Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sometimes I get all worked up over things that shouldn't even be that big of a deal. Last week I took over this job for this customer who is EXTREMELY sensitive, in the sense that he watches over us like a hawk. Every little thing we do is evaluated by 10-15 people of whom scrupulously check for proper job procedure, safety, or union compliance, and then it's recorded with this utter malevolence that almost makes you feel like the writing on the page could leap off the report and strangle you as soon as you finish reading it. No one wants us there but yet I still go back every morning.

I think I make a big deal over the fact that there's tension between us and the customer but I can't help it. My administrative side wants to please the customer and ease out any hostility between us. I want them to know that I take a tremendous amount of pride and care in what I do and when I say I want something done, my guys listen. Then again, my worker-bee side comes out and I want to run things as smoothly and as quickly as possible. I don't want anyone to mess with my crew because it might take them away from what they're doing. So I don't make my guys worry about little details like gum wrappers or cigarette butts. ... I don't know......I ultimately end up acting like an overprotective tight ass that seriously needs to calm the f down.

So today, I took it slow and easy. I dealt with the issues that needed dealing with and passed off the ones that shouldn't be my responsiblity. I'm not letting myself get too far into this thing. I'm going to consciously make an effort not to turn into a basket case. From now on man, I'm totally level-headed.

Course then after I'm all well and good, I get a message from a cheapo that doesn't want to pay a $195.00 bill for something his builder caused. Nothing like a good kick in the teeth to make you re-evaluate your day. I'm alright though, I didn't stutter or hesitate when I spoke with the guy, even after he nearly lost his temper trying to convince me that this situation is my fault. Eh well, he'll get his some day - I know it.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The day is just approaching it's midpoint and I'm already ready to go home.

I spilled coffee on my shirt on the way to a job this morning. I'm supposed to be replacing a super which means that I have to be this tough-guy-badass on the roof .... but it's kinda hard with coffee stains on my shirt. I mean, how can you manage a crew of grimy, crude roofers if you can't even manage NOT spilling coffee on your shirt? I guess the trick is to have them care more about what I say than what I look like......

Monday, July 24, 2006



Congrats!!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Blog, I wish you could've seen the feat Paul and I conquered last night. It was almost as if we drove around in one massive protective bubble that allowed us to complete our task safely and steadily. We towed a 5500 lbs. Chevy Suburban with a three quarter ton Chevy Silverado ten miles.

Ok, so first, ten miles doesn't sound like it's that far but if you're staring at a 5500 lbs hunk of metal in your rearview mirror, the truck you're driving can barely clear a simple foothill, and you can't go much over 35 mph .... ten miles can seem like 900. Anyhoo, we started by towing the Suburban (Marge) out of the driveway because the slope and relative space of my driveway is certainly not conducive to the trailer's specific loading needs. So very slowly and very very carefully, we towed Marge out into the street and after some slight repositioning, we managed to tow her about half way on the trailer. Next we hooked up the pickup to the trailer, cranked Marge into position, chained her down, and strapped in the rear truck ramps.

Holy Moley - the pickup hauled some heavy metal ass on the way there! Although it took forever to get to the repair shop, no one honked while we held traffic at a steady 35 in a 45, traffic was light, the weather was nice, and everything ran smoothly. When we finally got to the place, we picked out a spot to unload and jumped out. There were three cooks at this pizza place next door watching us attempt to get Marge into a parallel parking spot - it was funny. They were prolly like "HA! A chick and some guy are gonna move that thing?! Yea right, I gotta see this." They brought out chairs. :)

After removing all the chains and straps, I pushed the truck down the ramps as Paul steered from the drivers seat. At one point he caught his front tire on the side of the trailer so we were both rocking the truck back and forth to get it unstuck. ... The dudes across the street are still watching from their chairs.... So we rock it loose and it gets halfway into the parking lot. Shit. Ok so I put my hands back on the front bumper and push like I've never pushed before. Down the lot, into the space, and then readjust - Paul's pushing from the front door but I don't have any energy left as I'm practically horizontal shoving the back bumper. ... the dudes are still watching from 30 feet away..... Holy Moley - we got it in place!

After that we packed up, dropped the trailer off and went home. We started at 7 and got home at 10. It was amazing though. I felt a renewed sense of strength and confidence - two things I haven't felt in a while. I'm not going to do it again for a very long time but it was a fantastic experience.

Those pizza dudes were probably like "holy shit man, they actually did it." YEA.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Sometimes meetings seriously suck.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I've decided to change my life. Somewhere along the line I must've missed a step. I have to stop and figure out what happened.

I watched the video tape in my camera a few nights ago. It's a collection of clips from various vacations we've taken over this year. It's actually pretty cool to see like 2 minutes of Chicago, then a party in Armada, then Bliss, etc. etc. and so on and so on. The only thing I don't like about it - is that you can hear my voice. I am not funny. I am one of those people who tells a bad joke and there's silence. I'm going to be totally honest with you blog, I am not the right person to be talking on video. Next clip, I'm merely a quiet observer.

I feel like I hit a road block. When did it become ok for me to have to push myself through life? I wasn't like this a few months ago.

I remember when I was asked to play on the Varsity soccer team at my high school and I didn't know anyone on the team, not even the one other freshman. I remember doing extremely well because I didn't know anyone and my only outlet was sports. I remember the pre-season 2 mile runs and the 3 hour practices. I remember playing against all of the older girls at other schools and doing well. More importantly, I remember thinking that I couldn't reach a ball but that I'd try anyway.....and I'd get it.......I didn't stop, I didn't slow down, I had a goal and I wasn't going to stop until I achieved it.

I want that now.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I woke up thinking about a job I had about a year ago last march; a job that I'd like to think never existed. Normally, I make a solid effort never to think about it but eventually thinking about it becomes inevitable and there's not much I can do to stop it. Most of the time, the only reason why it comes back into my head is because I'm really embarassed about something or when I force myself to think about it when I'm on the 12th of a 15 minute run and I need a little extra motivation. The job is just one of those jobs that turned into a disaster; an imaginable, predictable disaster that went unnoticed and very quickly went into the proverbial 'hole' both by effort and monetary loss. It was like a hurricane in southern florida or a tornado in kansas - all the conditions and risk factors for the storms are in place, you can see it coming, and you know it's going to possibly cause catastrophic damage to anything and everything, but all you can do is sit and wait it out while praying it doesn't take everything you have.

I dream of the day that I forget about that job. I hate it and I'd like nothing more to never talk about it again but I can't. Much like the stupid thing that I blurted out when I was talking to Robbie and Lola about down payments at Blissfest. It was a really, really foolish thing to say and I shouldn't have even thought it, much less say it. First of all, it's not even entirely true and second, I'm a gigantic moron. The truth is, I had help but I also contributed a good portion of cash into my real estate investment - so much so that, as I am even more embarassed to say, I'm left with very little to show for it. I can only hope that a regretful moment of utter insensitivity and egotism hasn't soured any chance of a friendship.

...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

So this guy came in yesterday and fiddled with all of the computers in our company network. Before yesterday, we'd only share one, maybe two folders on the network and now we share the whole computer. Cool? Maybe - I don't know - personally I think the dude was installing monitoring devices on our computers. My dad could be monitoring what I'm writing right now. ...... hmmm.. .. So how's it going dad? Spying on me huh? .... maybe there are trigger words that he uses to all of a sudden monitor and record typing -- maybe it's like porn, doobie, crack pipe, arse -- you know, something like that. what if I set off the monitoring devices if I wrote 'argh! the pirates found me booty - those scallywags!'? .... would the word 'booty' or 'scallywags' set it off? ......interesting....... hold on! wait! do you think if he can get into my computer...he can get into my brain??!! He could monitor my brain!!! Holy Moley! ........

Or, he could just be changing around the network. Who knows.

Monday, July 10, 2006



To the best camp at Blissfest 2006:

Merry Bliss & See you next year!

-Jackie


(it's 7:35am and they're all probably still sleeping in their tents right now -- bastards.) :)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I've got a smile on my face, I've got four walls around me
I've got the sun in the sky, all the water surround me
Oh you know, I've been down and sometimes I'll lose
I've been battered, but I'll never bruise... it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright.

Jeana sits on the corner, what keeps her from dying
Let them say what they want, but she won't stop trying
Oh you know, She might stumble, they push her 'round
She might fall, but she'll never lie down...it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright.

Cuz in this beautiful life there's always some sorrow
It's a double-edged knife, but there's always tomorrow
Oh you know, It's up to you now if you sink or swim,
Just keep the faith and you're ship will come in...it's not so bad

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright.
And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've just got to say... it's alright, it's alright


I've got a smile on my face, I've got four walls around me