Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I've got so many New Years resolutions for 2007, more than any other year. I don't think I've ever felt as compelled to follow them before either. It's really a bizarre feeling but it's good..... really good.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


It was a fantastic four days! I can't tell you how many times we talked about moving here.....maybe someday we'll be that lucky!

Pdubs on vacation last weekend.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I'm off to CO this afternoon. I'm excited to take a few days off but I'm nervous for the flight. It's not that I'm afraid of flying or anything, it's just that I'm sensitive to the pressure changes and it makes me anxious and tense.....if that makes sense (ha! I rhymed). To put it plainly, it feels like you have little tiny, ear canal-sized balloons that fill up as the plane gets higher in altitude and even though you pop your ears it's never enough -- the little balloons never stop filling up until you start to land. .... my head hurts just thinking about it. DERP.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

So the other night I was buzzing around the net trying to find anything that would spark some sort of idea of what my dad would really love for christmas. After about 25 minutes, I finally end up at amazon, flipping through some DVD titles. I picked out a few classics but I forgot to renew my credit card on that site so I was out of luck anyway.

Before I logged off the site, I looked up one of my favorite christmas movies ever; Scrooged. I never thought Bill Murray was funny as a kid but now I find him very amusing. Anyhoo, I remembered this part in the movie (mind me, I've been obsessed with movies lately) where Bill Murray's character is standing in front of his set and this guy comes up to him with a mouse in his hand. The set guy is like "sir, i've tried and tried but I can't glue these antlers on the mouses head!" Bill Murray, god bless him, says "did you try staples?" I died.

I'm worried. Have I honestly gotten this cynical? I used to react to those types of things with a "what?! ohhhh! I can't believe he just said that." I've seriously turned into a contemptuous jerk face. I'm very concerned about this. I need to reevaluate whether or not I like this side of myself. ..... blog, I'll get back to you.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

ok so there's this part in National Treasure that always makes me laugh whenever I replay it in my head and for some reason I thought of it again this morning. For those who've seen it, remember the part where Riley gets all excited because he knows that daylight savings time didn't start until the twentieth century and Ben & Abigail didn't? my favorite part is when Riley says "No, we didn't. We didn't miss it because... you don't know this? I know something about history that you don't know?! .... Hold on one second, let me just take in this moment. This is cool. Is this how you feel all the time? Well, except now."

I felt like that yesterday and it was awesome. It was like driving a ball from the tee and landing 2 yards from the pin while you're on the phone with your boss and you find out you're getting a promotion and a raise, then finding a fifty on the green. sweeeeet.

Monday, December 04, 2006

I totally opened a holiday gift box this morning that was intended for the people upstairs. Oooops! Now I'll probly have to dispose all of the delicious chocolate candy so there's no evidence of any villiany. Mmmmmm chocolate evidence.....

Speaking of bad calories, I've been seriously working on changing my everyday diet. So far, I've been quite successful in eating healthier and reducing the amount of food I eat during the week. Combined with a new cardio regimen 3 days a week, I've been feeling really good about myself which is nice. My only flaw is that when I get to the weekend, I COMPLETELY blow it. And I don't mean like I don't run or I slip and have like a candybar or something - I mean I completely lose it. It all starts with pizza, then it moves to pizza bread, then the next day it's cold pizza (I freakin love cold pizza), then it's fast food, then it's cake or popsicles, then hours upon hours of tv, then chips and dip...it's terrible. The whole rest of the week I'm trying to work off all of the crap I digested during the weekend. I swear man, it's a vicious cycle and it all starts with the gateway drug : pizza.

There should be a patch similar to the nicotine patch - but for pizza.

god i love pizza.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

its amazing how one second can change our entire lives. sometimes I forget life doesn't have a rewind button.

Friday, December 01, 2006

My brother is moving to our other building. He came in yesterday and stole the computer for his new office and then told me I better snatch up the space before anyone else tries to move in. I told him that I'd consider the thought.

To be honest, I don't want to move in his old office. If I do, it only means that him moving down the street is permanent and I'd rather pretend that it's only temporary. I know he's focusing on getting his welding shop back up and running and I understand but still, this sucks. I'm singled out as the "rookie" of the office again and I can't tell you how insane that word makes me (but that's for another post). At least when he was here, we were like a little support group for each other. Now he's the go-to guy for welding & machines.

Don't get me wrong, he's a freakin genius when it comes to that stuff and I'm so happy that he's the head guy over there - I think it's a good solid career move for him ...........I guess........welll.....it's just that it's lonely at the bottom of the food chain. I miss him. :(

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

We watched Thank You For Smoking this past weekend. I thought it was marvelous. The dialogue/story line was absolutely brilliant. Basically, it's about the political endurance of a tobacco lobbyist and his exceptional talent in spinning the truth about tobacco. It is honestly one of those films that I regret not spending $20 and seeing it in the theater. It was fantastic.

btw - happy 1,101st post blog!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Did you see this blog?! I'm stunned!

Written By : Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Tribune
O.J. programs show a lot about today's mediaPublished November 15, 2006


So the folks at Fox Broadcasting, class acts that they are, announced Tuesday they have scheduled not one but two one-hour programs for later this month in which O.J. Simpson, class act that he is, will explain how he would have killed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

You know. If he had killed them. If.

Not sleazy enough for you? The interview is to be conducted by publisher Judith Regan, class act that she is, whose Regan imprint for HarperCollins, class act that it is, will put out Simpson's hypothetically confessional "If I Did It." Because HarperCollins and Fox are both News Corp. companies, it's one hand soiling the other.

Mike Darnell, Fox's executive vice president of alternative programming, said in a statement heralding "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," "This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen."

And that's undoubtedly true. For a lot of reasons. Not the least of which is it's tasteless and utterly unnecessary.

What's O.J. going to say? That he never would have slashed their throats but might have stuffed them in a sack and drowned them in the ocean? That he would have poisoned them? Maybe he'll claim he was Col. Mustard in the drawing room with the candlestick?

The second hour is slated to air Nov. 29, the day before the book hits stores. But what's more interesting is that the first hour is scheduled for Nov. 27, a 30th anniversary of note.

It was on that day in 1976 that Paddy Chayefsky's "Network," a sadly prophetic satire that looks more understated each day, was released.Giving a man, acquitted of double murder but found responsible for the crimes in civil court, a broadcast forum to profit from playing "what if" is perfectly in keeping with Chayefsky's vision of entertainment values trumping those of news--and morality.

It seemed absurd 30 years ago that a man who, upon learning he was losing his job to low ratings, would get to keep his job after an on-air threat to commit suicide, become a big star, then have the network order him killed by terrorists (who had their own reality show) when his popularity declined.

Now we have O.J.......(see Chicago Tribune for more.....)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

these little yellow pills are supposed to be day time sinus medication but I'm feeling very sleepy. this concerns me a little. i hope i took the right ones. last night, paul gave me the night time ones and told me that they'll make me feel better. i think he was really giving me the pills so that he could watch boyd coddington. i can't stand that man and his holier-than-thou attitude....which is probably why everyone keeps leaving for chip foose. dah well. i should get back to my coffee.

Friday, November 10, 2006

i want light gray/white hair when i grow up. i think that would be nice.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

This is gonna get worse I know it.

Ever heard of a quarter life crisis? I think I'm going through it. There's been a few people this year who've told me that I seem more like 28 than 24. I didn't think I would be at first but I'm a little put off by that now. In fact I'm honestly getting a wicked complex from it. I keep thinking that when I'm 30, people are gonna think I should be interested in joining the AARP. How the hell did this happen? How do I not act 28? What does a normal 24 year old do that makes people think that they are actually 24? I'm so confused. Maybe I should go to Vegas and blow like 10,000 big ones and then come back and when everyone's like .... "what were you thinking?!" ... I'll be like well I'm only 24 then they'll be like .. "oh, that's right, she's only 24. Dah well, you win some you lose some right?"

I just hope that when I'm 45, I don't turn into this psycho woman who's obsessed with making up for all times people thought I was older so now I'd work double time to make people think I was 10 years younger. Man, I don't want to be a bar fly at 45.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

that last post made no sense. ;)


Derp.
Happy Voter Day Everyone!

Last Friday night, while I was out at the bar with K, I met this guy who happens to work right down the street from me. At first, I really didn't want to talk to him because I hadn't seen or talked to K in like months and he was trying to talk to me about beer while downing Molson Canadians with his buddy. I didn't want to bar talk to anyone really - I just wanted to talk to K & S - so I put him off. Then at some point, I felt bad so I started talking to him. The dude is like 45-50 and refuses to vote because he claims he's not "educated" enough on the topic and doesn't care to be.

Sometimes, it amazes me how ridiculous some people can be. Vote, don't vote, I don't care - just don't act like I'm the asshole for wanting to vote for myself. Then he starts complaining about the taxes in his neighborhood and how expensive they are and blah blah blah. I'm like if I could live in a city considered among the richest in Michigan or hell, in the nation, I wouldn't dare complain about taxes - I would probably lie face down in my driveway, making out with the asphalt.

Anyhoo - my point of this story is: it's so simple to search the net for info on elections these days and it seriously takes 20 minutes or so to vote.......so I like to ask myself - why not vote? And honestly, I can't think of one answer that doesn't have to do with me being a lazy nerd. So I vote.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
She said
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston... where no one knows my name...

Augustana

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Last night after work, I went to Davids Bridal for a bridesmaid dress. I was definitely NOT excited about going to this place because every time I've tried to go there, it's been packed with brides, mothers, sisters, attendants and whoever else. When it's crazy like that, you can never get anyone to help you so I figured it would probably be good to make an appointment. I walked in about 15 minutes before my appointment and there was one other person there.....I was stunned.

When I walked in, I approached this lady and told her my name, that I had an appointment, and why I was there. Her response : "when's your wedding date?" I kinda laughed and said that I was only there to try on the bridesmaid dress. She then asks me : "oh alright....(Pause)....did you bring any bridesmaids with you?" Ok, now I'm a little annoyed because I feel like she's not listening to me. I waited until she looked up, then I looked her straight in the eye and said "I AM a bridesmaid." She finally got it.

She seems to be nice so I talked to her for a little bit about what I was looking for. She pulls me this dress and she's tells me that it will probably be too big but she doesn't have anything smaller. I'm a little more annoyed but I'm trying my best not to be. I wish she would've asked me my size and the dress on the phone when I made the appointment. Then if they didn't have the right size they could tell me and not make me drive all the way across town for nothing.....but it's ok...I was fine.

While trying on this dress....and wait let me remind you Blog, that there is only one other person in the store at this point.....some other saleswoman opens the door by mistake while I'm attempting to put on this dress. For the love of bridal gowns, of all the dressing rooms in this store, you HAVE to pick mine?! It's ok though, I didn't get angry, I kept it cool. I get the thing on and of course, it's way too big. The lady walks over and grabs the back of it, pulling it so tight I have to take a few steps back. She asks another saleswoman to come over and check the dress and then both of them come up with the appropriate size.

As I'm being checked out, I ask if they can put the order through GR like the bride has instructed. She blurted out something about dye-outs and then said something to the effect of "we don't have that and it's coming here." I'm not really sure what that means but I think I have to call J about it.

It was quite a frustrating experience. Eh, it was alright though. I'd do it again for J....and I love the dress.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006



Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I can't believe October is almost over. The last few weeks felt like a fall rush, haven't they? Nature was all like "oh it's kinda warm for the end of the summer....BAM! Freezing! Now you have to clean up leaves for the 2nd time this week! Ha Ha."

I hate Lawn Refuse bags. I hate them for the piles of leaves they imply I have to pick up. I hate them for their "tear resistant" construction because they're only "tear resistant" when you don't pick them up. I hate them for their brand labels because then eveyone can know where I buy my lawn bags. Lastly, I hate them simply because if I buy them, that means that the leaves are no longer looking gorgeous on some tree somewhere.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

i love the curb appeal or home design shows. It makes me feel creative. yesterday, i felt so creative that i decided to paint our office. It was great - took me all day but when I was done, it turned out awesome. today, paul is gonna make me a desk so that there's space for all this useless crap. I love useless crap.

Friday, October 20, 2006

I miss my brother. ....Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for him and Kris .....but still.....he's been on his honeymoon for like 7 and a half days so far - that's so long! I want him to buy a new house with Kris near us and then they can be happy and then he can come back to work and be happy and then we can go to lunch because it seriously sucks sitting in the conference room watching Jerry Springer all by myself. ... I hope they had a good time this week. It seemed like they really needed it.

Blog, did I show you my haircut yet??!






I am so not productive right now. Ok, enough fun, I gotta go. Later Blog.

Thursday, October 19, 2006



Ah!

Monday, October 16, 2006

I'm frustrated with the hard rock stations on winamp. I want to listen to Disturbed, Tristania, Static X, and maybe a little Rise Against....hell maybe even Cradle of Filth but NOOOOOOOO -- I'm on a constant buffer with those stations. I can't even get one to come in right. Now I have to listen to this pop punk station that occassionally plays Snow Patrol. Did these webhosts sleep through Punk 101? Snow Patrol on a punk station, grouped with bands like Social Distortion or Less Than Jake, is like the Henry Rollins Band on Live 107 Southern American Country Music......it's odd and so so wrong.

Btw - what happen to go 'ole Henry Rollins?

Friday, October 13, 2006



So much untapped potential....pity.
I cut my hair! Oh it's so short and I love it. The guy took an hour and a half to shed 75% of my hair off my head but it was so worth it. After I left, I made the official decision not to go with anyone else ever. Keith at Liquid is my favorite and bestest hairstylist guy forever and ever. Hey! He's my BHF! I'm such a dork. Derp.

Whatev - it makes me feel happy on the inside.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I want to take a train. I want to travel around Europe for a week or two. I'd like to speak broken French in Quebec at least once. I want to drive to St. Louis to see the "gateway to the west". I definitely want to do something crazy.

Monday, October 09, 2006

I am so embarrassed. I just had to tell someone. I don't want to make a big deal out of it because I know it just gets worse when you do that .... but still, I'm so embarrassed. I hate that feeling too. I didn't do THAT much (I don't think) and it's not as if I was the only one drinking - but honestly, if I never see another bottle of whiskey, it'll be too soon. WHooo!


Congratulations to my brother and his new bride!

Horray!

Friday, October 06, 2006

I went to the bar last night.

I spent entirely too much $.

I've decided NOT to stay that long anymore.

I need to stop forgetting to eat.

I'm such an idiot.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

This is great. This is so great. My brother is getting married in 3 days. I'm so excited.

I picked up my dress from the alterations guy yesterday. It looks fantastic but I'm very unimpressed with my shoes. I was about a half of a color off when I picked the dye so the shoes are a shmige more orange when they should be slightly more red. I think I might eventually get over it.

I got the itch to go out and party and dance and drink and go insanely wild. I don't think it's because I'm excited about the wedding but I'm not sure. Alls I know is that I want to start livin it up.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I'm spying on my neighbors right now. Normally I would tell myself to get a life but this is interesting.....

All together we've got five interesting neighbors on our block. First, there's the Rednecks. The Rednecks have at least 15 family members who come over at random times during the day and play music or sports loudly in their driveway. For the most part, they're all friendly and somewhat courteous about being loud or bringing the dogs in when they bark non-stop. Overall though, they seem to be good people.

Second, we have the Partners. It's not that we really think these people are gay but we never see a female over there and the one dude always does the gardening and grilling.....so we're thinking they're probably roommates or something...or whatever....who cares. They have a big old dog in the backyard all the time and they keep their yard/house in tip top shape. Overall, they also seem like good people.

Next, there's the Shut-Ins. They mainly keep to themselves but occasionally we see their kids playing in the driveway with their mean lookin but yet wonderfully nice dog. They've only been there for maybe 6 months but it doesn't appear that they'd be interested in neighborhood parties in the future. Overall, they're good neighbors.

To the south of us, we have the Nate-Daves. When we first moved in, I thought the husband's name was Dave and Paul thought his name was Nate so we settled on Nate-Dave. About 2 years later we found out that his name is actually Nate but we don't care. He says it's ok though cause he thought my name was Jennifer. Whatever, - he's cool like that. His wife's name is Chelsea and they just had a baby boy named Lincoln. Nate-Dave has a little surfer/CEO/Salesman thing goin on - which makes him incredibly funny - but overall, they're super people.

Then, we have the Lover's. The Lover's live across the street next to the Homies. I think there's a mom, a grandma, and two teenage girls that live there. They only come out on weekends and sometimes the girls will walk across the street to hang out with the Rednecks. The chickies always seem to look their best when they walk over to the Redneck's place but it could just be that they're high school girls who listen to Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson and they like girly things like make-up and like totally like shopping and like other stuff. Overall, they seem nice.

Lastly, we have the Homies. You know those little plastic toys you buy in the 50 cent machines at the grocery store? The ones that are aptly named Homies or Playaz? One time, I saw this guy standing on his sidewalk just like one of the plastic homies. After that, the name just stuck. They are the most interesting on the block. Last Sunday, we lost power for about 12 hours for some stupid reason. The first thing these people said as they walked out of their front door was "DTE has to at least give us TWO warnings before they shut our power off!!" I guess they didn't know it was a city wide power outage - ooops. Anyhoo - they're the ones who got me writing this blog.

About an hour ago, two of the Homies started a fight in the street. Some girl was screeching, yelling, swearing, and throwing some mad claws out on this one dude. The guy starts yelling back and pushing her away which then escalated into the beginnings of a "domestic dispute". I got about 5 minutes into watching these people when all of a sudden, one of the Partners comes out screaming "shut the hell up! We don't do this in this neighborhood! I will call the Police if you don't get the fuck out of here!" After some more shouting, they break up and get to steppin. Oh, the things that happen in this neighborhood, I swear. It's almost like I live on Burdick again.

Fight Fight Fight!!!!!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I went out with a crewman yesterday after work. I'm the biggest sucker for guiness - i can't believe it. i feel like elaine on that episode of seinfeld when she's coaxed into drinking peach schnapps so that she'll divulge "vault" secrets. anyway, so we got there about 4:30 and by the time i actually got home it was 9. yea ouch. i got into a slight bit of trouble when i got home. I can't help it though, I feel like i'm back in college again but everyone at the bar is like 15 years older. It's nice. it brings back fond memories of the OP and all the other random bar nights in the zoo.

hey 24 is still young right?

Saturday, September 09, 2006

lately i haven't wanted to do anything but go to the bar and just bullshit with a couple of people for like 4 hours. two weeks ago, my crew asked if i was going out to the bar with them and i swear it was like the Van Halen "Hot for Teacher" track clicked on in my brain - i heard the instrumental in the beginning and i was all in. YEAA. i don't really want to go out to like a standing room only bar or a restaurant or anything - i'm just looking for 4 or more stools in front of a sleu of liquors, taps, and peanuts, maybe a baseball or football game on tv, and a cold Guiness on a cocktail napkin in front of me. Some place that's not too busy, somewhat dark, and never really washes the floor. i love that. i want that.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

To sum up the last month and a half or so.......

I played the role of superintendent for nearly two months and I loved every bit of it. I'd even work 8 hour Saturdays for free - in addition to the 15-20 some hours of overtime I put in during the regular week. I turned into a pressure junkie and a "mother hen" as my security friend put it. I'm an addict.

Now the job is over and I'm back in the office. BORING. Nothing exciting happens in here but .. whoa! we got new letterhead! durp.

Labor day was nice. I put together a treadmill while Paul cleaned out the garage. it was an eventful day :)

I've only played golf once this season. that makes me sad on the inside.

geee....i thought i would have more to say but i guess not. sorry guy!


Last night was fun. :)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

i have a secret. i know i complain about working super on this job around my office for the last three weeks but to tell you the truth, it makes me happier than i ever expected. every morning i get up at quarter to five, i get to the site at 6, my guys start work at 6:30, i do what i gotta do, i finally get to go back to the office around 3:30-4, finish paperwork, and I'm on my way home again at 5pm. i don't get overtime for the 20+ hours a week that i devote to this thing but ..... blog, i love it. don't tell anyone. ;)

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I love this photo.


Thursday, August 10, 2006

Overall the last "week-o-vacation" was wonderful. yea.

I had to be at work at 5:30am last Friday which was crappy considering Friday was my first vacation day scheduled and we'd planned on biking all day....but I'm over it. After we finally got settled into the campsite by 4 that afternoon, we decided to cancel the ride and just chill out with a couple of beers. ... That is until Jackie decided to do something stupid and go riding for an hour anyway. This photo is going in the file marked "things to teach our kids not to do" :



It's been a long time since I've had to deal with a bruise like that but I definitely deserve it for doin wheelies..in sand...late afternoon....by myself. I didn't break my bike though - that makes me happy.

Anyhoo, so after canoeing all day Saturday and biking at half strength on Sunday, we headed over to the cottage for a couple of days. Turns out the weather was fantastic which made for a very relaxing 3 days. .....That is, until I burned the bejesus out of the back of my legs. I only take half the blame for that though -- of all the days in August that the guys could powerwash and seal the deck, it just happened to be the days we're there. So when the guy came at 4pm Tuesday to work, we had to wait to walk on the deck for 3+ hours while the sealer cured. My spf 45 apparently didn't want to last that long.

The whole thing would've been fine if we knew he was coming or how long it was going to take him to finish but I don't think he expected us to be there so he never called. Oh well I guess. Here's a photo of the beach from the deck. Enjoy.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I might not look happy or energetic but on this inside, I'm so excited to go away this weekend. Yea.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sometimes I get all worked up over things that shouldn't even be that big of a deal. Last week I took over this job for this customer who is EXTREMELY sensitive, in the sense that he watches over us like a hawk. Every little thing we do is evaluated by 10-15 people of whom scrupulously check for proper job procedure, safety, or union compliance, and then it's recorded with this utter malevolence that almost makes you feel like the writing on the page could leap off the report and strangle you as soon as you finish reading it. No one wants us there but yet I still go back every morning.

I think I make a big deal over the fact that there's tension between us and the customer but I can't help it. My administrative side wants to please the customer and ease out any hostility between us. I want them to know that I take a tremendous amount of pride and care in what I do and when I say I want something done, my guys listen. Then again, my worker-bee side comes out and I want to run things as smoothly and as quickly as possible. I don't want anyone to mess with my crew because it might take them away from what they're doing. So I don't make my guys worry about little details like gum wrappers or cigarette butts. ... I don't know......I ultimately end up acting like an overprotective tight ass that seriously needs to calm the f down.

So today, I took it slow and easy. I dealt with the issues that needed dealing with and passed off the ones that shouldn't be my responsiblity. I'm not letting myself get too far into this thing. I'm going to consciously make an effort not to turn into a basket case. From now on man, I'm totally level-headed.

Course then after I'm all well and good, I get a message from a cheapo that doesn't want to pay a $195.00 bill for something his builder caused. Nothing like a good kick in the teeth to make you re-evaluate your day. I'm alright though, I didn't stutter or hesitate when I spoke with the guy, even after he nearly lost his temper trying to convince me that this situation is my fault. Eh well, he'll get his some day - I know it.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The day is just approaching it's midpoint and I'm already ready to go home.

I spilled coffee on my shirt on the way to a job this morning. I'm supposed to be replacing a super which means that I have to be this tough-guy-badass on the roof .... but it's kinda hard with coffee stains on my shirt. I mean, how can you manage a crew of grimy, crude roofers if you can't even manage NOT spilling coffee on your shirt? I guess the trick is to have them care more about what I say than what I look like......

Monday, July 24, 2006



Congrats!!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Blog, I wish you could've seen the feat Paul and I conquered last night. It was almost as if we drove around in one massive protective bubble that allowed us to complete our task safely and steadily. We towed a 5500 lbs. Chevy Suburban with a three quarter ton Chevy Silverado ten miles.

Ok, so first, ten miles doesn't sound like it's that far but if you're staring at a 5500 lbs hunk of metal in your rearview mirror, the truck you're driving can barely clear a simple foothill, and you can't go much over 35 mph .... ten miles can seem like 900. Anyhoo, we started by towing the Suburban (Marge) out of the driveway because the slope and relative space of my driveway is certainly not conducive to the trailer's specific loading needs. So very slowly and very very carefully, we towed Marge out into the street and after some slight repositioning, we managed to tow her about half way on the trailer. Next we hooked up the pickup to the trailer, cranked Marge into position, chained her down, and strapped in the rear truck ramps.

Holy Moley - the pickup hauled some heavy metal ass on the way there! Although it took forever to get to the repair shop, no one honked while we held traffic at a steady 35 in a 45, traffic was light, the weather was nice, and everything ran smoothly. When we finally got to the place, we picked out a spot to unload and jumped out. There were three cooks at this pizza place next door watching us attempt to get Marge into a parallel parking spot - it was funny. They were prolly like "HA! A chick and some guy are gonna move that thing?! Yea right, I gotta see this." They brought out chairs. :)

After removing all the chains and straps, I pushed the truck down the ramps as Paul steered from the drivers seat. At one point he caught his front tire on the side of the trailer so we were both rocking the truck back and forth to get it unstuck. ... The dudes across the street are still watching from their chairs.... So we rock it loose and it gets halfway into the parking lot. Shit. Ok so I put my hands back on the front bumper and push like I've never pushed before. Down the lot, into the space, and then readjust - Paul's pushing from the front door but I don't have any energy left as I'm practically horizontal shoving the back bumper. ... the dudes are still watching from 30 feet away..... Holy Moley - we got it in place!

After that we packed up, dropped the trailer off and went home. We started at 7 and got home at 10. It was amazing though. I felt a renewed sense of strength and confidence - two things I haven't felt in a while. I'm not going to do it again for a very long time but it was a fantastic experience.

Those pizza dudes were probably like "holy shit man, they actually did it." YEA.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sometimes meetings seriously suck.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I've decided to change my life. Somewhere along the line I must've missed a step. I have to stop and figure out what happened.

I watched the video tape in my camera a few nights ago. It's a collection of clips from various vacations we've taken over this year. It's actually pretty cool to see like 2 minutes of Chicago, then a party in Armada, then Bliss, etc. etc. and so on and so on. The only thing I don't like about it - is that you can hear my voice. I am not funny. I am one of those people who tells a bad joke and there's silence. I'm going to be totally honest with you blog, I am not the right person to be talking on video. Next clip, I'm merely a quiet observer.

I feel like I hit a road block. When did it become ok for me to have to push myself through life? I wasn't like this a few months ago.

I remember when I was asked to play on the Varsity soccer team at my high school and I didn't know anyone on the team, not even the one other freshman. I remember doing extremely well because I didn't know anyone and my only outlet was sports. I remember the pre-season 2 mile runs and the 3 hour practices. I remember playing against all of the older girls at other schools and doing well. More importantly, I remember thinking that I couldn't reach a ball but that I'd try anyway.....and I'd get it.......I didn't stop, I didn't slow down, I had a goal and I wasn't going to stop until I achieved it.

I want that now.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I woke up thinking about a job I had about a year ago last march; a job that I'd like to think never existed. Normally, I make a solid effort never to think about it but eventually thinking about it becomes inevitable and there's not much I can do to stop it. Most of the time, the only reason why it comes back into my head is because I'm really embarassed about something or when I force myself to think about it when I'm on the 12th of a 15 minute run and I need a little extra motivation. The job is just one of those jobs that turned into a disaster; an imaginable, predictable disaster that went unnoticed and very quickly went into the proverbial 'hole' both by effort and monetary loss. It was like a hurricane in southern florida or a tornado in kansas - all the conditions and risk factors for the storms are in place, you can see it coming, and you know it's going to possibly cause catastrophic damage to anything and everything, but all you can do is sit and wait it out while praying it doesn't take everything you have.

I dream of the day that I forget about that job. I hate it and I'd like nothing more to never talk about it again but I can't. Much like the stupid thing that I blurted out when I was talking to Robbie and Lola about down payments at Blissfest. It was a really, really foolish thing to say and I shouldn't have even thought it, much less say it. First of all, it's not even entirely true and second, I'm a gigantic moron. The truth is, I had help but I also contributed a good portion of cash into my real estate investment - so much so that, as I am even more embarassed to say, I'm left with very little to show for it. I can only hope that a regretful moment of utter insensitivity and egotism hasn't soured any chance of a friendship.

...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

So this guy came in yesterday and fiddled with all of the computers in our company network. Before yesterday, we'd only share one, maybe two folders on the network and now we share the whole computer. Cool? Maybe - I don't know - personally I think the dude was installing monitoring devices on our computers. My dad could be monitoring what I'm writing right now. ...... hmmm.. .. So how's it going dad? Spying on me huh? .... maybe there are trigger words that he uses to all of a sudden monitor and record typing -- maybe it's like porn, doobie, crack pipe, arse -- you know, something like that. what if I set off the monitoring devices if I wrote 'argh! the pirates found me booty - those scallywags!'? .... would the word 'booty' or 'scallywags' set it off? ......interesting....... hold on! wait! do you think if he can get into my computer...he can get into my brain??!! He could monitor my brain!!! Holy Moley! ........

Or, he could just be changing around the network. Who knows.

Monday, July 10, 2006



To the best camp at Blissfest 2006:

Merry Bliss & See you next year!

-Jackie


(it's 7:35am and they're all probably still sleeping in their tents right now -- bastards.) :)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I've got a smile on my face, I've got four walls around me
I've got the sun in the sky, all the water surround me
Oh you know, I've been down and sometimes I'll lose
I've been battered, but I'll never bruise... it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright.

Jeana sits on the corner, what keeps her from dying
Let them say what they want, but she won't stop trying
Oh you know, She might stumble, they push her 'round
She might fall, but she'll never lie down...it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright.

Cuz in this beautiful life there's always some sorrow
It's a double-edged knife, but there's always tomorrow
Oh you know, It's up to you now if you sink or swim,
Just keep the faith and you're ship will come in...it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright.
And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright, it's alright


I've got a smile on my face, I've got four walls around me

Monday, June 26, 2006




Yea.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I really need to go up north and it really needs to not rain when I go up there. This week is so depressing, I need to just get outta here for a day.

Lately it seems like I'm making a whole lot of excuses for my roofers. Don't get me wrong, it's not because they're totally imcompetent and they do a terrible job -- it's just that they don't do a 'perfect' job. It's kinda like if some guy was restoring a rare hot rod and he spent countless hours on the engine, interior, and body work but dropped it off at Maaco for paint. Or a builder was building a high end home, say $500,000+, and he/she decides to use formica & linoleum in the kitchen. It's all fine that the work is completed and it's functional but it's kinda like they get to the fine details of the job and they gave up...you know? A rare hot rod should have an ultra custom paint job, the high end home should have granite countertops and slate flooring, and the freakin details on the roof should be taken care of during the job! It's like these guys spend so much time preparing and making sure that the big things are right that they pay almost zero attention to detail -- then end up making themselves look like complete asses when an inspector looks over their work. The guy ends up like "hmm, nice overall work except this isn't right and this sucks." I hate that. It's like finally being able to afford $500,000+ in a home, looking at linoleum floors, and saying "I'm spending a hell of a lot of money and this cheap crap is what I have to show for it?" My thought: if you do it, do it right and follow through.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Next weekend, I'll be up north for three days. Blog, you do not know how happy that makes me. YES.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

the doors opened into a large ornamental foyer that is, despite it's exquisite beauty, likely to be fundamentally ignored by most of it's visitors. one of the directors, a short, older man in a black suit, was standing in the middle of the floor speaking softly to a woman in a knee high dress and pagmina. I paused. she glaced at me briefly after the director walked towards me.

"can i help you?"
his eyes went straight to mine and froze.
"lindsay please"
he nodded and led me down this small main hallway, embellished with the same superlative details as the foyer. although I suspect the intent was to induce some sort of tranquility or serenity for the people who pass through here, the hallway, much like the foyer, still felt just as cold and unfortunate as my reason for being here.

The director showed me through to a big gathering room where maybe four or five groups of three stood around the room. I quickly scanned through the crowd to find someone I knew but there wasn't a one. I walked over to the photos of her for a few minutes and then walked back to the guest book. I wanted to see her before I left but there wasn't an opportunity at the moment. I waited.

I caught her video of photos, playing over sarah mclachlan and I wanted to cry. a picture of her and her brother appeared on the screen and I nearly lost it. they were in this sibling lovey hug like embrace in the photo and she had this gigantic smile on her face that mushed together with her brother's. she looked maybe 12 years old. I could barely suck back the tears welling in my eyes.

the crowd cleared and I made my way towards her. there was a rosary in my jacket pocket and as I approached her, I ran the beads through my fingers. I stood by her feet mainly because I didn't have the heart to ask people to move, but after seeing her - I preferred where I was rather than where I could've been. Standing over her seemed too intruding for a friend she hasn't seen or spoken to in over 10 years.

she looked peaceful. I made of sign of the cross, said a prayer, and said my goodbyes. I don't think she would've remembered me but I thought, just as K pointed out, she would've wanted her teammates there. It was nice to see her again.

as I walked away I took the rosary out of my pocket and pushed it into the palm of my hand with my finger tips. stopping at door, I glaced down at the irish cross and wondered if I was really at this place, walking away from this 24 year old woman whose family must be in shock. I stepped back in the hallway, turned to take one more look at the room, and then, on the brink of another emotional breakdown, I pushed the door open and walked out to my car. the air was warm but a welcomed release. the inside of the funeral home was almost too much to tolerate any longer. she was so young. she'll be missed.

Monday, June 05, 2006

We went to Paul's Discount Tire picnic yesterday. We had to wear matching tee shirts. It was sad, but extremely funny.

I haven't made up my mind completely yet, but I don't think I like the Discount parties. To be honest blog, I don't fit in. Most of the women at these events either seem overwhelmed with taking care of their kids or young, new, and quiet as hell. Nearly all of the latter turn out to be girlfriends, whom are only there to provoke jealousy among the herds of other single men (and possibly married as well). The mom's are there for the kiddy rides and the petting zoo and maybe a chance to get out of the house. And although the dads are around, they are more than likely associating with colleagues or sucking up to the big wigs, leaving their wives to handle the little tykes.

The more we go to these things, the more I feel as though I need to be almost....well, subservient. I'm starting to notice that my role is to be this trophy wife that's only slightly better than a blow up doll. Paul's manager, sitting not 12" away from me, referred to me as a "she" -- as in "what's she riding this summer?" My own husband responds "oh she's riding this." I would've said something but nothing I would've said in that situation would've been nice or appropriate so I held my tongue. I thought that was for the best.

I'm not totally convinced that he did it intentionally but it's hard to think otherwise. I mean, how awkward is it to talk about someone who's sitting 12" away from you? I don't know, maybe it was just a knee jerk response within a conversation that would normally take place at work. Who knows.

Things like that happen a lot though. Most Discount people don't acknowledge the wives/girlfriends when talking to their work buddies. I'm dying to say that that is a characteristic of just discount but I know I can't. It probably happens in tremendous proportions among bigger businesses and I just don't see it. All I know is that I don't fit in with the 'ignored wives club'. I don't know what I'm going to do to be any different but I know I'm not going to be a part of it.

Friday, June 02, 2006


Downtown from 160' in the air.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

View Up-River from Grosse Ile
Grosse Ile Parkway Bridge

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Saturday I fried my shoulders in the HOT sun while planting. It took me almost all morning to finish but I did and my garden looks great. My neighbor even said that I was doing a great job, which is cool. However ... I think he came out to get a closer look at my jamaican forearms and gleaming whitey biceps only to run back inside and laugh with his wife and in-laws. Yea, that must've been hot. If I had entrance music to walking out to the front yard to plant, it would've been "Cotton Eye Joe". Note to self: buy overalls.

Sunday I spent all day with Paul cleaning the entire house, inside and out. Then we bought a fire pit and two chairs for our Sunday night soiree. About 10 other people came over, we cooked meat, drank, and sat around the fire until midnight. It was really fun, I really enjoyed it.

Monday.....we did nothing. I wanted to play golf but it was record hot outside and Paul and I weren't in the mood to sweat and burn for 3 hours. There is so much we could've done but "couch potato" sounded soooo good at 10am in the pleasantly cool basement. Ultimately we ended up watching CSI/Inked marathons for like 9 hours - what a fantastic Memorial Day. :)

Today, it's going to be a relatively easy work day and then it's off to the gym. I'm gonna try to get back into my workout schedule. I went a little overboard Sunday night so I feel like I need to sweat out some toxins. It'll be nice I think. Plus, I'd like to lose a few more pounds for the wedding. I wanna be skinny. :)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Yesterday was such a beautiful day for a round of 18. My back hurts, my face is burnt, and my ego is bruised a little but I can't really complain about a break from work. It was nice. I played well on the first nine but the back nine, dude, it was like I'd forgotten everything about golf all together. By the end, I was so frustrated and tired of trying that I decided all I was going to do was stare at the ground - no aiming, no lining up, no nothing, just hitting. Yea, I was hitting the straightest and longest shots I've ever hit before at that point. I still need to tighten up my short game but my drives are getting way better.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

9 minutes. I spent parts of last week, part of last Sunday, last night, and a good portion of this morning working on a project that's due today. 8 locations and about 5 1/2 calendar days (3.5 working days) to get it done --- I get it done this morning and I f-ing forget a very small but yet very huge portion of the project. It's like my whole chance to bid on this thing relies on whether or not I can get this piece of paper by 12 today. I'm supposed to be playing golf at 11.

3 minutes. I have to beg these people to get my guarantee papers by noon. My fax machine is broken so I have to do this all by phone while I beg, beg, beg my way into those papers. shit.

1 minute til they open. Please let them say yes. Please. I really don't want to look like a complete moron.



I called. Crappy. I think the lady is pissed. She prolly just got into work and here I am, calling the second they open, desperate for papers. I should send her a thank you card or fruit basket or something. SOB I'm so annoying.

Sunday, May 21, 2006




Blogger! Live update! This is Paul tearing into the shower to fix some bad tile/plumbing issues. CRAZYYYYY

Friday, May 19, 2006

YEA!

I normally wouldn't stop working on a job just to write a blog but I felt it was important that I post. I wanted to tell you, blog, that I finally finished constructing the backbone of my company. As of today, I am a recognized and legitimate builder and I am granted the option of legal recourse on property should a buyer/owner ever fail to make payment. At first, they told me I would have to wait six-eight weeks for any official word - maybe that's designed to make you happy when you get it in 4 weeks like I did. .... yea that's prolly it...... Anyhoo, so yea! I've reached my first huge milestone/accomplishment and it feels terrific. Just wanted to share. :)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006




Paul's new favorite toy. ;)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I'm not bargining, I refuse to do it. I might joke but I'm not going to really mean trading this project for another. Yes, this project is beyond terrible and if I had the chance to go back, I would've left the deal in a second. Losing one customer instead of a pot full of money would've have been more than worth it at the time. But as it is, I'm going to continue to address my responsiblities there. I won't give up even though my word and our reputation for being a stand up company are officially shot to hell. I've virtually lost all respect on that job, for real - but I don't really care anymore. I have an excellent track record with other customers and I don't intend to spoil my good vibes with one miserable job.

Well, I'll try not to spoil my work life with one miserable job. It's surprisingly difficult though. It's like an embarrassing moment that you can't stop thinking about. Maybe it's something you said that you felt guilty about 5 minutes after you said it or maybe you were drunk and you got into a little childlike tiff and you feel like a total complete idiot when you wake up the next morning and realize that you got into this stupid, stupid fight that you can hardly remember (but oh it's on the video camera that you brought) combined with the fact that you can just barely walk, eat, or all otherwise function because you drank so much the night before...and you have to live with that experience for the rest of your life. I hate that. It's like you want to forget about it but you just can't. You just can't believe that things went the way that they did. HUH it SUCKS.

PS - don't worry, the fight wasn't anything more than a tackle/punch between friends - but embarassingly juvenile enough to make me never want to do that again.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Bought a new bed this weekend. I'm so proud of Paul for totally taking control over whether or not this lady was going to get a sale. He was like "excuse me, can I have a minute with my wife please?" This sales lady was like "uh, yea, yea sure." I was so proud. Normally he really tries to be nice and friendly but this time he was like 'let me make this decision without you breathing down my back.' He never used to do that before - I'm so proud.

Monday, May 01, 2006

I went to my cousins bat mitzvah party last night. It was alright, I mean, it was all that one could expect a 13-14 year old's party would be....except for the dance moves of some of these tiny girls. Some of them haven't even gone through puberty yet and they're dancing to the Black Eyed Peas, dry humping the air. They're in stiletto heels, seriously short black dresses, a whole lot of makeup, and they're not even old enough to drive! It was weird. It was really weird.

My cousin didn't seem like she was part of those groups, which makes me feel really good. As far as Paul was concerned, his daughter will be wearing nothing less than a burlap bag to one of these things - that makes me happy too. I remember when Color Me Badd came out and my parents were like "no!" and I wasn't allowed to listen to them until I was 18....but by then they were like 40 and so not in. I wonder if parents do that now. Do you think they censor they're pre-teen's music? Would you when you have a pre-teen?

My answer: hell yea. Some of the songs are the radio should only really be played in 18+ clubs. I mean come on, the whisper song, "wait til you see my ((oh))" - a pre-teen shouldn't be listening to that. That's just a little too far.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Went to a roofers meeting/party last night at Second City. Paul was able to squeeze himself out of a couple hours at work so he could come. There weren't as many folks at this place than the casino last year but we still had a good time. The skit/show thing was cool and quite funny. I thought it would be an excellent first or second date thing for new couples - you know, instead of the dinner and a movie type thing. Overall, I label the night : "Unique"

Monday, April 24, 2006

I find it really irritating when people sit in their car, in a driveway or side street, and honk their horn because they are too f-ing lazy to get out of their car and knock on the front door. There are two houses in my neighborhood famous for said behavior and it seriously makes me think of ways I can return the favor. One time, I wanted to walk outside, put my face right next to the driver's side window, and hold the button down on a fog horn for like 5 minutes. Another time, I wanted to shoot paint balls at the car every single time they honked. If they finally got out of the car, I would let a few more paint balls fly just because they'd get out to deal with a paint crazy lunatic but not for a simple knock on the door. Then this morning, I thought I could just walk over to the car, knock on the window politely, and then yell "shut the f up you lazy bastard" at the top of my lungs.

I'm still trying to decide which one of my solutions would be more effective. I'm not quite sure yet but I bet I'll probably make a 'off-the-top-of-my-head' decision the next time someone knocks.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

In the past two days, I've visited 12 cities on the west side of the state, including Kalamazoo. I'm kindof a traveling salesman I guess. Anyway, so while I was in kzoo, I stopped briefly at the speedway on westnedge, south of whites rd, you know - by the cemetery? Yea...All I wanted was gatorade and maybe some gum or something and I get bumped out of line for these three nasty looked dudes. All three of them were dressed in white tanktops and jeans, both stained with sweat and dirt, their hair was mashed to their heads, and their faces and hands reflected the greasy skin oil, generated from working outside all morning, whenever they stood in a beam of sunlight. They were probably about 20 in age but scoffed and snorted like they were 13 and mowing lawns for a little cash. They threw their gas station nachos and drippy 50 oz cokes on the counter and asked the lady to ring them up together. I wasn't upset that they hopped in line in front of me but I was a little annoyed and I could see the lady behind the register was as well. For a second, while the woman scanned the bar codes of the bags and bars of candy these guys tossed next to the nachos, a chick, dressed strikingly similar to these dudes, walked through the door. The guys seemed to know the chick and while they packed up their items, they asked her how she'd been.

She spoke in this loud, obnoxious voice, as if to boast, that she'd been in court all day after she'd turned herself in at 8am that morning. She said she'd been there from 8am til noon with court officials and that she wasn't very happy that she had to stay for so long. Shortly after that, I made a phone call to Paul's cell phone and left a message about how much I hated Kzoo.

I really honestly hate Kzoo. The only reason I can somewhat tolerate it, is that there are a few good people I still talk to that live in the city or south of it. Funny thing, I used to love it but after volunteering and interning, I really started to hate it. I was sick to death of the fact that my little had moved four times in about a year and a half because her mom was having trouble holding a job. I hated that she had four siblings, each with volunteer mentors and seperate, non-existent fathers. I hated rental companies like AIM because they were little money grubbers. I cringed when I had to work with or see these ridiculously poor people come in to Frank's office, in the circuit court downtown, to discuss $10-20 a week payment plans for a court appointed lawyer. The majority of these people would miss the first, second, and third payments despite the plan. I could barely deal with the monotony of the district court and the severly repressed and robotic employees who work there, day in day out. I hated knowing that there's nothing in kzoo for the residents who aren't in college. It's like business as usual while a whole load of people roll over in debt again and again. The people in the gas station just reminded me of all the shit that seems like it's just glazed over year after year.

I don't know, maybe I'm just socially retarded and it's not really that way at all. But everytime I think about kzoo, all that stuff pops into my head.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Well, I had a wonderfully entertaining weekend. I finally used the good china for my little Easter brunch/dinner on Sunday for the in-laws. It was fun. After they left at around 5, I passed out until 9:30.....a sleep session that's been reoccuring the last few days. I still think it's due from all of the work I did last week but who knows at this point. Last week was an emotionally draining, work week from hell and I guess I'm not surprised my body is shutting down like this.

Last Monday, I spent nearly all morning completing project and all afternoon downtown, walking roofs by myself. Tuesday, while getting a crew started in the morning, I had to drive material back and forth three times before getting another trucker to come out the forth and last time. Consequently, the trucker broke down while he was at this jobsite and couldn't make his delivery to another site that afternoon. Tuesday afternoon, I was almost thrown out of a coffee house by a complete and total asshole for treating him like a complete and total asshole. Wednesday, I had a 3 hour walk of 10 more roofs in the morning and a paperwork afternoon that lasted until 6pm. Did I mention it rained all day Wednesday? Thursday, roof walks in Farmington - one of the addresses was way wrong and cost me 45 minutes in travel time in the morning. The afternoon brought more trouble after a phone call from a metal man let me know that some very expensive, labor-intensive material has gone missing from a jobsite. Completely gone. I was on the phone and doing paperwork at the same time until 5:30. Friday, same type of thing - went to walk 4 more roofs in the rain with my dad and then came back to finish more paperwork. I left at about noon. When I got home, I slept for a couple hours, woke up, then slept until Saturday morning.

I'm keeping my head up though. This week has to be a better week....it just has to be.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Ok so I have to post this. I went to this onsite meeting with a customer of ours this afternoon and I took my boss (pops). I really wanted it to seem like I was tagging along because I hate this job with everything in me and I would so much rather pass it off on my boss...but whatever. Anyhoo, so we're out there and we're talking about the same structural problem the Onsite Super and I have been talking about since day one. For some reason, my father needs to repeat it to this guy so that he can understand.....in man-language. So we get through the whole thing, come up with a solution and then the customer mentions a past-due bill owed to us by one of his tenants. The customer points towards the tenants' store and says "oh I bet you'll work it out in five minutes, I'll wait here."

Oooooooohhh no. I know this asshole tenant, I've talked with him about this bill before and he basically told me to go screw myself. The guy orders work to be done on his building and he doesn't want to pay for it. .... Sittin all smug in a corner....what an asshole....... Anyway, so we walk in and I've already got it in for this guy right - so I wrap my arms in front of my chest, puff up, and lay into him after he tells me he's not paying for work he was required to hire us to do. My voice, just nearly surpassing his in volume, makes him snap and look me dead in the eye. He says, "you lower your voice in front of my customers or you'll be outside." I could feel the side of my mouth raise to form this quiet, 'Oh-you're-an-asshole-and-I-just-got-you-to-show-it' type smirk. He fires one cold stare right back at me, showing the whites of his devil eyes. Oh he was pissed.

My dad jumps in like the nice guy and of course, saves the day by politely and calmly telling him he's a cheap bastard. Anyone could tell this guy tried his hardest not to flare a nostril at my father in fear of looking like a TOTAL asshole so he turns to me and tells me that our invoices look like they were authored by a child. He then quickly followed with the question "did you write these?" Huh. I whipped out another smirk and said "does it make a difference?" ....then I bit my tongue. In my head, the sentence ended with a "after all, we thought maybe you'd be able to understand them that way." ....but I half considered the chance that the devil inside of him would've lunged at me, gnashing its' teeth out of its' lust for blood. Although, I didn't dare move in efforts to show my willingness to defend myself.

After a few angry minutes, the customer walks in, curious as to what's taking place between us. Wouldn't you know it, it was like the clouds parted and the sun revealed Jesus in front of us and choirs of angels burst into song! The son of God is human! Praise lord Jesus! Praise God! .....The asshole suddenly changed his story and wanted to pay us. He actually looked at me, ME, for approval of his payment and he actually grinned....at ME. So I decked him. No I'm kidding but I was, at that point, very afraid this guy was going to hire a hit-man to kill me as soon as I left his store. I didn't show it though. I stood my ground. I won't let another jerk like that walk all over me. .... that is, until I'm in a pine box, 6 feet under ground and he just happens to walk over my patch of grass saying "how you like me now?" ......... I need a bodyguard.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Life is a waterfall,
We're one in the river,
And one again after the fall.

Swimming through the void
We hear the word,
We lost ourselves,
But we find it all?

Cause we are the ones that want to play,
Always want to go,
But you never want to stay,

And we are the ones that want to chose,
Always want to play,
But you never want to lose.

Aerials, in the sky,
When you lose small mind,
You free your life.

Life is a waterfall,
We drink from the river,
Then we turn around and put up our walls.

Swimming through the void
We hear the word,
We lost ourselves,
But we find it all?

Cause we are the ones that want to play,
Always want to go,
But you never want to stay,

And we are the ones that want to chose,
Always want to play,
But you never want to lose.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Well I did most of what I wanted to do this weekend; the lawn is officially free of leaves, the basement has a few less loose ends, we have a new folding table/cabinet (thanks to P), and the office is clean. I didn't get to building the desk in the office or my bike but it's no biggie - I didn't have the materials for either anyway.

On Saturday, I went to the HD and picked up a couple of books I really wanted. I really want to learn more about landscape design including the right types of trees, shrubs, vines, and groundcover I can use for my spotty little gardens. I can also find some good screening plants to get rid of the view of the bottom of the neighbors deck...which in all honesty, was the main reason I wanted to learn about landscape design. They seem like nice people but I hate seeing the underside of their deck, the side of their pool, and having their dogs come right up close to me when I'm working back there. I don't like it when they bark, it scares me. Anyhoo, so I'm forcing myself to learn how to fix the problem and maybe turn my thumb green while I'm at it. We'll see I guess.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn’t get a ticket, it was a sold out show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream

He heard one guitar, just blew him away
He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day
Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store
Didn’t know how to play it, but he knew for sure

That one guitar, felt good in his hands
Didn’t take long, to understand
Just one guitar, slung way down low
Was one way ticket, only one way to go

So he started rockin’
Ain’t never gonna stop
Gotta keep on rockin’
Someday he’s gonna make it to the top

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He’s a juke box hero

Thursday, March 30, 2006



I got a new coffee mug yesterday. I'm happy.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I know it's weird but I'm so excited for this weekend. Pdub has Saturday off so we have a good two days to get stuff done around the house that we haven't been able to get to lately. Little things in the basement need to be done like one more piece of drywall, a little bit of trim here and there, and the last beam across the ceiling. I'd like to at least attempt to build a desk for my office cause I could really use more table top space. I'd like to pick up the leaves in the yard and clean up the gardens for next month. Then I'd like to maybe work on my bike if I have time.

I wanna feel like I actually did something with my time this weekend. The basement will go quick and it's supposed to be warm this weekend - so I plan to be building, helping, or fixing something near or actually inside the garage for the better part of the weekend.

I have drive this week and I don't know why.....maybe I'm suffering from Spring Fever...or it could be the coffee I just finished.....who knows....

later.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Ok so they're having open casting calls for The Apprentice in Chicago on April 1st and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't actually thought about going. I don't think there's any possibility that I'd ever be selected - I haven't quite carved my little piece of the american dream yet, I didn't graduate with honors from an ivy league school, and I'm not that ruthless - but wouldn't it be great to tell your kids that you drove all the way to Chicago to interview for a job with Donald Trump?! Ha!

Monday, March 27, 2006

I felt terrible Saturday night. Paul and I went to a surprise party for a friend and we stayed for about 5 minutes after she was "surprised". We left at like 10. Paul didn't know anyone and after 10 hours of work, he was exhausted and moments away from passing out - so I took him home. I felt terrible as soon as we left. I really hope people didn't think we were "too cool" to hang out with them or something. We're just old I guess.

At one point, I noticed this girl and for a good 10-15 minutes after I saw her, I was trying my best to remember where I'd seen her before. Was it elementary school or middle school - I knew it was at least one of the two. When she walked over she asked if I was really who I was - she mentioned to Paul that we were friends in elementary school and middle school. I'm a dumbass. So we talked about life for a few minutes and then she left to mingle with another couple. It was like a flood of memories came rushing through my head - I remembered all of these things about her and what she was like back in middle school. .... Then I felt as old as ever. The last time I saw her was in 1996 - 8th grade. That was 10 years ago. 10. I couldn't believe it. I hope she didn't think I was a totally bitch for not having that much to say. I get nervous around people I don't know or haven't seen in 10 years. It was total blast from the past.

I saw some other people I haven't seen nor hung out with in at least two years. They seem to be the same as they were when I last saw them. It was funny because I started off feeling rather melancholy about the whole thing - we were at an apartment, drinking can beer, listening to Rusted Root, hanging out with old friends, and talking about getting drunk and social. It was like we were back at Western preparing for the drunken mess that was our Saturday night. It was nice at first, then it kinda wore off as do most nostalgic thoughts that cross my mind. Eh, oh well - I just hope no one thought we were rude by leaving so quickly. I really do.

Friday, March 24, 2006

I am so much more ambitious when I'm working alone. Simple as that I guess. I don't quite have any explanation why, I just think I work better when I do all the grunt work by myself. I like working....which brings me to the topic of this week. I hate this week. Nothing is happening this week. I am so f-in bored. I can figure jobs in like 2 seconds now which is good buuuuuut it's bad too cause then I'm left with 7 hours, 59 minutes, 58 seconds with nothing to do. I want to have seven or eight jobs to look at right now. I would really love to have a plant to look at but I don't want to be picky. Oh man I need something.

Interesting Construction Tid Bit for the day:

New Biodiesel plant underway for Bangor, MI.

I don't know, could be good or horribly, terribly bad for Bangor. We'll see I guess.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

So I was listening to the news on my drive home yesterday when I heard about this outrageous criminal case going on in Tampa. Have you heard about the whole Debra Lafave thing? Well if you haven't, here's the low down: Ms. Lafave is a substitute teacher who has been accused and convicted of criminal sexual assault for having sex with a 14 year-old student not once, not twice, but apparently at least three different times. From the first of two counties eligible to take a stab at her, she received three years house arrest and 7 years probation. When the second county took a shot, the mother begged the prosecutor's office to plead Ms. Lafave out so as to avoid putting her son on the stand ... she didn't want to put him through such a traumatic ordeal. The ASA responded by offering up a plea to Ms. Lafave and the defense ran with it, exchanging any jail time for more probation (I think). They, of course, presented it to the judge and by "everyone's surprise" (sarcasm) he said "YEA NO, I don't think so." This is where the story gets REALLY interesting.

The judge is, duh, a judge. He's elected, in a non-partisan election (supposedly), to uphold the law while hearing cases presented to the court. It seems almost too obvious that he would not allow this crap to go on without doing or saying something. He rejected the charges based on, what I can only imagine, the fact that the punishment proposed in the plea agreement was galaxies away from what it is supposed to be.

Well, the mom freaked out and was "very offended by the judge's comments." She couldn't believe that the judge wanted to make her son go through the system. This radio show interviewed a former prosecutor for the second county who commented "no one likes going to court. In all my career, I have pursued numerous cases for people involved in domestic or sexual assaults and not once have I had someone tell me that they didn't feel better after getting the ordeal overwith. It provides closure." This former prosecutor lady said that the mom made the wrong decision but out of the right choice - protecting her son.

So what did Mr. Prosecutor do after he heard the news? He dropped the charges. Yeap. Dropped. Ms. Lafave held a press conference and I guess she smiled or something while she talked about the results. Well, the mom of this boy starts to complain about the teacher not showing any remorse or regret. She's, all of a sudden, upset that this woman is happy she didn't get convicted in a second county.

What the hell. I don't get it. What planet does this mother think we live on? You got what you wanted lady, your son didn't have to testify, this is the result. Deal. It's over.

Ok so now I just want to mention something that I was thinking about this morning when I read over the full story. First, the ASA that tried this case in the second county, is likely to never have a bright career in criminal justice for his soft response to these charges. Second, I don't want to sound insensitive but put the kid on the stand. Third, check out at this substitute:



Honestly, 14 year olds? You are so f-in desperate you have to go to 14 year-olds? Holy schnikes.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

do you ever day dream? I do. Whenever I find myself alone in the office or I'm trying to finish a tough estimate amongst all of the other office noise, I shut my eyes for a second and imagine that I'm in Steamboat CO. I'm wearing a mountain employee jacket and I'm taking a ride up the gondola by myself. There's hardly anyone on the mountain, so I'm free to kinda roam around a little - not too far though because I'm between shifts. I get to the top, strap on my skis, and head to my next lift. On the way, I wave to Paul, who's showing the basics of snowboarding to a dozen little shredders. It's a beautiful sunny Wednesday and I'm working on a mountain. Life is grand.

I love that day dream.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Top of the Mornin!

I was thinking about this post yesterday and I thought I came up with a cool way of saying "happy st. patty's!" through the ever popular shamrock. So without further adieu, here are my fun st. patty's day photos of shamrocks..............





The cute shamrock.





This shamrock is probably worth about a dollar.





He makes me wanna say "me gold, me gold! I lost me gold!" or "I lost me lucky charms" , either way.





Yea! Shamrock flip flops!





Shamrock Ale. Sound good?





The indoor shamrock pool. That's pretty cool.





A drunk shamrock.





and last but certainly not least, ken shamrock from the WWF. sweet.

Monday, March 13, 2006

So finally the plumber came about 12:30 on Friday and it took about 20 minutes to fix our back up problems. I guess it was good because now by watching him I know how to save myself like $200 in plumber fees ........... but it's so not cool because I just spent over $200 in plumber fees. Last night we came back from Chicago to find that we definitely have to replace a portion of the new floor. It's a bummer.

The weekend was fun. I got a little crazy on Friday night and drank a little too much, it was alright though. Saturday night I was able to tolerate a shot of Bailey's and rum but that's about it. Lindsay got almost teary eyed when I told her I didn't want anything, she felt bad I guess because she thought that I wasn't having any fun without a couple of cocktails. Truthfully, I probably could've gotten away with having one, maybe two drinks, but why spend more for a drink that I might be able to get down - as opposed to a cheaper drink like Coke that I could drink and will help keep me awake and happy? I chose the latter and still had a damn good time. It was fun.

Oh and if anyone reads this who was there this weekend: I am so embarrassed about Friday night, I am so never doing that again. I'm so embarrassed.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Well I thought things were turning around but I was mistaken.

Monday - had a life assessment. found out there was a millage hike shortly before I moved into my house in July of '04. the result, I owe an additional $250 in escrow payments over the next 12 months.

Tuesday - failed an inspection. got another LONG list of items to complete. I just happen to be the punching bag for the customer who is, understandably, at his wits end with my company and our repeated failed attempts to satisfy a VERY picky inspector. had a screaming match with my dad about the fact that most of our base roofing crew is over 40 and in roofer years, makes them all over 120 years old. Response: to get a new crew, we have to get more jobs, in order to get more jobs we have to bid more and we're not bidding on everything. In 9 days, I've done over 2 million worth of bidding. I guess it's not enough for one pm.

Wednesday - my brother missed work due to the flu. Didn't get to eat lunch because I wanted to get a bid in early, went to a meeting in the afternoon, feeling better, went to my city treasurer's office, confirmed my millage rate. gonna have to suck up the $250. did a demo on my income tax refund. don't think I'll get back much. fuck.

Thursday - the day started off well. got through work fine. came home, started dinner, did some dishes, put clothes in the laundry. Plumbing backed up, got under the brand new flooring and soaked the new wood for the last beam, a few 12' pieces of baseboard, some ceiling material, and spread under the wall. My laundry? Still in the washer in a pool of water. I'm supposed to leave for Chicago tomorrow and I have no clothes.

Oh God I'm trying. I am really trying. Please let this be the end to a dreary week. I don't know if I can take another hit before I completely break down.
I had a really bad beginning of the week but it's slowly getting better. I'm starting to transfer over from a nonstop Disturbed/Motorhead marathon to singing "Thunderstruck" this morning. I take that as a sign for better times to come. I love Angus.

Anyway, so I turned in a bid yesterday and about an hour later, I had to go to a pre-bid meeting for another project. While I was waiting for the pre-bid meeting, I got a few calls about various projects and personnel and whatnot. To avoid eavesdropping, I walked away from the 9 other bidders in the hallway and as I walked away, I noticed that there was another female waiting for the meeting. I checked out the portfolio she was holding and she was defintely there for the meeting -- and I was a totally affected by it.

I don't know what it was but I, all of a sudden, became incredibly arrogant and totally bitchy. Now the funny thing was that it didn't really bother me that her company is rather snobby and that she's coming in my local for a job -- it absolutely bothered me because she's a woman. Can you believe that Blog?! Me, bothered by another female in the business!?! I acutally had to stop myself and think about what I was doing. After that, I was fine. I even smiled and nodded at her as we were leaving.

A little while later, I realized what happened. It's pretty much the same feeling I get when I see NAWIC(National Association of Women in Construction) ladies. Most of them don't work for contractors, they either work for Blueprint companies or suppliers or are accountants and whatever else. So when I'm told I need to join, I get so pissed. I worked my ass off for two years trying to earn the respect of my competitors and finally, these guys are starting to turn around. What's worse is that I hear other contractors say things like "I'll have my girl at the front desk write it up for you" or "my girl will send you something right now". Most of the women in NAWIC are these "girls".

They make me so mad. It's like trying to a win a football game as a cheerleader. Yes, cheerleaders are a fantastic part of a winning team but the football players are the ones who actually win the game, not the cheerleaders. I want to support this other roofer chick but I know she has a real good chance in dropping back to a more white collar position. The stress alone makes it difficult to stay in but to have to work double time to fit in, makes it seem damn near hopeless. I hate the way I feel about it because I do want to see more women take an interest in construction but I can't stand it when the only women who seem to get involved are the f-in cheerleaders.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The weekend was good. I had my b-day dinner on Sat night with my buddies which was really cool. I am officially 24 now. Yea. Went to look at a few houses with Lindz on Sunday. We found a variety of good and bad ones and some in desperate need of TLC. It was fun. The market is so soft right now, one could probably score a great deal. Maybe in a few years things will turn too and capital gains will be made. Eh, who knows though, right?

Anyhoo, the real reason why I'm posting today is not to talk about my weekend. I wanted to get this thing off my chest cause it's been killing me for about a year and a half -- ever since we stepped foot on this one job. We put a roof on this retail building a while ago and we went cheap. Ever since we installed this thing, there have been problems atop problems atop more problems. Other trades dropped, stored, and removed equipment and caused little holes on this huge roof, all over the place. And of course, you don't know that the holes are there until you get a leak call. Then the owner of the place is like "j, come one, let's get this project closed" like I don't care about getting this stupid job off my desk. The day I don't have to deal with this thing anymore, is the day I act like I won the lotto. This stupid deal is like having someone repeatly hit you over the head because you hestitate to fix a leak someone else caused and not get paid for it. I'm tired of having to deal with this stupid, stupid mess.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006



TO ME!!!!! YEA!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

One of my clients (yes I have "clients" now) told me that he enjoys talking with me because I always have a fantastic attitude whenever I speak with him. That makes me happy. I mean the happiness in my voice is always a bit of a suck up I admit but I think it helps to reassure my customers. Yes, yes, I'm not a fool, I know they see right through me because, duh, I'm a saleman, but most don't care. Most are just happy that someone sucks up to them with a smile. And I found that if you add the "yes sir, I'll do it as fast as possible for you, is there anything else you need?" -- people usually relax, ease up a little, and eventually they just leave it up to me to handle. I like that.

Brings me to another point bloggie, I like micro-management. I think maybe it's somehow related to my love of bidding, working, and completing heavy industrial plants. Everything has to be exact, like down to the first twist of a bolt exact. I love that. I love it so much I would be absolutely thrilled if I got everything to run like clockwork and then some X factor through me a loop. Then it's high energy, stress lovin, beyond all expectations management time. I freakin love that. I used to hate it because I would get completely lost and frustrated but now I'm like "bring it on!" It's like making sure everything is on schedule and beating cost is the first nerve-racking but yet rewarding trick and then quick problem solving and reschedule is like the tah-dah-highlight-of-the-show trick. It's cool.

oh you know what bloggie, you are right, I really should've keep this little tid bit secret. I am such a nerd.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

So I was at work last night until 5. Normally I leave at 4 but I had to get some things done before this morning. Anyhoo, so since I was working kinda late I thought I might just skip working out so that I could go home and rest my brain. Well, that was the plan until I stepped on the scale in the office. I was the only one around at that point so I had the chance to freak out a little if I needed to. Then I saw it - the digital scale said I'd gained 5 whole pounds in two weeks! Naturally, I did the 'head forward, eyebrows up, "WHAT?!"' motion. So I finished a few things, locked up, jumped into my truck, and headed off to Bally's. Oh no, there was nooooo stopping me this time. No way. I'm not getting any rest until I do double my cardio today.

I get to Bally's, check in, change, and head up to the second floor. There's no treadmills open! Shoot. I get on the bike instead and scroll up to 20 minutes at a heart rate of 160. I'm startin to sweat, "eye of the tiger" is blasting into my ears, and I feel like I'm stalking the people on the treadmills. The resistance keeps going up on the bike and my leg muscles started to burn but all I could think about was the stupid office scale and the fact that there are no treadmills open. 18 minutes later and " Like a dog in a howl, I bite everything, and I’m big and I’m drawl, and I’ll ball your thing, I keep a stiff upper lip.." Good Lordie I love workin out to ballads! Kick ass! Anyway, so a treadmill opens up. I finished my two remaining minutes on the bike then I walked quickly over to the treadmill.

Oh it's on now. I start a warm up walk and it pops into my head that there's a reason why I start with the treadmill. My legs are tired from pushing and it showed as I walked. Whatever I'll work it out. I get into my run and here comes "Hot for Teacher". I'm totally into it now. 20 minutes later I'm sweating like a piggy and I'm bout ready to pack up.

I get downstairs, unlock my locker, and then move my stuff to another bench. I figure, "what the hell, it can't hurt right?" I step on the 'real' scale (the one with counter weights and stuff) and it says I actually lost a pound over the last two weeks.


I hurt this morning. Lesson learned.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Normally I wouldn't say anything because I'm somewhat embarrassed about it but I'm gonna say it anyway.

Sometimes I wish I was cool enough for my dad to talk to me like a normal human being. Cool enough that age, relationship, or gender didn't matter. We could just talk and joke around like normal fucking human beings.

I gotta get back to work.

Monday, February 13, 2006



I heard a rumor recently that another rookie quit after a two months of this industry. My response: "Hey man, it may be tough and it may be incredibly stressful, but how many opportunities in life do you get to snap a shot like this?" Today, I love my job.
Had a good weekend. Bought some new pants and an air freshener. Watched Into the Blue last night. I was surprised but that movie was pretty good. I like my new pants. The size I would normally wear was WAY too big so I had to get a pair two sizes smaller. That was exciting in the mental way. My air freshener is orange and smells like pina colada. I'm not crazy about pina colada but the color matches my truck so that's nice. Hmmm. Alright see ya!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Metaphor.


Scene One: College apartment. JoeD, Heather, Paul, and I are shoving the ratty, old, three piece sectional couch out the ground floor window of the apartment and throwing it into the bed of a borrowed, beat up, black pickup truck that's parked backwards in a spot off the small hill that descends from the apartment window. It's the end of the summer, JoeD and Heather are moving out of my student (aka cheap and quite nasty) apartment complex and into a nicer and not so filthy, above ground apartment. (The dialogue in this scene is fuzzy and incomprehensible; meant to be a flashback or dreamlike state, purely images of smiling people in the midst of moving)

No real Dialogue here.

Scene Two: I logged into blogger.com and I'm staring at a blank post, thinking about something to write. I skim over the papers that fill the four tiered tray stack on the top left side of my desk, then over the paperwork covering most of the bottom left and middle. The picture of Paul and I in 2112 Burdick is suspended in a glass frame next to a tall stack of floppy disks I haven't filed yet. My business cards, in the top middle portion of my cold metal gray/black desk, are in a small plastic holder in front of my keyboard and my computer screen takes over the top right corner surrounded by decent sized speakers playing the internet alternative radio station I like so much. My computer tower sits on the floor closest to the paneling that covers most of the walls in this building. I still can't seem to think of something to write.

"What day is it?" I thought. "Shit, I'm so stupid, it's Thursday. Uh no wait, it's Friday. I lost a day? What the hell - what am I thinking? whatever."

Scene Three: Still staring at the computer not getting any work done. All of a sudden, a freight train going full speed down the hallway outside my door. The sound of the gates 'ding ding ding ding' and the flashing red lights on the top of the gates feels so real it's like I'm actually at a crossing. Too stunned to move, I do nothing. Stop. There's logos on the cars. My company logos are on the sides of the cars. I get up and I start running along side. With every breath of air sucked back into my lungs, I imagine that last day of moving out in college. There! There's a storage car door open and I start to move my legs as fast as I can. I push so hard that tears mix with the sweat pouring out of my skin. My hair flings behind me, whipping me in the shoulders and the back of the neck. My muscle ache but I'm not going to stop. A year and half of working plays over the last day of college but it's stuck in fast forward. I reach out and while I grab the door latch, a piece of metal tears into the side of my forearm. I can't spare a breathe to let out a scream of pain but I still manage to drum up enough strength to pull myself into the train car. Exhausted and breathing quite heavily, I take a seat and as I look around, I see my fellow employees and many other industry pros.

END.


I did it. I have officially become an industry professional today. From broke college student to know-nothing rookie to a very promising project manager. I feel good. I feel really good. 23 years old and I'm actually comfortable enough with my title to show some confidence in myself. I'm not stopping here though. No I'm not giving up. I'll never give up. I will work my ass off to stay on this train.

Thanks for listening.