Thursday, February 23, 2006

One of my clients (yes I have "clients" now) told me that he enjoys talking with me because I always have a fantastic attitude whenever I speak with him. That makes me happy. I mean the happiness in my voice is always a bit of a suck up I admit but I think it helps to reassure my customers. Yes, yes, I'm not a fool, I know they see right through me because, duh, I'm a saleman, but most don't care. Most are just happy that someone sucks up to them with a smile. And I found that if you add the "yes sir, I'll do it as fast as possible for you, is there anything else you need?" -- people usually relax, ease up a little, and eventually they just leave it up to me to handle. I like that.

Brings me to another point bloggie, I like micro-management. I think maybe it's somehow related to my love of bidding, working, and completing heavy industrial plants. Everything has to be exact, like down to the first twist of a bolt exact. I love that. I love it so much I would be absolutely thrilled if I got everything to run like clockwork and then some X factor through me a loop. Then it's high energy, stress lovin, beyond all expectations management time. I freakin love that. I used to hate it because I would get completely lost and frustrated but now I'm like "bring it on!" It's like making sure everything is on schedule and beating cost is the first nerve-racking but yet rewarding trick and then quick problem solving and reschedule is like the tah-dah-highlight-of-the-show trick. It's cool.

oh you know what bloggie, you are right, I really should've keep this little tid bit secret. I am such a nerd.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

So I was at work last night until 5. Normally I leave at 4 but I had to get some things done before this morning. Anyhoo, so since I was working kinda late I thought I might just skip working out so that I could go home and rest my brain. Well, that was the plan until I stepped on the scale in the office. I was the only one around at that point so I had the chance to freak out a little if I needed to. Then I saw it - the digital scale said I'd gained 5 whole pounds in two weeks! Naturally, I did the 'head forward, eyebrows up, "WHAT?!"' motion. So I finished a few things, locked up, jumped into my truck, and headed off to Bally's. Oh no, there was nooooo stopping me this time. No way. I'm not getting any rest until I do double my cardio today.

I get to Bally's, check in, change, and head up to the second floor. There's no treadmills open! Shoot. I get on the bike instead and scroll up to 20 minutes at a heart rate of 160. I'm startin to sweat, "eye of the tiger" is blasting into my ears, and I feel like I'm stalking the people on the treadmills. The resistance keeps going up on the bike and my leg muscles started to burn but all I could think about was the stupid office scale and the fact that there are no treadmills open. 18 minutes later and " Like a dog in a howl, I bite everything, and I’m big and I’m drawl, and I’ll ball your thing, I keep a stiff upper lip.." Good Lordie I love workin out to ballads! Kick ass! Anyway, so a treadmill opens up. I finished my two remaining minutes on the bike then I walked quickly over to the treadmill.

Oh it's on now. I start a warm up walk and it pops into my head that there's a reason why I start with the treadmill. My legs are tired from pushing and it showed as I walked. Whatever I'll work it out. I get into my run and here comes "Hot for Teacher". I'm totally into it now. 20 minutes later I'm sweating like a piggy and I'm bout ready to pack up.

I get downstairs, unlock my locker, and then move my stuff to another bench. I figure, "what the hell, it can't hurt right?" I step on the 'real' scale (the one with counter weights and stuff) and it says I actually lost a pound over the last two weeks.

I hurt this morning. Lesson learned.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Normally I wouldn't say anything because I'm somewhat embarrassed about it but I'm gonna say it anyway.

Sometimes I wish I was cool enough for my dad to talk to me like a normal human being. Cool enough that age, relationship, or gender didn't matter. We could just talk and joke around like normal fucking human beings.

I gotta get back to work.

Monday, February 13, 2006

I heard a rumor recently that another rookie quit after a two months of this industry. My response: "Hey man, it may be tough and it may be incredibly stressful, but how many opportunities in life do you get to snap a shot like this?" Today, I love my job.
Had a good weekend. Bought some new pants and an air freshener. Watched Into the Blue last night. I was surprised but that movie was pretty good. I like my new pants. The size I would normally wear was WAY too big so I had to get a pair two sizes smaller. That was exciting in the mental way. My air freshener is orange and smells like pina colada. I'm not crazy about pina colada but the color matches my truck so that's nice. Hmmm. Alright see ya!

Friday, February 10, 2006


Scene One: College apartment. JoeD, Heather, Paul, and I are shoving the ratty, old, three piece sectional couch out the ground floor window of the apartment and throwing it into the bed of a borrowed, beat up, black pickup truck that's parked backwards in a spot off the small hill that descends from the apartment window. It's the end of the summer, JoeD and Heather are moving out of my student (aka cheap and quite nasty) apartment complex and into a nicer and not so filthy, above ground apartment. (The dialogue in this scene is fuzzy and incomprehensible; meant to be a flashback or dreamlike state, purely images of smiling people in the midst of moving)

No real Dialogue here.

Scene Two: I logged into and I'm staring at a blank post, thinking about something to write. I skim over the papers that fill the four tiered tray stack on the top left side of my desk, then over the paperwork covering most of the bottom left and middle. The picture of Paul and I in 2112 Burdick is suspended in a glass frame next to a tall stack of floppy disks I haven't filed yet. My business cards, in the top middle portion of my cold metal gray/black desk, are in a small plastic holder in front of my keyboard and my computer screen takes over the top right corner surrounded by decent sized speakers playing the internet alternative radio station I like so much. My computer tower sits on the floor closest to the paneling that covers most of the walls in this building. I still can't seem to think of something to write.

"What day is it?" I thought. "Shit, I'm so stupid, it's Thursday. Uh no wait, it's Friday. I lost a day? What the hell - what am I thinking? whatever."

Scene Three: Still staring at the computer not getting any work done. All of a sudden, a freight train going full speed down the hallway outside my door. The sound of the gates 'ding ding ding ding' and the flashing red lights on the top of the gates feels so real it's like I'm actually at a crossing. Too stunned to move, I do nothing. Stop. There's logos on the cars. My company logos are on the sides of the cars. I get up and I start running along side. With every breath of air sucked back into my lungs, I imagine that last day of moving out in college. There! There's a storage car door open and I start to move my legs as fast as I can. I push so hard that tears mix with the sweat pouring out of my skin. My hair flings behind me, whipping me in the shoulders and the back of the neck. My muscle ache but I'm not going to stop. A year and half of working plays over the last day of college but it's stuck in fast forward. I reach out and while I grab the door latch, a piece of metal tears into the side of my forearm. I can't spare a breathe to let out a scream of pain but I still manage to drum up enough strength to pull myself into the train car. Exhausted and breathing quite heavily, I take a seat and as I look around, I see my fellow employees and many other industry pros.


I did it. I have officially become an industry professional today. From broke college student to know-nothing rookie to a very promising project manager. I feel good. I feel really good. 23 years old and I'm actually comfortable enough with my title to show some confidence in myself. I'm not stopping here though. No I'm not giving up. I'll never give up. I will work my ass off to stay on this train.

Thanks for listening.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

To start, I haven't been drinking as much as I used all. Maybe it's the empty calories or that I usually don't buy booze or maybe it's that I'm not around people who are into drinking every day, I don't know. Whatever it is, it's nearly dried up any sort of desire to drink I had since it happened. I mean, I'll have a night out but it's gone from once or twice a week to maybe once a month. And when I say once a month though, I mean I don't have a single drop of alcohol of any sort except for one or two days out an entire month - if that at all. You know what, the weird thing is, I don't even have a problem with it.

The only thing that kinda bothers me about it though (and this doesn't happen that often but anyway) is that now I get the "she's not drinking, omg is she pregnant?!" Don't get wrong, I really do appreciate that people are interested in our lives, I really really do, but the truth is, I just don't feel like drinking anymore. And I guess it's more of the feeling I get when someone actually says that than the actual question itself - like I feel like I need to drink a beer to make people think I'm normal. Not drinking is normal......isn't it?

Monday, February 06, 2006

Dear Blog,

I got a late start this morning. It snowed this weekend and I didn't give myself time to clean my truck of the heavy, frozen snow and ice. I know, it's my own fault. I had plans to get this job off my shoulders this morning and now that it snowed, I don't think that's going to happen. I know, it's my own fault for not doing it sooner. This guy emailed me back this morning (remember the scummy contractor guy?) and refused my price break offer. Now I have to write a few letters, suck up to a few new friends, and go legal. I know Blog, it's my own fault for deciding to take this contract. I saw a picture from a friend's wedding last night of my husband and I. This morning, I decided I don't want to eat for the next month. I actually can't wait to work out tomorrow so I can force myself to run 2 miles in 10 minutes. Yea blog, duh, it's my own fault for not keeping my body in shape after high school.

I'm not having a good day. I wanna go home.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Did I mention that my brother-in-law is now engaged?! Well they are and they're very excited about having the ceremony in 2008. It's all so exciting!

Since '03, it's been like a freight train of engagements and weddings I can't believe it. Rob & Lola, Paul & I, Sarah & Pat, Mich & John, Scott & Lindz, Cousin Kristie, Cousin John, JoeD & Heath, Ryan & Jen, Adam & Kris, Laura & Yerty, Jon & Tina....and the list will likely grow throughout the next couple of years or so. This is so crazy. I love it through, I really do. People are always so happy and care free at weddings, it makes me feel good on the inside. :)

Oh, side note: I got a hair cut. Thank goodness, in another week I would've had the nickname "Rapunzel"