right now. I have no idear why we had to take every single one of the doors off my house to get them in the living room but it worked.

I went canoeing this weekend and I had a fantastic time. I binged on alcohol all night Friday and pretty much all day Saturday on the river. I haven't canoed on that river since I was 8 or 9 I think. It was nice to not only meet and hang out with all of my older brothers friends but also relive some old joyous childhood memories.

I can't type anymore tonight - I'm beat and in need of some comfy sheets. Lata!

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Yea Furniture

I'm going to pick up my couches today! Yea! The last of this week's "afternoon busynesses". Yea that's what I'm going to call my afternoon's now; "afternoon busynesses". Have I told you yet about my crazy schedule??

Well, it begins with this: If you'd like to schedule an appointment with Jackie, you must book her two months ahead of time for weekends and four days ahead of time for weekdays. I'd like to think that I'm only really busy because .... well because people just can't get enough of me but sadly (and somewhat gladly), no one really loves me THAT much ;) It's really just that at this point in the year, everything is jumbled and unsettled. That is, my apartment lease is almost up, I need to move some of my things from one apartment to another, bridal showers are scheduled, canoe & biking trips are still going on, there's work that needs to be done around the house, aunts and cousins are coming in from out of town, and work is starting to pick up at the office. Every word that comes out of my mouth has either started with "Tonight I'm going to ___________" or "Tomorrow I have to ____________" I'm not entirely used to it yet but I definitely learned to appreciate being busy as opposed to being bored.

But enough about that. Tonight I'm going to get my couches. Well more like couch and chair but whatever, it's still fun for me. YEA yEa YeA! Then my main floor is 97% done ( I still need a coffee table and 2nd end table - and they need to be painted)!! I'm so excited!! SO EXCITED! Oh yea and that reminds me:

Lindsay S
Karin
Roxanne
Ryan & Jen
Joe D & Heather
Robbie & Lola (if you guys haven't left yet)
Laura & Yerty
Scott & Lindsay P
Axel & Alysha (sp?)
Heather (my cousin)
Jon & Johanna
Sarah & Pat
Dan
...EVERYONE! (& if I forgot you I promise I will buy you a soda because I'm really really sorry and gifts always make things better) We're having a little housewarming thing/shindig/keggerator/party/gathering night at the new house on thee 14th, so come on over. The new address is:
482 West Iroquois
Pontiac, Michigan 48341
Maps

Call or email if you need anything!!

Monday, August 02, 2004

My feet ache

Well the house is coming together...sort of. Paul has to sort his things in the garage before bringing them into the house - there is just too much stuff. It took us 3 trucks and a 6x12' trailer to move ALL of his things back to the house. SHHEEEESSHHH. I'm glad that it only took us a day to move it though, at least it wasn't two or three weeks of moving. I hate moving. I HATE it with a burning, flaming, firey passion. I'm going to put a little away each week for the next five years, so that when it comes time to move again - I can afford to hire someone to do it for me. I HATE IT.

Aside from all the moving and the walking and the feet hurting, we hauled ass getting the house done. We still have some detailing in the living room to do but the main floor is about 95% done. All we need to do is to finish the cabinets, pick up the couches, and arrange the furniture. THEN, it's on to the upstairs. We'll finish painting the walls, set up the guest bedroom, fix the bathroom, and probably put my computer up on storage bins until we can squeeze a few dollars out for our desk. THEN, it's on to the basement. We'll stain the barn wood and work on tearing the carpet up but no rush.

I know it sounds like a lot of work and you're right. It is but it isn't at the same time. It's a lot of work when you also consider the fact that we've already done the main floor but if we could each do one room at the same time (in the upstairs), it will take us about 7 days. Hey that's better than me doing it by myself.....if that was the case, it would've been 14 days and the upstairs is done. It would take less time if we had all day to wait for each coat to dry.

As I was driving away this morning, I noticed that my lawn greener/plant feeder spray thing worked. If you don't notice the fact that it's now 6 inches tall - the lawn looks great!!!! It's so greeeeen! Yea! I'm so old - who gets excited about a lawn?? Your parents?? Yea. Great.

:) Lata