A lawyer is questioning a doctor on whether or not he took the proper steps befor signing a deceased client's death certificate...
" Did you check the man's pulse?" asked the lawyer.
" No." said the doctor
" Did you check for any other signs that might indicate my client might still be alive?"
" No." said the doctor.
" So you admit that you did not follow the proper steps befor signing the death certificate."
" Well," the doctor explained," I'll put it to you this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but for all we know he could be out practicing law somewhere."
A man walks into a lawyers office and sits himself down. "How much?"
"$150 for three questions."
"That's quite expensive. Are you any good?"
"The best there is. Now then, what's your third question?"
At the height of happy hour, a drunk stood up and yelled, "All lawyers are assholes."
"Hey, I resent that," a guy at the bar yelled back.
Why?" the first guy asked, "are you a lawyer?"
"No, I'm an asshole."
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: What is a criminal lawyer?
I just wanted a clever way to say that I got into the only law school that I applied to like 7 months ago. Oh yea, and I got an honors scholarship. I haven't decided whether or not to go but for now, I just wanted to say that.